The Next Step
by ndj35
Summary: Tom/Sasha slow burn, plus Tex/OC, slightly AU post season 3. Spin off from The Last Step, also featuring Mike/Rachel, and all your favourite characters (no one dies on my watch). Rated M for adult themes, smut and cursing.
1. All the Time in the World

_Author's note: This story is set in the same universe/timeline as my story The Last Step, which was about the love story between Mike Slattery and Rachel Scott (yes really!) but I promise you don't need to have read that to enjoy this one! The main thing you need to know is that aside from Rachel not being shot and killed, the timeline and events in this universe stayed pretty close to the show, until midway through season 3, when Alison Shaw was unmasked before she could execute her coup, and although the James remained in Asia to bring Peng to justice, events at home stayed focussed on rebuilding the country. This story starts in St Louis, about three months after the James finally made it home. Everything else you can pick up as we go along…_

 _Sadly, none of the characters from the Last Ship belong to me, we just hang out on occasion. Thank you for reading and reviewing!_

 **Chapter 1 – All the Time in the World**

Mike Slattery's words were still ringing in his ears as Tom Chandler watched Sasha Cooper laughing and dancing with their friends and colleagues on the lawn of the mansion that normally housed military headquarters, but today was hosting Mike's wedding to Rachel Scott.

" _Happiness is in short supply these days. If you can find some with Sasha, you should. Plus, if you don't, someone else will."_

In some ways, it would be easy to dismiss the advice; after all, Mike had just got married, he was hardly impartial. And although both of them had lost their wives to the virus, Mike's marriage had been over in all but name long before the Nathan James had set sail for the Arctic. It was right and good for him to move on, but Tom was still grieving for Darien, especially now that he was back in St Louis with their children.

But at the same time, he couldn't deny that he and Sasha had grown close during their time in Asia. He'd maintained to Mike that they were just old friends, but if he was honest with himself, there was still a spark there.

As if she could read his thoughts, Sasha looked over at him and smiled. She was wearing a long red dress, so different to the combat gear he'd grown used to seeing her in on the James, and perhaps it was that that made him notice just how stunning she was. Mike was right, he realised, now they were back on land, there would inevitably be a lot of men noticing Sasha, trying to date Sasha… His own disastrous one-off foray into the world of post-apocalyptic dating had taught him that, let alone listening to Tex's stories of his much more enthusiastic attempts.

And that was the question, wasn't it? Was he prepared to lose Sasha to someone else, because he didn't feel ready to take their relationship to the next level?

He smiled back at Sasha, his face not betraying a flicker of the thoughts running through his head; he'd always been good at hiding his emotions. She beckoned him, laughing and making a begging gesture. He shook his head, but at the same time his feet were already walking towards her.

As far as he could tell, the playlist for the evening was based on someone's iPod hooked up to an ancient looking speaker system and playing an apparently completely random selection of music. While he'd been talking to Mike there had been hip-hop in the background, as he'd watched Sasha it had been cheesy '80s pop, but now as he reached her, as though the universe were conspiring with Mike Slattery, it changed to Louis Armstrong.

" _We have all the time, in the world…"_

Sasha was still smiling, and around them those dancing were either splitting into couples or hastily leaving the floor. He opened his mouth to suggest they stepped away themselves, but her hand was already reaching out for his, he saw just the slightest flicker of uncertainty in those blue eyes, and then before he had a chance to think about it, he was taking her hand in his and placing his other hand on her waist, and although he kept a decorous gap between them, they were dancing.

"Beautiful wedding." Sasha commented, smiling at him again. "I liked your speech."

"Thanks." Tom laughed slightly, "Tex was a tough act to follow…"

"That suit!" Sasha glanced over at Tex, who was wearing a bright pink suit that he'd deemed suitable in his role as Rachel's maid of honour, and was now instigating drinking games at the long wooden table that constituted the bar.

"I know." He chuckled. "Overshadows the dress whites, that's for sure."

Their eyes met and they smiled at each other again, and Tom felt something give a little in his chest. Maybe he was making this too complicated.

"Rachel looked beautiful." Sasha offered, "She and Mike seem so happy."

"They do." He hesitated before adding, "I don't think it's always been easy though. I mean, this new world of ours takes some getting used to. And relationships are complicated enough-" He cursed himself as soon as the words were out of his mouth, but Sasha looked thoughtful.

"The new normal." She said. "Everybody's lost somebody. We're all trying to navigate that now." She looked up at him and the look in her eyes made him swallow.

"How do you think we do that?" He asked, unconsciously tightening his hand slightly on her waist.

"Slowly. Carefully." She smiled just a little. "Honestly."

"I think it will take some people more time than others." He said slowly, thinking not only of his own loss, but remembering hers: a man who had barely become her husband before being taken from her.

"That's not a bad thing." She acknowledged softly.

The music changed to an even slower song, and Sasha moved just a fraction closer to him, close enough for Tom to move his hand from her waist to the small of her back, close enough for her to move her hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck. For a few moments they just swayed to the music, and he breathed in the subtle scent of her hair.

"Sasha, I-" He began, but then something hit his shoulder with force, and he instinctively closed his arms around Sasha, pivoting his body to shield her as three drunken sailors lost their balance and sprawled across the makeshift dancefloor, landing heavily amid gales of laughter.

He looked down at her face, his arms still tight around her, her eyes wide and looking up at him in surprise, and for a split second he almost kissed her, but then he remembered where they were, and all the reasons not to do that, and instead gently let her go.

"Okay?" He asked, and she nodded.

"What were you going to say?" She asked.

He hesitated, but somehow the moment was gone. "Nothing important." He replied, once again employing his ability to hide his emotions behind a mask of calm.

"Commodore!" Tex was suddenly beside him, clapping him on the shoulder, drink in hand. "You are without a drink my friend." He turned to Sasha, "And the stunning Ms Cooper, I should buy you a drink and let you reject me in six languages!"

Sasha laughed as Tex stepped between them and slung an arm around each of their shoulders. "Actually, I could reject you in more than ten."

"And I still might keep trying." He steered them both towards the bar table. "Unless-" He stopped suddenly, "-I was interrupting something?" He shot Tom a surprisingly shrewd look, and he realised Tex wasn't as drunk as he seemed.

"We were just dancing." Sasha said, her smile directed solely at Tom. "That's all."

Once they were drawn into the group at the bar, there was no more opportunity to talk until the party finally started to break up. The sun had long since set, the bride and groom had disappeared hours before, and more than one guest was asleep on the lawn.

As he finished bidding Danny and Kara Green goodnight, Tom spotted Sasha sitting alone on the steps that led up from the lawn into the mansion.

"You need a ride home?" He asked.

"I can go with Alisha and Andrea." She replied. "They live just down the hall."

He nodded. "Well, I'd better get back. Dad took the kids home hours ago." He knew he was sounding stilted, but the ease he'd felt between them before had evaporated.

"Around the same time the bride and groom did their disappearing act?" She asked with a knowing smile.

"Kathleen is babysitting." He explained. "I think they wanted to make the most of their first night in six months without Jamie to interrupt them."

"Well, every couple deserves a wedding night, right?" Her expression was hard to read as she stood and brushed down her dress. "Goodnight Tom."

"Goodnight Sasha." He shook off the instinct to lean forward and kiss her cheek, because for a brief irrational moment, he worried he wouldn't be able to stop there.

She smiled and turned, starting to walk up the steps, before he found his voice and called after her.

"You know, I think Tex was talking about breakfast tomorrow, late breakfast, soak up the hangovers… If you feel like it."

She turned back and smiled at him, a different kind of smile. "Let me know, okay?"

"I'll call you if it's happening."

"That would be good." It was her turn to hesitate, before she said, "You could call me anyway. If you wanted."

"I'll do that." And for just a few moments, Tom Chandler let himself relax in the warmth of Sasha's smile.


	2. Keep on Walking

_Author's note: Thank you so much for the reads, reviews, follows and favourites, especially from those who haven't read The Last Step - I hope you're figuring out the backstory!_

 **Chapter 2 – Keep On Walking**

Sasha Cooper lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying not to smile, trying not to remember how good it had felt to be held by Tom Chandler, even if it had just been for a few moments, because every time she remembered she felt a surge of happiness, followed by a painful stab of guilt.

In a way, it would be easier if she could pretend she'd never stopped loving Tom, but that wasn't true. After they'd split up, she'd always felt affection towards him, and the memory of their relationship, but she'd moved on, and eventually she'd fallen in love again. With the man who had become her husband, and then shortly after their marriage, had died from the virus; before they'd had a chance to do any of the things they'd planned.

Widow. The word had never sat right with her. She didn't feel like a widow. The way the world was now, everyone was carrying loss with them, hanging around their necks, weighing on their shoulders. A collective burden of grief. It didn't make you special, or different.

She turned onto her side, away from the morning sunlight streaming through the window, and punched the pillow into a more comfortable shape.

Tom was a widower, and she was a widow, and fate had somehow brought them together - even though she didn't believe in fate - and they'd worked side by side in Asia, and now in St Louis, and she'd tried so hard not to think too much about him, because the guilt was tiring and her feelings were confusing. But then yesterday, at the wedding, they'd danced, and he'd held her, and he'd hinted - they'd both hinted - at this thing between them.

And now she was staring at the wall, which was no more distracting than the ceiling, and wondering if he was going to call. And wondering what she ought to do if he did. And wondering if she could manufacture another situation in which he might hold her, because even though she'd kissed him that time on the James, that had been all her, and she wanted it to be him this time. She wanted, she needed, to _know_.

Her cellphone buzzed, and she stared at it for a moment before answering.

"Sasha?" It was Tom.

"Morning Tom."

"I'm not sure that Tex's breakfast plans are happening." He sounded awkward, and she readied herself for disappointment. "But if you're hungry, we could go get something?"

The smile crept over her face again, and this time she didn't try to quell it. "That would be nice."

"The diner that opened near the training camp is supposed to be good." Tom offered, his tone still a little stilted. "You can walk from your apartment, right?"

"Yeah, I know where it is." Her gaze shifted to her wardrobe, which was a pretty grand description for a rail containing one pantsuit, one evening dress, a couple pairs of jeans and combat pants, and five military issue tshirts.

"I could meet you there in a half hour?" Tom was asking.

"Great." Then she remembered something, "Just you, or are the kids-"

"They're fine at home." Tom interrupted, and there was something in his voice that almost made her flinch for a second. But then he added, "I'd rather it was just us." And she rolled onto her back again and smiled up at the ceiling.

By the time she reached the diner, Tom was already waiting for her outside. She'd almost forgotten what he looked like out of uniform, and she was so busy assimilating the sight of him in jeans and a fleece jacket, it took a second for her to register exactly why he was smiling so broadly.

"Snap." He said drily, and as he indicated her clothing, she realised that they were accidentally dressed in matching attire - dark blue jeans, green tshirts, and black jackets. She grinned back at him.

"Great minds think alike?"

"Hungover brains make the easy choice." He countered as they stepped inside.

They ordered coffee, and toast, and a lot of fried eggs, because even if this breakfast was just an excuse to see each other, they were still both nursing hangovers, and eggs were a necessity. Also, if they were eating, they didn't have to talk, and since conversation was suddenly awkward, eating made it easier.

The old Sasha, the pre-apocalypse Sasha, might have just asked Tom straight out what was going on between them. But the post-apocalypse Sasha wasn't so bold. Not with this. Not with Tom.

"How are the kids?" She asked instead. "They have fun yesterday?"

"Yeah." She noticed how Tom relaxed when he was talking about his children. "Ash idolises Kat, and she's already getting the same about Lissy. Followed them around all afternoon." He smiled, "Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather she looked up to those two than some celebrity like before, but at the same time I want to protect her a little still, if I can." He looked down at his coffee. "Kat and Lissy, they both went through so much. Losing their mothers, having to become independent like that. I mean, Lissy is only just reconnecting with her dad, she and Mike are still working it out, you know? I want to shield Ash and Sam-" He stopped. "Sorry, I said that already."

"It's okay. I understand."

"They've been through so much." Tom looked up and met her eyes. "I can't take any risks with them. Not anymore. They need things to be stable."

"That makes sense. I know I'm not a parent, but I can understand." She was treading carefully.

Tom nodded. "It's one of the reasons I have to take things slow-" He broke off abruptly, and for a moment Sasha could have sworn the mighty Tom Chandler blushed.

"Things?" She asked, trying to keep her tone neutral.

He met her eyes again, and it was her turn to blush. "Sasha, you and I-" He reached across the table and slowly took her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. "There's something, right?"

She nodded, her fingers tingling where they were entwined with Tom's.

"But I don't know-" He continued, "-if I'm ready for that yet." He paused. "I still miss Darien."

She could see the pain in his face, and knew that for a second it was reflected in hers. "I know how you feel." She whispered.

He squeezed her fingers. "So we take this slow. Real slow."

She nodded again, and squeezed back, and felt more hopeful than she had for a very long time.

After breakfast they went for a slow walk around the block, talking mainly about work, because it was safe, and then about their colleagues and friends, and it was in the middle of Tom humorously complaining about sharing an apartment building with the terrible gossips that were Tex and Rachel that Sasha found herself deliberately brushing his hand with hers, and when he took her hand in his and kept walking, she felt something warm in her chest.

"You have to get back anytime soon?" Tom asked when they were back in front of the diner.

Once upon a time, she would have played games, played hard to get, kept him on his toes. But now that all seemed pointless, and kind of sad. "No." She said simply, and he smiled, and she smiled back, and he squeezed her hand and they set off around the block again

They managed to eventually walk back to Sasha's building by the longest route possible, in unspoken agreement that time spent talking and walking and holding hands was important, and a damn good way to spend a Sunday afternoon. When they finally reached the corner of her street, Tom tugged on her hand and they stopped walking.

"I should get going." He indicated the way back to his apartment with a tilt of his chin. "The kids will be waiting."

"Okay." Sasha let herself give him the smile that she'd given the ceiling that morning. The one that said something special was happening here, and even if it was confusing and a little scary, she liked it.

Tom bent his head and leaned closer, and for a second she forgot to breathe, and then his lips brushed her cheek and she closed her eyes because the tenderness of it was almost too much.

"See you later, Sasha." He murmured.

"Bye, Tom." She almost whispered.

"You know, you could call me?" He said, stepping back and smiling, adding just before he turned away, "If you wanted."


	3. More Haste, Less Speed

_Author's note: If only the apocalypse hadn't made everything so damn complicated…_

 _Thank you for all the reads, reviews, follows and favourites. Reviews make me happy, just saying._

 **Chapter 3 – More Haste, Less Speed**

"You have to tell me!"

Mike Slattery grinned at the sight of his wife standing with her hands on her hips, glaring at him, the impact only slightly marred by the long streak of baby vomit down the front of her tshirt. "I don't have to tell you anything." He shrugged. "What Tom gets up to is his own affair."

"You know you're going to tell me!" Rachel countered, "Because if you don't, I'm putting in earplugs and you're taking care of every night-time howl from now until Christmas!"

Their six month old son, Jamie, squealed agreement from his highchair.

"Okay, okay." Mike chuckled and pulled Rachel into his arms, kissing the indignation from her face. "It's not a big deal anyway."

"I'll be the judge of that." She smirked up at him.

"He took Sasha out for breakfast. Then for a walk."

"And?" Her eyes were gleaming with a look he knew all too well.

"And that's it. And you are not to tell Tex and start the gossip mill going." He was regretting giving in already.

"I think you'll find the expression is rumour mill, and I'm promising nothing."

For someone who generally conducted herself with a great deal of professionalism, Doctor Rachel Slattery's love of gossip came as a surprise to many. To her, however, it was a natural extension of her scientific curiosity; or at least that was her story, and she was sticking to it. But even she found herself blushing just a little as she rang Sasha and invited her over for dinner, right before ringing Tom and doing the same.

Even though he'd long since let go of any romantic feelings towards her, Tom Chandler still struggled to deny Rachel anything, even when he knew something was a terrible idea. So he accepted the dinner invitation, let his head fall onto his desk for just a moment, and then called Sasha.

"You been invited to Rachel and Mike's for dinner?"

"Yes, tonight?" She sounded slightly puzzled.

He sighed as his suspicions were confirmed. "Damn you, Mike." He muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Sasha asked.

"Let's just say Mike can keep a secret from anyone but Rachel."

She was silent for a moment, then, "You want me to cancel?" Her voice was a little flat.

"No, please don't." He said quickly. "just get ready for some scrutiny."

This time he heard the smile in her voice. "I think I can handle it. See you tonight, Tom."

"You want me to pick you up?" He offered.

She laughed. "Don't you live in the apartment directly above Mike and Rachel?"

He was glad they were on the phone so she couldn't see him grimace. "Yeah..."

"So I'll just see you there?" There was still a smile in her voice, and it made him feel less dumb.

Tom deliberately arrived early, mainly to avoid any possibility of Sasha being left alone with Rachel trying to probe into their relationship.

"I'm sorry." Mike greeted him at the door. "I was about to call you." He glanced over his shoulder and Tom heard voices coming from the living room, Rachel's sounding high and distressed.

"What's going on?" Tom simultaneously felt a rush of concern for Rachel, and frustration that his first reaction was still a rush of concern for Rachel. Those feelings are dead, he reminded himself. She's married to your buddy, remember?

"Old friend showed up. Brought bad news." Mike sighed and Tom nodded. It happened a lot these days. "You okay if we do dinner another time?"

"Of course-"

A woman emerged into the hallway behind Mike, and Tom caught a glimpse of red hair, a tattooed arm, and combat pants before she stepped into the kitchen.

"- I'll go downstairs and wait for Sasha, let her know." Tom finished.

"Thanks, that's good of you." Mike replied, with an almost entirely straight face.

In truth, Tom felt relieved. Not that he wished pain on anyone, particularly Rachel, but not only was he no longer in danger of spending an evening being the subject of scrutiny and sidelong glances, but he now had the opportunity to spend more time alone with Sasha.

He'd only been waiting a few minutes when she arrived, and he enjoyed every second of watching her walk towards him, the way her hips swayed and her smile widened. For a second he remembered watching her the same way all those years ago, the first time he clapped eyes on her. She'd been stunning then, but if he was pressed he'd have to admit she was even more so now.

"What are you doing down here?" She asked as she approached.

"Change of plans." He stepped forward to meet her. "Dinner's cancelled."

"Will you judge me if I say I'm relieved?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Not particularly. Are you hungry?"

"Not particularly." She was smirking a little, and he resisted a sudden impulse to kiss that smirk right off of her face. Instead he settled for taking her hand.

"Want to walk?"

"Sure."

St Louis in the early evening was becoming busier by the day. What had once been almost a ghost town now felt more like a small community, especially since a few restaurants had opened, and even a bowling alley. They walked hand in hand through the streets, not going anywhere in particular, not talking about anything in particular, but enjoying being in each other's company.

"How was your day?" Sasha asked, and Tom shrugged.

"Unexciting."

"You miss the action on the James?" She nudged his shoulder with hers and grinned, and he grinned back.

"What can I say? The desk job takes a little adjustment." He conceded.

"No arguments here. I was never one for the nine to five and home for dinner."

"No, you weren't." His tone was affectionate, but Sasha flinched slightly.

"Tom-" She started, then took a breath as he looked over at her in concern, "I have changed, you know. I mean, I'm not- Not everything is the way it was before." She cursed herself for sounding so inarticulate, but she needed him to understand.

"I don't know, you were still incapable of respecting my authority when we were on the James. That was all too familiar." He was trying to keep it light, and she smiled reluctantly.

"That is true." She acknowledged. "But other things are different. You should know that."

"Okay." He squeezed her hand, and wondered what sort of things she was referring to. Then he privately acknowledged to himself that the Sasha he'd known before had never showed one iota of vulnerability, whereas this Sasha… Well, she was still a badass, no question, but she was a badass with scars. Then again, so was he.

It was only when a couple had to step into the street to walk around them, tutting slightly, that Tom registered they had stopped walking. He squeezed Sasha's hand again and started moving, and she fell into step beside him. Their shoulders were touching as they walked, and neither of them acknowledged that they were suddenly heading straight to her apartment.

They walked together up the two flights of stairs, right to her door, and it was only once her key was in the lock that she hesitated.

"It's a mess in here."

"So that hasn't changed either."

She grinned and shook her head, and he followed her into the apartment.

"You want something to drink?" She asked.

"Sure." His heart rate was speeding up as he watched her walk over to the kitchen area. The studio apartment was small, and the bed dominated the room. He looked away as Sasha bent to get bottles of beer from the refrigerator, trying not to see the way her jeans stretched tight over her perfect rear. It was too soon, way too soon. Or maybe it was fifteen years too late.

"Tom?" She was in front of him now, beers in hand, smile fading from her face as she took in his expression.

The bottles crashed to the floor as Tom pulled Sasha into his arms, finding her mouth with his and kissing her hard. She opened her mouth readily as their tongues slid against each other, her arms wrapping around his neck, and the feel of her body pressed tight against his drove every thought out of his mind except one. His hands moving to her ass, he picked her up and slammed her against the wall as her legs wrapped around his waist. She was whimpering into his mouth, noises he remembered so well, noises that had always driven him crazy.

"Oh god, Sasha…" Tom groaned as she canted her hips and rubbed against him. Caught between his warm, strong body and the cold brick wall, she crossed her ankles in the small of his back, trying to press him even closer. He felt broader than she remembered, more solid somehow, but he tasted the same, and when she raked her fingers through his hair it had the same texture. Kissing Tom Chandler had always been electric, passionate, insanely arousing, and nothing had changed in that department. One of his hands shifted from her ass to her breast, and she gasped, a bolt of desire shooting straight to her core at the feel of his thumb rubbing over her nipple through her clothes.

"Tom, please…" She moaned, and he squeezed her breast tighter, the fingers of his other hand splaying slightly on her ass. He could feel the softness of her breast in his hand, feel how hard her nipple was even through her clothes, hear the way she was panting as he nipped and nibbled at the soft skin of her neck before kissing his way back to her mouth. It was almost like being a teenager again, making out fully dressed, bodies on fire, except there was nothing to stop them going further, nothing at all except…

Except…

His hands stilled, and his lips fell away from hers, and he shifted back a fraction, just enough for her to unwrap her legs from his waist and put her feet back on the floor.

"Tom?" She whispered, her hand on his cheek, moving her head to try to look into his eyes. "Tom?"

"Shit." He mumbled. "Shit. I didn't mean to do that. "

"I wasn't complaining." There was a gentle laugh in her voice, and it was enough for him to risk meeting her eye.

"I don't want it to happen like this." Was the best explanation he could come up with, and thankfully she nodded. "Like you said, some things are different." He added.

They sat on the couch, the miraculously unbroken bottles of beer now open and in their hands, and Sasha tilted her head to the side a little as she asked,

"Want to tell me something that's different?"

"You probably already know." He tried not to sound bitter, but sometimes it was hard.

"I'd still like to hear it." She said, a gentleness in her tone that he didn't remember ever hearing before.

He took a deep breath and managed a wry smile. "My wife died. And then the woman I thought I was falling in love with married my best friend."

She was quiet for a moment, then said, "Did you and Rachel ever do... that?" She nodded towards the wall where he'd pinned her.

"No! No. It was all me. She and Mike... that was going on the whole time. I read it wrong."

"You were grieving. It makes you feel different. Act different."

"You too?" He was desperate to move the focus away from the embarrassment of his feelings for Rachel, but he was also curious about Sasha.

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. I made some interesting choices in that regard."

He swallowed down a sudden surge of bile in the back of his throat, "Not Peng?!"

"No! No! Jesus, Tom!" She was half indignant, half laughing.

"Then..." For a horrible moment he wondered if something had happened on the James, under his nose, but then he remembered her kiss and dismissed the thought.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." She was looking away and smiling slightly, then she shot him a glance and he recognised her expression like it was burned into his brain, and maybe it was. It was the cheeky, daring, naughty Sasha smile that had eviscerated him fifteen years ago and apparently still could.

He managed to raise his eyebrows.

"Jesse." She smirked, and although he hated himself for it, felt like a cliché for it, the thought and the immediate image made him groan, right before it made him jealous as hell.

"Jesse?" He repeated, almost hoping he'd misheard.

"We kissed. It was a comfort thing. It only happened once." She smirked again, then sighed. "Like I said, grief makes you act differently."

Their eyes met, and he reached for her hand. "This... this is more than comfort, isn't it? I mean, it is for me."

She nodded. "Me too. But it makes me feel... vulnerable." She admitted. "Not a feeling I enjoy."

"Nor do I." He agreed. "So then we-"

"Take it slow." She finished for him. "I know. And I agree."

"I should go." He said reluctantly.

"You could stay." She offered, then quickly added, "We could just sleep. Honestly, that's all I meant."

"I know. And I would, really," He squeezed her hand. "But the kids-"

"Of course." And her smile told him that she really did understand.

He leaned forward and kissed her, and this time it was slow, affectionate, and although he still found it difficult to stop, it was in a different way. "Soon." He promised, and she nodded. He raised his hand to her face and slowly traced her cheekbone, then her jaw, as she leant into his hand.

"I thought you were leaving?" She asked softly, part of her so badly wanting him to stay, and part of her wanting him to go so she could breathe, regroup.

"I am. I'm just saying goodbye." And then he smiled, the special kind of Tom smile that Sasha had never forgotten, the Tom smile that years ago had made her uncomfortable, but now made her feel something very different. The Tom smile that once upon a time had meant he loved her.


	4. Hello Stranger

_Author's note: This chapter is all about Tex. Because that man deserves some fun. Just think of this story as two love affairs for the price of one._

 _Thank you, as always, for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting. You're all ace._

 **Chapter 4 - Hello Stranger**

At just about the same time Tom Chandler was pinning Sasha Cooper against the wall of her apartment and kissing her breathless, Mike Slattery was knocking on Tex Nolan's front door, right across the hall from his own.

"You got any spare blankets?" He asked, without preamble.

"Yeah… You moving a couple of bodies or...?"

"What?" Mike now looked puzzled as well as stressed, and Tex took pity on him.

"I'm wondering why dinner with Tom and his lady friend requires blankets." He clarified.

"Jesus, my wife really can't keep a secret, can she?"

"Sure she can, just not from me. Maid of honour code." Slightly belatedly, he realised Mike wasn't laughing. "What's happening, XO?"

"Dinner's off. Old friend of hers showed up, confirmed her old boyfriend died."

"Michael?" Rachel hadn't talked about him much, but she'd told Tex enough.

"Yeah."

"Rachel okay?" He asked with real concern.

Mike sighed. "She'll be fine. We're having a great honeymoon by the way. Beats the hell out of Niagara Falls."

Tex nodded, "I bet. So the blankets are for your unexpected guest?"

"That is correct. Stranger on the couch, adds to the romance already generated by the screaming child in the second bedroom." Mike looked exhausted for a moment.

"Kat's not here." Tex offered. "She's gone on that young cadet brainwashing thing Garnett and Kara organised. You can put your guest in her room if you like?"

"I should really argue your use of the word brainwashing in the context of the Service, but I'm too grateful right now." Mike mustered a smile. "You sure?"

"Yeah. No problem."

They had their demons, all of them. Their coping mechanisms too. Tex had always been a joker, but he was also pretty damn self aware, and he knew what those jokes were sometimes covering. He also knew why he hated sleeping alone in the apartment, and although having Mike and Rachel next door, Tom above, the Greens below, all helped, sleeping alone still felt too much like Gitmo after his buddies were dead and before the James arrived. But he didn't want to think about Gitmo, so he invited a stranger to sleep in Kathleen's bed instead. Which was fucked up, he acknowledged to himself as he changed the sheets, but that's life these days.

When another knock came, he opened the front door expecting Mike, and instead was confronted with hair, and curves, and tattoos, and a pair of combat pants so torn up they were practically falling off. And then the strange woman in his doorway smiled at him, and for one of only a few times in his entire life, Tex Nolan was lost for words.

"Tex, right? You're going to offer lodging to the vagrant?" Her British accent was similar to Rachel's, but less refined somehow, like the corners had been sanded off.

"Yeah, yeah, come on in." He stepped aside to let her through the door. Then he decided to deal with the situation the best way he knew how. "You want a drink?"

She turned around and shot him a grin, "Thought you'd never ask."

Once he was sat opposite her at the table, with a couple of shots of bourbon on the go, he took the opportunity to give her the proper once over. Dark red hair, dark green eyes, tattoos inside both forearms, another on her left shoulder, probably quite a few more under the combat pants and sleeveless tshirt; and the curves... He swallowed. Not going to think too much about the curves.

"So what's your story?" She asked.

"You don't waste time on the pleasantries, huh?"

"Not if I can help it." That grin again.

"My house, so you first." He decided, buying time because this woman definitely had him thrown.

She raised an eyebrow. "Okay, what do you want to know?"

"You could start by giving me a name."

"Shit! Sorry," She started to laugh. "Nina. Callaghan. Happy to answer to either."

"You in the service, Callaghan?"

"God, no. Just spent a lot of time around the military. I'm - I was - a war correspondent, if you can believe we ever needed such things." She was still smiling, but there was something... and then it was gone again. "That's how I knew Michael. We were in Kabul together once upon a time." She was looking over at him, and Tex realised she was sizing him up. "You're a contractor, right? Because I'm pretty sure you're not the owner of some very shiny boots and a dress uniform."

"Yes ma'am." He raised his glass to her.

"How did you get mixed up with this lot?"

"Right place, right time." He answered.

He watched her consider it, and then she grinned. "Fair enough."

"How did you get here?" He asked.

She held out her glass for a refill and he obliged. "Short version? I was in Russia when the red flu hit, managed to get in touch with Michael and a few other buddies before all the comms went down, made a plan to meet in Mongolia. By the time I got there, so had the virus." She paused for a gulp of bourbon and he noticed her hand was shaking. "They were all dead, so I took a Kamaz, as much fuel and food as I could find, and headed as remote as I could. Spent a few months in the wilderness going off my head, listening to phantom radio waves and wondering if the food would run out before the virus found me, and then I picked up a signal from the good old US of A saying the cure had been found. So I begged, bribed and bartered my way here." She shrugged.

"And Rachel?"

"The famous Rachel Scott? I always liked her. I wanted to tell her about Michael." She paused again, drank again, "And she's very probably the only person I knew before who's still alive."

"No family?"

"Never had one to begin with." She drained her glass. "Anyway, enough about all that. Tell me about St Louis. Tell me about the Nathan James." She was sizing him up again, but it felt different this time. "Tell me about you, Tex Nolan."

So he told her a few stories, and she told him a few stories, and the bottle of bourbon went from three quarters full to a half.

"You ever get it? The virus?" He asked at one point.

"Nope. Rachel says I should start playing the lottery. If they ever resurrect it."

And then the bottle was down to a quarter, and the electricity went off because sometimes that still happened, so they propped a torch on its end and the light threw strange shadows.

"What was the worst part? For you?" She asked.

"I was alone for a while. At Gitmo. Long story. I started talking to myself. Very boring conversations."

"I named my truck. I gave it a personality. And a Russian accent."

And a little while after that, the bottle was empty and Nina fell asleep at the table, her head resting on her folded arms.

Tex lifted her out of her chair, feeling muscle and skin and the soft dead weight of her over his shoulder, and for reasons best known to bourbon, carried her into his own bedroom instead of Kat's, and laid her on his bed. Then he would have gone to Kat's bed himself, but a soft, slurred voice said, "Stay." So he lay down next to Nina, no longer a stranger, both of them still fully dressed right down to their boots, and fell into a dead sleep.

He woke up to a pair of brown eyes looking directly into his, less than six inches away.

"I thought your eyes were green." He said, because it was the first thing that popped into his fuddled head.

"Depends on the light." She replied, her voice slightly croaky, and she tilted her head a fraction towards the sunlight coming through the window, and like some kind of magic, her brown eyes turned to green.

"I'll be damned."

"Won't we all." And there was something about her smile that tugged at his chest. "Can I use your shower?"

She sat up, and he did the same, cursing as the movement rattled his brain around inside his skull. "How much did we drink?"

"Too much." She grinned. "Or maybe not enough."

It took superhuman effort, but Tex managed not to think too much about the fact that Nina was naked in his bathroom, because Nina was Rachel's friend, and apparently his new drinking buddy, and there was no way he was going to start pining after another woman who wasn't the least bit interested in being more than his friend, even if she was tough and funny and smoking hot.

He was standing at the kitchen counter making coffee when she reappeared, fully dressed but with wet hair combed back from her forehead.

"I'd better head out. Got to find a more permanent place to stay, amongst other things."

"You're sticking around for a while then?"

"That's the plan." She bit her lip and then smiled slightly. "Thanks for the best night I've had since the apocalypse."

"Isn't that kind of a low bar?" He queried.

She laughed, and then stepped a little closer to him. "Well, there was one thing I didn't get a chance to do." And then Nina leaned in and kissed him, a kiss long enough for him to register what was happening and kiss her back, but not long enough for him to pull her close and make it into something more.

But as she stepped back, she grinned at him, a lopsided grin that made a dimple pop up in her left cheek, and just like that, Tex Nolan fell hook, line and sinker for Nina Callaghan.


	5. The Long Way Round

_Author's note: A lot can change in fifteen years…_

 _Thank you so much for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting. I'm so happy people are enjoying this story._

 **Chapter 5 - The Long Way Round**

There are a lot of qualities that make a good Chief of Naval Operations, and spending all day thinking about a woman isn't one of them, Tom reminded himself firmly as he sat at his desk and redirected his attention to the paperwork in front of him for the tenth time in an hour, before his mind wandered again just seconds later.

With a sigh, he pulled his cellphone towards him and typed out a text message.

 _You're one hell of a distraction._

The answer came back within seconds.

 _I'm not even there!_

 _My point exactly._

Sasha didn't reply right away, and after waiting a couple of minutes, he reluctantly started back in on the paperwork. Five minutes later his phone beeped.

 _Rachel is about to call you. Dinner back on for tonight._

 _If you're going, I'm going._

 _Will you walk me home after?_

 _Absolutely._

And with that, Tom finally managed to get down to some work.

When Rachel had rescheduled dinner, she had presumably planned to be an active spectator of Tom and Sasha's new relationship. Luckily for them however, she'd also invited Tex and Nina, whose chemistry was so palpable it overshadowed anything else. As they bantered and locked eyes and unintentionally excluded the rest of the table, Rachel's eyebrows climbed higher and higher.

"What the hell happened last night?" She hissed to Tex as soon as Nina excused herself to use the bathroom.

Tex shrugged. "We got drunk. Got to know each other. You know how it is."

"Did you sleep with her?!"

Tom nudged Sasha under the table and half caught her eye and they both started to snigger at the look on Rachel's face.

"No." Tex replied, "We just talked. She showed me her tattoos." His smile was just a little smug.

"You talking about last night, Kansas?" Nina returned from the bathroom and slid back into her seat beside Tex.

"Oh man!" Tex burst out laughing and Nina joined in. "I forgot that!" He looked around the table, "She changed my name to Kansas!" They were both howling with laughter, and Tex had his hand on Nina's leg as she pressed her head into his shoulder.

Mike picked up his glass and looked at the others. "Guess you had to be there." He said drily.

Between Rachel's shock, and Tex and Nina's camaraderie, and the desire to be alone together that neither Tom nor Sasha could completely hide, the dinner party broke up pretty quickly. Nina claimed to be going back to the guest house she'd supposedly found, but while Rachel said goodbye to her and Tex, Mike muttered to Tom that he'd seen Nina move her bags straight across the hall into Tex's apartment earlier. As Rachel showed Sasha and Tom out, she still looked distracted and rather incredulous.

"Rachel didn't ask a single question about us all night." Tom noted as he walked Sasha downstairs.

"Lucky escape." She grinned.

"I'll walk you home." He said, when they reached the lobby.

"You don't have to get back to the kids?" She asked.

"Dad's got it." He took her hand and they started their now familiar ritual of walking the long way round.

"I would like to meet them some time." Sasha said slowly, "Your kids."

"You've met them." Tom protested.

"Not for more than five minutes." She fought to keep her voice steady, "They're the most important people in your life, and if we're doing this then-"

"Sasha..." And she felt a shiver of cold run through her. "My kids have been through so much. I don't think they're ready for this."

"Can't I just meet them as your friend? Kara hangs out with them, right? And Rachel?" Sasha tried hard not to put a different emphasis on the second name.

"They were on the ship when the kids were with me, right after we lost Darien. It's not the same." He was starting to sound a little frustrated, and she found her own voice rising in return.

"No, it's not the same. You haven't been kissing either of them." She regretted it as soon as she said it.

Tom stopped walking and abruptly dropped her hand. "It has nothing to do with that."

"Then why are you keeping me away?" She was almost pleading now.

"You never wanted kids!" He half shouted, and she recoiled as though he'd slapped her.

"I was twenty-fucking-three, Thomas!" She threw back, and then to her own surprise and fury, she burst into tears; and since the one thing worse than starting to cry in front of Tom would be letting him watch her keep doing it, she turned and walked away, fast.

She could hear his footsteps following her, but right now she didn't care. Let him run after her, she'd always been faster. But he caught up with her at the door of her building, when she struggled to enter the security code.

"Go away, Tom!" She angrily brushed the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"No. I need to apologise, Sasha, I need to explain."

"You were crystal clear. Don't worry, I got it." She was burning with fury now.

"I was an asshole. I just-" She'd got the door open now. "Please let me come up. Please let me explain."

She turned and looked at him, and in that moment she didn't see his contrition, or his confusion, all she saw was the streak of stubborn black and white judgement which had always run through him and always, always, driven her crazy.

"Let _me_ explain." And this time her voice was deliberately cold. "Twenty three is very damn different to thirty eight. Especially for a woman. And I have tried to tell you that some things about me have changed, and you obviously didn't listen. So if you're going to base all of your decisions on who I was fifteen years ago, then what the hell is the point of us doing this?" And she provided the answer before he could, "There isn't one. Goodnight Tom." And with that, she slammed the door in his face, which right then felt really good.

Three minutes later, when she closed the door of her apartment behind her and slid down to sit on the floor, it didn't feel good at all. She wrapped her arms around her knees and started crying again. She'd told him the truth, but not all of the truth, and what hurt the most was that he was the only person she'd thought she might want to tell the whole truth to.

She was crying hard enough that at first she didn't hear the soft knocking on the apartment door. Then she gradually became aware of it, the sound of knuckles just brushing wood, and a voice.

"Sasha? Baby, please, let me in. Please. You're scaring me Sasha, please..."

Her tears were slowing, and she was listening. On the other side of the door, Tom was trying not to let his voice betray how frantic he felt.

"Sasha, I can hear you crying, I'm worried about you, please let me in, or just show me you're okay. Please, I just need to know you're okay." He paused and swallowed, "I'll get someone else if you want, it doesn't have to be me. I mean, I want it to be me, but baby, I can't leave you like this. Please, just-"

And then the door opened. Sasha was standing on the other side, her face a little blotchy from crying, her eyes slightly swollen.

"Baby?" She asked, with a tiny, teary laugh.

He made her some kind of fruit tea, because it was the only thing in her kitchen that looked like it might be vaguely soothing. She was curled up on the couch now, and her tears had stopped.

"Here." He handed her the steaming mug.

"Thanks." She wrapped her hands around it and focused her gaze on the rising vapour.

"I'm so sorry." He began. "I should never have said that."

"It's okay." She sounded tired. "It's why we broke up."

"But you were right. It was years ago, and you were so young."

"You weren't that much older." She reminded him.

There was a moment of silence, then Tom spoke again. "You said a lot of things are different now. You were right about that. I have two kids without a mother, and I'm protective. Really protective. Too protective, probably."

She didn't reply, just clutched the mug in her hands tighter, and Tom was about to try a different tack when she finally spoke.

"I lost a baby." Her voice was strangely flat, and it took a second for him to register what she was saying. "In China, just after the virus hit. We wanted to get pregnant right away, so as soon as we got married-" She paused and swallowed, "-we started trying, and it happened really fast." He watched her form the words, her mouth trembling, "I was really happy." And then she was crying again, and this time he pulled the mug from her hands and wrapped his arms around her, and held her while she cried and cried and cried into his chest.

Her throat hurt, and her chest hurt, and her eyes were stinging so much they felt like they were swelling shut, but Tom was warm and comforting, and he stroked her hair, and even though physically she was hurting so much, at the same time it was like a weight being lifted off of her chest. The secret she'd been carrying with her since that pristine hotel bathroom had been marred by blood and tears was now spoken aloud, and it was such a relief.

Tom was rocking her slightly in his arms, kissing her hair, his hand stroking her back rhythmically as he repeated, "It's okay. It's okay."

It was like a lullaby, she thought, as her tears slowed and finally stopped. And a promise. She really couldn't keep her eyes open now, and she felt exhausted and light and drained and better, and she wanted to tell him, but she didn't have the energy to form the words, so when he whispered, "Sasha?" She just nodded slightly, and when he picked her up, she didn't resist, but let him carry her over to the bed and lay her down. Everything was fuzzy, and she was dimly aware of Tom making a call, then of Tom taking off her boots, and then she was suddenly very aware of Tom laying down behind her and wrapping himself around her, cradling her, his chest pressed against her back, and then everything else just floated away and she fell asleep in his arms.


	6. Close But No Cigar

_Author's note: Well, I think if there was any doubt before, they're definitely in it now…_

 _This story is rated M for a reasons, folks._

 _Thank you for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting. Reviews really are appreciated, because I love to know what you think, honestly!_

 **Chapter 6 – Close But No Cigar**

Around dawn, Sasha eased herself carefully out of Tom's arms, trying not to wake him, and tiptoed to the bathroom. She winced at the sight of her face in the mirror, still blotchy from crying, her eyes bloodshot and puffy, and she filled her cupped hands with cold water and bathed her face until it looked a little better.

She snuck a glance through the half open door to check if Tom was still asleep, and smiled at the sight of him laying fully dressed on her bed. He'd rolled onto his back, one arm curled around his head, shielding his eyes from the weak sunlight as he slept on.

She'd cried, and told him her secret, and he'd held her and stayed. And she smiled at her reflection before sneaking back across the apartment and quickly removing her jeans and sweater, climbing back into bed in just her tshirt and panties.

She woke up again an hour later to Tom stroking her face.

"Morning." He smiled, and she smiled sleepily back at him, raising her face towards his without even thinking about it, and he answered with a slow, gentle kiss. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Better." She said simply, and he kissed her again, just a butterfly brush of his lips over hers.

"I am so sorry for what I said." He told her quietly, his hand still on her face, his thumb stroking along her cheekbone. "But I'm glad you told me what you did."

She reached out and walked her fingers up his arm, trying to find the right words, and settled on, "Thank you for staying."

"Of course." He smiled gently, and for a long moment they just looked at each other. "I have to get home, change, go to work." He said finally.

She nodded, and he kissed her once more, another slow, sweet kiss. But this time when he went to pull back, her hand on the back of his neck stopped him. He looked down into those brilliant blue eyes, and saw something there that made him smile, even as he shook his head.

"I have to go, Sash. I don't want to."

But she threaded her fingers into his hair and pulled his head down for another kiss, and this time she opened her mouth and he couldn't resist sliding his tongue inside to stroke against hers. She gave one of those little whimpers, and he clenched his fist around a handful of bedcover as he fought not to give in.

"Not like this." He murmured. "Not in a hurry. When we do this, I want to take my time."

She looked up at him and then nodded slowly, releasing her hand from his hair.

"You should come over tonight, have dinner with me and the kids." He said carefully.

He thought he might have pushed too far, but then she smiled, a big radiant Sasha smile, and he knew he hadn't. And then he just had to kiss her again.

She was under the blankets and he was on top of them, and he was also fully dressed, so it should have been safe to just kiss a little more, but he'd underestimated how much those little whimpers affected him, and how good her hair smelled, and how soft her skin was under his fingers when he stroked along her bare arm. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and nibbled his bottom lip, and he groaned into her mouth and reached for the edge of the blankets that were separating them, ready to yank them away so he could feel her body against his... And then his cell phone rang, and he was halfway between relieved and furious as he rose from the bed and answered.

Sasha's eyes stayed locked on Tom as he took the call. She sat up and watched him pace a little as he spoke to the person at the other end of the line, something to do with patrolling supply routes, and then she decided to do what she did best - take control. The next time he glanced over at her, she took a deep breath and lifted her tshirt over her head, dropping it on the floor. She watched Tom's eyes widen as he stared at her, sitting there in bed in just her bra, and then listened to him stumble over his words as he tried to end the call as swiftly as possible. He hung up without taking his eyes off her, and then punched a button to place another call.

"I'm not coming into the office this morning." He said to whoever was on the other end of the line. "I have something urgent to take care of at home."

There was obviously a degree of protest from his secretary, or whoever it was, but Sasha knelt up and let the covers fall away, so he could see her in her panties and bra, and the look on his face made her feel bold enough to reach behind her back and start undoing the bra.

"Take care of it." Tom snapped into the phone and hung up. "Sasha-" He groaned, half in protest, half in desire.

"We can still take it slow." She said softly, dropping her bra over the side of the bed, and watching him surrender. He smiled at her, that Tom smile that made her heart start racing.

"Not sure how slow I can manage." He said as he came back to the bed. "It's been a long time, and you look... Oh hell, Sasha, just look at you." He reached out a hand and gently traced it over her breast, and she gasped at the touch of his fingers. "Perfect." He murmured.

Leaning in, he kissed her slowly, still stroking her breast, and she started to undo his shirt buttons.

"Are you sure?" He asked, and something in his voice made her realise he was genuinely concerned.

"Yes." She pulled back just a little, just enough to look into his eyes. "I'm sure. Are you?"

"One hundred percent." His eyes softened, and he kissed her again, longer this time, deeper, and she finished unbuttoning his shirt and pushed it impatiently down his arms, making him chuckle a little.

Discarding the shirt, he stroked both hands up her arms, over her shoulders, then cupped her face and kissed her, slowly moving his hands down her neck, tracing her collarbones, lower, lower, until he was palming her breasts and making her whimper again.

"Perfect." He repeated, his thumbs tracing over hard nipples as she gasped and pressed into his touch.

In the past, sex between them had always been good, better than good, but it had also always been fiery, passionate, a fight for control. This was so different, Sasha thought, as Tom almost reverently lavished attention on her breasts, stroking and teasing, and when he finally lowered his head and took a nipple in his mouth, she cried out with the slow, exquisite torture of it all.

"We're just getting started." He murmured, moving his lips to her other breast, "I told you I wanted to take my time."

She traced her hands over his shoulders, the hard muscle of his back, as he continued to kiss and caress her breasts.

"Please, Tom." She whispered, pressing her thighs together to try to relieve the ache building between her legs.

"You never used to ask," He looked up at her, "You used to tell." And then he grinned, and she grabbed his hand and pushed it between her thighs, both of them groaning as his fingers touched the soaked fabric of her panties.

"Now!" She half begged, half ordered, and reached for his fly at the same moment his finger slipped under her panties to stroke gently through her folds. She threw her head back with a harsh gasp, her hands dropping to fist the bedcovers as she lifted her legs to help him drag down her panties.

Tom quickly shed the rest of his clothes, then gathered her up in his arms and kissed her slowly, sliding his hand back between her thighs, letting out a groan at the feeling of her hot and wet for him.

"Sasha..."

She forced her eyes open and looked up at him, trembling as he stroked her. "Tom..." Then she realised he was looking slightly worried.

"I don't have a condom." He murmured. "I wasn't expecting..."

She felt disappointment pierce her, even through the delicious sensations Tom was creating with his fingers.

"I don't either." She whispered, and at least he looked as disappointed as she felt.

His hand stilled between her thighs, and with a wry smile, he leaned in to kiss her. "It's okay."

She gasped as his fingers began to stroke her again, this time with purpose. She opened her legs wider in an unspoken request, and he slid two fingers into her, finding the exact spot that made her gasp and flood, almost as though he knew... And then she almost laughed at herself as she remembered that he did know, of course he knew, some things don't change, and then his thumb found her sweet spot as his fingers continued to stroke into her, and she couldn't think of anything at all except the pressure building, the exquisite feel of being touched so intimately by Tom Chandler, and then she came so hard that for a second she couldn't even breathe, let alone think, and then he was kissing her, and she was clinging to him, and when she opened her eyes, she saw so much in his that she almost wanted to close them again.

"Tonight," He said, "Tonight I'll have condoms."

Tom looked down at Sasha, her cheeks flushed pink, her hair tousled, her beautiful body held close against his, and felt disbelief that this was really happening. A feeling only enhanced when she pushed him onto his back and straddled his knees, shooting him a look of pure desire before lowering her head and taking him in her mouth.

"Sasha!" He gasped as she slid her mouth down his length, teasing him with her tongue, obviously remembering exactly what it took to drive him completely crazy. He tangled his fingers gently in her hair as she moved on him, and tried desperately not to give in to temptation and thrust up into her mouth.

She raised her head for just a second, "Don't hold back, Tom." She murmured, before taking him deep again, and this time he groaned and let go, let his hips move, and she made a satisfied sound and sucked him harder, and then it came on like a rush and he was crying out and shooting into her mouth.

"Sasha?" He reached out for her immediately, and she moved up the bed and let him pull her close, snuggling into his side. "I'm going to do that to you next." He murmured, and felt her smile against his shoulder. "Are you okay?" He found himself asking, raising his head a little to look at her.

She laughed softly and looked back at him. "I'm not sure okay quite covers it." And then she basked in that special Tom smile as it spread right across his face like the morning sun.


	7. There's No Place Like Home

_Author's note: And now back to Tex… For whom things are notably more straightforward than they are for Tom and Sasha!_

 _Once again, this story is rated M for a reason._

 _As always, thanks a million for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 7 - There's No Place Like Home**

Eight hours earlier, at around the same time Tom was holding Sasha through her tears, Tex was sharing his couch with Nina Callaghan.

"Your turn." Nina said.

She was sitting cross legged, her back resting against the arm of the sofa, and he'd angled his body to face her as well as he could without adopting the same position, which frankly he didn't have the flexibility for. There was no bourbon this time, in an unspoken agreement that passing out drunk wasn't the desired outcome tonight.

"Okay... Worst injury you ever got?" He asked.

"Got blown up by an IED in Iraq. Well, the vehicle I was in did. I got pretty shredded and I was deaf for a fortnight." She shrugged. "You?"

"Gunshot wound, nicked my femoral artery." He tapped his thigh. "I was minutes from death. Very dramatic."

"Nice. Worst thing you ever saw?"

He shuddered at the memory. "I was doing a job in the Balkans. There were mass graves. I thought I'd never get the smell off of me."

"That's rough." Nina reached out for the hand resting on his thigh and laced her fingers through his. "I saw one once, and that smell... Yeah, it doesn't leave you, does it?"

"Nope." He shook his head. "Was that your worst?"

"One of them." She paused for a second. "My mother killed herself. I found her. That was the worst."

"Jesus, Callaghan." He squeezed his fingers tight around hers.

"It was a long time ago. And it wasn't messy or anything, she overdosed, it was just... God, why am I telling you this stuff? I never tell anyone this stuff." She visibly shook it off. "Worst thing you ever did?"

"Killed people." He said shortly. "You?"

"Ditto." She replied, looking him right in the eye.

"Yeah?" He didn't feel particularly surprised; he already knew he and Nina were two of a kind.

"A guy tried to take my truck, in Russia. I shot him with his own gun. I didn't feel good about it."

"Well okay then."

"Does that-" She started.

"No, it doesn't bother me." He answered without waiting for her to finish. "That would make me a hypocrite. Plus, if you hadn't done that, you'd be dead. And that would bother me."

"Oh really?" She smiled just a little.

"Really." He affirmed, and then thought for a moment. "Best thing you ever did?"

"I reported on stuff that people needed to see. Once they see it, they can't ignore it. And that saves lives. Or at least I hope it does. You?"

"Kathleen. Without a doubt."

She smiled. "That's a really good one."

"You can meet her Thursday, when she gets home." He said, without thinking deeply about it, because somehow it felt inevitable.

"I'm looking forward to it." She was still smiling, and he smiled back.

"I like your smile, Callaghan."

"I like yours, Kansas." She shifted a little closer and flexed her fingers in his, locking their hands together.

"Can I ask you something?" He stretched his other arm along the back of the couch, his hand touching her hair.

"I thought that's what we were doing." She said, making a face at him.

"Have you cried yet?" He asked. "About all this, the apocalypse?"

She shook her head slowly.

"Me either." He confirmed, starting to play with the ends of her hair. "You think there's something wrong with us?"

She shook her head again and smiled slightly. "It's bound to catch up with us one day."

"I'd like to be there when that happens." He said, just because it was true.

Her expression was serious as she replied, "Ditto."

They were so close now, eyes locked, and it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"You know what's going on here?" He asked.

She laughed, "I haven't got a fucking clue, Kansas. But I think it's good."

"Me too darlin', me too." He leaned forward until their noses were almost touching. "This okay?"

"Oh yeah."

He kissed her, and this time he had the chance to make the most of it. He ran his hand up into her hair, cupping the back of her head while he explored her mouth with his tongue, and she wound her arms around his neck and pressed against him.

"Kansas," She said, when they had to pause for breath, "Your couch is seriously uncomfortable."

"What did you think of the bed?" He chanced, and she smiled.

They were laying on his bed, making out like teenagers, and Tex was loving every damn minute of it. He was touching Nina through her clothes, his thigh between hers creating just a little sweet friction, and her hands were in his hair, then on his back, and then under his shirt, her fingertips whispering over his skin. He smiled against her mouth and moved his own hand to her hip, then to the edge of her shirt, then his thumb touched her skin, and she suddenly froze up.

"What is it?" He drew back just a little.

"I have scars," She said softly. "You should probably know that before we..."

"I thought I did." He shot her a smile and she smiled back.

"Yeah, funny man. I mean real ones. On my skin. They're pretty bad."

"I don't care."

"You say that now..." She was still smiling, but he felt her hand start shaking on his back.

"Callaghan, I don't care. Your entire body could be covered in scales and I wouldn't care. Now c'mere." He took hold of the bottom of her tshirt and pulled it upwards, and she raised her arms and let him lift it over her head. "Well okay. Those are some scars." He traced a finger along a particularly thick scar that bisected her torso from her right hip to the underside of her left breast. "And I still don't care." He murmured, kissing her slowly and starting to undo her bra. He could feel more scar tissue on her back under his fingers, and he knew that at some point there would be more stories, and he'd listen, and he'd probably want to go kill the people responsible if the virus hadn't done that already, but right now Nina was half naked in his arms, and that was the focus of his attention.

"Your turn, Kansas." She said, pulling at his shirt, and he yanked it off over his head obligingly before pulling her closer and groaning at the feel of her bare skin against his as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her again.

"Damn you feel good, Callaghan." He said between kisses, "This is making me want to do dirty things to you..."

"Oh yeah?" Her hand was in the back pocket of his pants, pulling him into her as she panted and pressed against him. "What kind of dirty things?"

"This." He cupped her breast and lowered his mouth to kiss her there, teasing her nipple with his teeth as she hissed and threw her head back. "And this." He repeated his actions on her other breast. "And things that involve taking your pants off."

"Then take my pants off." She said, and he kissed her again before starting to pull down those tattered combat pants, and sure there were scars on her legs, but those legs were long and just about perfect, and her underwear was damp with arousal, and he could smell her, and she was quite possibly the best thing he'd ever smelled, and as soon as her pants hit the floor, his fingers were pulling aside her underwear and his tongue was meeting soft, wet flesh, and her hands were in his hair and she was mewling and gasping, and he was drowning in the taste of her flooding his mouth.

"Kansas! Oh god! Yes..." And then, "Not yet..."

He lifted his head and looked up at her questioningly.

"I don't want to come til you're inside me." She panted, her eyes meeting his, "Okay?" And he swallowed hard before he smiled.

"Sure, darlin'."

He kissed her belly button, and her scars, and her breast, and she tried to get his pants off while he was kissing her and taking off her underwear at the same time, and she laughed when she discovered that he didn't bother with underwear himself, and then they were kissing again and he was laying between her legs, and she was soft and wet and warm and he was hard as he'd ever been, and then he was pushing inside her and she was gasping in his ear and it might just have been the best thing he'd ever felt in his life, and he looked into her eyes, and the light in the room made one brown and one green, and he moved faster and she wrapped her legs and arms around him and made that mewling sound again, and he felt her start to tremble and then she gasped, and he felt her come right before he lost control and did the same.

They were laying in a tangle of limbs, his hands moving over her, stroking every bit of skin he could reach, and she was just looking at him, gazing at him, as he said, "Callaghan, I think I love you."

And she smiled, and said, "Okay, Kansas."

"I'm serious." He said softly.

She bit her lip before speaking. "You want to know why I call you Kansas? As opposed to any of the other forty nine states?"

"Sure." He half wanted to make a joke about North Dakota not having the same ring to it, but he held off.

"You ever see the Wizard of Oz?" She asked.

"Yeah…"

"Well, Kansas is the whole 'there's no place like home'." She said quietly, and he watched her bite her lip again before she added, "And as soon as you opened that door, I felt like I was home."


	8. Comings and Goings

_Author's note: Thank you for all the lovely reviews and comments, especially on the Tex/Nina subplot. After the way S3 ended, I felt like Tex in this universe needed some more screen time and a lot more fun!_

 _Thank you for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 8 – Comings and Goings**

Tom knocked on the door of Mike and Rachel's apartment, and then jumped as a loud groan emanated from the apartment opposite just as Mike opened his front door.

"What the-" Tom started.

He was interrupted by another noise, this time a distinctly female cry.

"Oh!" The penny dropped as Mike grimaced and ushered him inside. "Tex and Nina?!" He started to laugh, and Mike sniggered.

"As far as I can tell, nonstop for around seventeen hours at this point." Mike confirmed. "Assuming they were still at it while I was at headquarters."

"Whew. How's Rachel doing with that?"

"She put in earplugs and told me if I mentioned it, _we_ would never be doing it ever again. She's taken Jamie for a walk, it's unsettled him hearing someone scream louder than he does." He regarded Tom carefully. "So you're not actually sick then?"

"I had to help Sasha out with something." Tom replied, following Mike through to the kitchen.

"Oh yeah?" Mike raised an eyebrow.

"We had a fight. Kind of." Tom admitted, "And then we, ah, made up." He tried to keep the smile off his face, but he'd been failing to do that since finally leaving Sasha's apartment in the early afternoon.

Mike shook his head, "I'm half worried there's something going into the water supply." He muttered, before adding, "Well, do me a favour? Do your making up at her place. We've got enough noise coming from across the hall without you starting up above us as well." He put a mug of coffee down in front of Tom. "So what's going on? I'm not Rachel, I don't do gossip or advice or beating about the bush. And you don't drop in for coffee."

"You do gossip." Tom stated, and Mike smirked slightly.

"Only because it's my wife's favourite hobby. Now out with it!"

Tom was suddenly doubting the wisdom of making the request he'd only been fifty-fifty about in the first place. But then if he didn't, he wouldn't get to do the thing he really, really wanted to do with Sasha. He took a deep breath. "Okay. At the risk of sounding like a forty five year old frat boy, I need condoms. And the market and the drugstore are out."

Mike snorted with laughter. "Leaving aside the fact that I'll never let you forget this, you're shit out of luck here. Rachel gets a shot. Well, except when she forgets, and then we get a baby." He smirked. "I'd say ask Tex, but it sounds like he's on a one-man mission to create a world shortage. Guess you'll just have to keep it in your pants a while longer."

"Mike, come on!" Tom was laughing and cringing at the same time. "Don't make me remind you that you were the one pushing me to be with Sasha."

Mike shook his head, relenting. "It's a good thing. Just don't go at it all guns blazing, give it time."

"I thought you didn't do advice?"

"Fine. I do gossip, and I do advice. But I still don't beat about the bush."

Tom shot his best friend a grin, "One out of three ain't bad."

An hour later, Sasha was shaking slightly as she knocked on the door of Tom's apartment. It wasn't just the thought of seeing him again after a morning spent in bed together, it was the thought of formally meeting the kids, a family dinner. She wasn't familiar with that concept from her own childhood, let alone as an adult.

The door was flung open, and ten year old Sam Chandler was on the other side.

"Hi Lieutenant Cooper. Dad says you should come in and watch him burn dinner."

Sasha laughed as she followed him inside, immediately starting to relax a little. "Hi Sam. What is your dad burning?"

"Grandpa's stew. Grandpa is at his old codgers meeting."

"Sam, I told you not to call it that!" Tom was stirring something on the stove as Sam led Sasha into the open plan kitchen diner.

"Grandpa calls it that!" Sam protested.

Tom laughed and smiled at Sasha. "Okay, fair enough. Have you asked Sasha if she wants a drink?"

"Would you like a drink, Lieutenant Cooper?" Sam asked obediently.

"Yes please, Sam. Are you allowed to call me Sasha?" She shot a glance at Tom, and so did Sam.

"Of course you can, buddy." Tom affirmed. "Sasha, do you want beer? Or water? Or milk?"

She hesitated, because beer sounded really good, but she wanted to make the right impression. Tom obviously saw her indecision, as he turned to his son and said, "Would you get a beer for Sasha please, Sam?" And nodded to the bottle he was already drinking.

Sam obediently delivered a cold green bottle straight from the fridge, and Sasha thanked him.

"Aunt Rachel used to drink beer." Sam told her, "But now she's not allowed because it poisons her boo-"

"Enough, Sam!" But Sasha could see Tom was trying not to laugh. "Go fetch your sister, and wash your hands, it's time for dinner."

Sasha grinned at him as Sam left the room. "Where did he hear that one?"

Tom quickly walked around the counter, keeping one eye on the door. "Mike, I should imagine. We live on top of each other here, as you've no doubt noticed. I'd say it's like being on ship, but…"

He was in front of her now, and Sasha couldn't help but smile as he put his hands on her waist, drawing her against his body.

"I missed you this afternoon." He said softly, dropping a brief kiss on her mouth, his fingers squeezing her hips in a way that gave her a vivid flashback to their morning activities. "I-" Then he broke off abruptly at the sound of footsteps, and took a step back towards the stove, leaving her slightly open mouthed at his lightning fast switch back to parent mode.

Sam came through the door and posed importantly until the two adults turned and looked at him.

"Ashley says she isn't hungry and she doesn't want dinner." He announced.

"Excuse me a second." Tom looked a little grim. "Can you keep stirring this?" He requested, handing Sasha the wooden spoon.

Sam climbed onto a stool on the other side of the counter. "My sister is in trouble." He said in a singsong voice.

Sasha wasn't quite sure how to respond, so settled on just smiling slightly as she stirred the stew.

Sam continued, "She was already sent to her room, and now she won't come out. She's being dumb." Sasha tried to ignore a sinking feeling in her stomach, but Sam's next words made it impossible. "She's all, 'I don't want to meet your _friend_ , Dad' and Dad was-"

"Dad is here." Tom interrupted, returning with Ashley trailing behind him. "And so is Ashley, and it's time for dinner."

"Hi Ashley," Sasha tried, her stomach churning now. "Remember me?"

Ashley fixed her with a blank stare. "Hello Lieutenant Cooper." Her voice was as expressionless as her face.

"You can call me Sasha." She tried to keep smiling.

"No thank you, Lieutenant Cooper." Ashley responded.

After that, things only got worse. Ashley picked at her food and refused to acknowledge Sasha's presence, and since Sasha hadn't been around thirteen year old girls since she was one herself, she had no tools to break through the teenager's barriers. Tom and Sam managed to keep a conversation going with Sasha, but every time Tom turned to look at her, or smile at her, Sasha could see Ashley's face getting tighter and tighter.

"Did you have fun at the wedding Ashley?" Sasha asked at one point, in a last ditch attempt to engage.

"I liked being with my friends." Ashley shot a look at her father. "Especially as we didn't see my dad all day, or the next day, or the day after that. Or yesterday."

"You've seen me plenty, Ash." Tom said evenly.

"No, we've seen Grandpa, and you've been at work or with your 'friend'." Ashley put a lot of emphasis on the word, and stared pointedly at Sasha, who was wondering how she, an officer who had been in countless life threatening situations, could be so floored by a teenage girl.

"Well, I'm here now." Tom said, but then he made the mistake of smiling at Sasha, and Ashley looked like she was about to explode.

They made it through dinner, and then Sam suggested they play a board game. Sasha was touched when he insisted on teaming up with her, but less so when Ashley then curled up with Tom and proceeded to act more like a seven-year-old, demanding attention and cuddles. When Jed arrived home, Sasha felt a flood of relief at having an excuse to escape, then a kind of hollow dread at her own reaction.

"Okay, must be time for me to head home." She said, in a bright voice that sounded jarring even to her. "Thank you for dinner."

Sam gave her a hug, which was bittersweet under the circumstances, and Tom showed her to the door, reaching for his jacket from the coatrack.

"I'll walk you home. Dad's happy to stay with the kids-" He dropped his voice, "-tonight."

She looked into those promise-filled eyes and steeled herself. "It's okay, Tom. You stay here, it's obvious the kids have missed you the last few days."

"But-" He glanced over his shoulder at Ashley watching them and lowered his voice again, "We have things to do. And I'll be back here for breakfast with them, of course."

His smile almost made her crack, but it only took one look at Ashley to steady her resolve. "Call me in the morning." She said softly. "We'll work something out."

The disappointment almost made her buckle as she left the apartment, and once she reached the relative safety of the floor below, she sank down onto the bottom step and dropped her head into her hands. She only meant it to be for a moment, but then a familiar voice said, "You look like a woman in dire need of a cup of tea."

And Sasha looked up to see Rachel Slattery, garbage bag in hand, standing above her.


	9. Risk and Reward

_Author's note: Oh, it's all two steps forward, one step back for these two, isn't it?! I must confess, I was writing the end of this chapter on the train home last night, and got so engrossed I missed my station, so I hope it was worth it…_

 _Thank you, as always, for the scary number of reads, the lovely favourites and follows, and most of all the funny, touching, blush-making and hugely appreciated reviews!_

 **Chapter 9 - Risk and Reward**

Sasha stared up at Rachel, feeling torn. On the one hand, having someone to talk to about Tom might be just what she needed. On the other, Rachel was the woman Tom had been in (admittedly unrequited) love with until rather too recently, not to mention an avid gossip.

"Come on." Rachel opened the garbage chute on the wall and dropped the bulging sack inside. "Mike's running a night exercise with the recruits, so you can be assured of no sarcastic commentary."

Sasha hesitated, and in that moment the door to Tex's apartment half opened and Nina was standing in the gap, wrapped in a towel that barely protected her modesty and exposed almost all of her tattoos.

"Rach? I heard your voice. Everything okay?"

Both Sasha and Rachel just looked at her for a moment, taking in the tousled red hair, smudged mascara, and general air of ecstatic dishevelment.

"Not as okay as you, I imagine." Rachel said primly. "Judging by the noises coming out of there over the past twenty four hours."

"Oh, well, yeah." Nina looked like she was trying not to smile, but she lost the battle as a grin spread over her face. "It's been a very good day." She paused, "What are you two doing out here?"

"We were about to go in and have tea, making the most of the current absence of moans and groans coming from your apartment." Rachel's tone was still prim, but Sasha could see she was really trying not to laugh.

"Well, we'll try and keep it down for you." Nina started to laugh, and Rachel gave in and did the same.

"Seriously, Nina?!"

"Rach, what can I say?" Nina spread her hands, looking genuinely helpless. "That man in there..." She glanced over her shoulder and grinned.

"Callaghan! Where are you?" Tex's voice sounded from somewhere inside, getting closer as he continued, "Come back here." His head popped up over Nina's shoulder and his arms wrapped around her waist. "Ladies." He acknowledged Rachel and Sasha politely, then firmly pulled Nina backwards into the apartment, the door slamming on her shriek of laughter just as it turned into a moan of pleasure.

Rachel looked at the door, then at Sasha, then burst into incredulous laughter, shaking her head.

"That happen a lot?" Sasha asked.

"She never does this." Rachel replied, "Literally never. And nor does he. That's the only reason I'm not banging on the door every five minutes to shut them up." She paused, "Anyway, enough about what's going on in there. Come inside and talk to me."

"Is the baby asleep?" Sasha asked, leaning on the kitchen counter as Rachel made tea.

"He is, and he generally stays that way at night now, thank god. The first few months were awful, I thought I'd lose my mind at points."

"But he's worth it?" Sasha realised her voice must have betrayed something, since Rachel looked at her carefully as she replied.

"Absolutely. But that doesn't mean it's not hard. People don't say that enough, in my opinion."

"And Mike helps?"

"Mike's wonderful." Rachel's eyes softened. "I'm very lucky." She looked at Sasha again, and for a disconcerting moment the intelligence officer felt as though Rachel could see right through her. "People don't always understand it, Mike and I. But that's because some people mistake how we present ourselves on the outside for who we are on the inside," She poured the tea into two mugs, "Which is never quite the same thing, is it?"

Sasha took a mug and sipped, really wanting to talk, but still cautious.

"I know I gossip." Rachel said bluntly, "But I also keep secrets. And I would never share anything that could hurt a friend."

"Isn't that kind of a contradiction?" Sasha asked.

"I'm a scientist. I like logic and order, but I also appreciate that everything is really just chaos. Tom and I used to clash frequently," She paused for a sip of tea, "Because he wants the world to be black and white, and I only see shades of grey."

Sasha smiled reluctantly, "That drives me crazy. That side of him."

"Is that why you were sitting on the stairs?"

"No." Sasha sighed and gave in, because God knows she needed to talk to someone, and it felt like Rachel just might get it. "It's why we had a fight last night, but we moved on from that. Tonight... Tonight was me being around the kids. It's a big deal. It feels like a big deal, anyway. But we weren't telling them anything, it's not like that, I don't even know where we're going yet, I mean I hope-"

"Sasha," Rachel interrupted gently, "What happened tonight?"

"Ashley hates me." Sasha said bluntly, and it was strangely satisfying to say it. "She made it very clear."

Rachel bit her lip. "Ah."

"And she doesn't even know that I'm more than Tom's friend-"

"She knows." Rachel disagreed. "Trust me. I was a teenage girl with a widowed father, and although he wasn't actually interested in ever remarrying, I could smell it a mile off when a woman was interested in him."

"Oh god." Sasha dropped her head into her hands. "It's been hard enough convincing Tom to let me anywhere near them, without this."

"He's overprotective." Rachel's voice was gentle, "The children have been through a lot, and so has he. But he does want you in their lives, or else why invite you over in the first place?"

Sasha raised her head slowly and met Rachel's eyes. "I know. But on the James, he was so in control, and sometimes he still is, but then sometimes... I never quite know where I am with him. And I guess that would have been exciting before, but now-" She broke off, almost afraid to say what she was thinking.

"You wonder if it's too difficult, and if it would be easier just being alone and only having yourself to worry about." Rachel said. "Which given the state of the world, and the scale of loss we've all experienced, would be perfectly understandable." She paused for a second. "And I can only speak from my own experience, but the risk is worth it."

Sasha sighed and took another gulp of tea, her head fighting her heart. "I think-"

A thin wail interrupted her, and Rachel smiled and sighed at the same time. "I tempted fate saying he'd sleep through. I'll be back in a minute."

Sasha rested her chin in her hand and scanned the kitchen while she waited for Rachel to return. Like everyone's accommodation these days, it was functional and lacking in adornment, but there was a warmth about it. She smiled as she saw the pictures of Jamie on the fridge, alongside a picture of Rachel and Mike that must have been taken the day the James arrived in St Louis. They were captured smiling at each other, and the looks on their faces made her well up.

"Are you alright?" Rachel was back, Jamie in her arms. "This one is in a strop, so if you need a good cry you'll have company."

Sasha managed to laugh and blink back her nascent tears. "It's hard." She said quietly. "Finding a way forward. After everything."

Rachel hesitated, "Can I ask why you broke up before?"

"I was twenty three and he was thirty. He wanted to settle down and have a family, and I didn't. It wasn't horrible, we'd both always been honest, it was just sad, really."

Jamie was grizzling, and then let out another wail. "Sorry!" Rachel said, raising her voice over the noise as she tried to shush him.

"I should go." Sasha reached out and touched Jamie's head gently. "Let you be a mom."

"You don't have to." But Jamie was screaming louder now. "We need to go out soon, talk more." Rachel said.

"I'd really like that." Sasha replied, and realised that she meant it.

She walked the direct route home, because there was no reason to take the long way round, and she didn't want any more reminders of Tom right now. Their morning in bed had been so intimate, so comfortable, and yet now here she was again, alone and confused over it all, and in all honesty, kicking herself for not letting Tom come home with her, because even if it all went wrong, even if they both got burned, somehow with every step she took, she was more and more sure that Rachel was right, and it would be worth it.

Tom was sitting on the steps of her building, waiting for her.

"You walked the long way?" He asked, standing up as she approached.

Sasha didn't say anything at all, so he continued.

"Ashley was horrible, her behaviour... I'm so sorry. I let her get away with more than I should. I'll talk to her, I promise." She was still just staring at him. "Sam thinks you're awesome though, those exact words - 'Sasha is awesome'." He swallowed. She still wasn't speaking. "I told him I think you're awesome too."

She finally spoke. "You're here." She said, in a voice that made his chest tighten. And then she threw herself into his arms and kissed him with such force that they nearly fell backwards into the building.

The stairs were a blur, he was half carrying her, their lips locked together, her hands already under his clothes, and his gripping her ass. They crashed through the door of her apartment and he had her jacket and shirt off in seconds, greedy to feel her skin, as she tore at his sweater, his tshirt, her fingers fumbling with his belt. He picked her up and slammed her against the wall, a repeat of the other night, thrusting his tongue into her mouth and his hand down the back of her jeans as she whimpered and tilted her hips to rub against his hardness. He tried to undo her bra one handed, and succeeded in tearing through the fabric instead.

"Doesn't matter!" She gasped, as she slid back to the floor and pulled the remains of the bra off, immediately pressing herself back against him so she could feel the hard muscle of his chest against her bare breasts. His groan at the sensation made her whimper almost as much as the feel of his hands shoving her jeans down over her hips, his hand palming her ass.

"Sash, I want you-" He was pushing the jeans down further, taking her underwear with them, and she toed off her boots, hopping on one foot as he held her steady, his lips finding her neck, her shoulder, and then her breast as he crouched to quickly remove his own boots. She felt his warm breath ghost over her stomach, and then lower, and then just the lightest touch of his tongue, just for a moment, right there, between her legs…

"Need you!" She demanded, swaying on her feet as he impatiently kicked off his pants and boxers and pulled her back into his arms, lifting her, letting her feel him pressed against the whole length of her body, skin to skin, warm and firm and full of intent.

Suddenly they were on the bed, kissing and grabbing at each other, and she was opening her legs for him, and he was just about to push inside her, and then he remembered.

"Fuck! I didn't get-"

"Bedside table!" She panted, gesturing to a small blue box, and Tom offered up a silent prayer of thanks as he grabbed a condom.

"Come on!" She moaned, and he looked down into those blue eyes, swallowed hard, and thrust into her in one swift motion.

He felt the same, she thought, through the swirl of sensation and desire as he started to move inside her, deep and hard. He felt exactly the same, and he felt so good, so incredibly good...

"Yes!" She moaned, and he kissed her hard in reply.

Being inside Sasha was exactly how he remembered it, and she was making those familiar whimpering sounds, and she was so hot and slick and completely perfect, and he knew he was going to last no time at all, because it felt like he'd been waiting forever for this, like the last six months or more had always been leading to this.

"Sash... Now... Please..." And he felt her arch and heard her throaty cry as she squeezed tight around him and then he let go and almost saw stars as he exploded inside her.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked softly, laying in the circle of his arm, and he smiled slightly and stroked his hand along her side, tracing the dip of her waist.

"You. What are you thinking about?"

"Ice cream." She replied honestly, and he started to laugh.

"I forgot that! Other people crave cigarettes after sex, you crave ice cream. You're a unique woman, Sasha Cooper." His eyes softened and she felt her breath catch. "In more ways than one." He added.


	10. Good Morning

_Author's note: This chapter is a little interlude really, I just liked the idea! Plus, I missed Mike and Rachel a little bit._

 _Please keep reading, reviewing, following and favouriting, this writer is a praise junkie._

 **Chapter 10 - Good Morning**

"Dad?!"

Tex blinked into wakefulness, registering first the warmth of Nina's skin against his own, then the open bedroom door, and then his fifteen year old daughter staring down at him with an expression of total disbelief.

"Kat!" He quickly dragged the blankets up to cover both himself and Nina, who was blinking in confusion.

"What the- Kansas?" Her eyes finally focussed on the figure at the end of the bed, and she bit her lip. "Oh..."

"Dad?" Kathleen said again, but there was less shock in her voice now. "Want to tell me what happened to the apartment?"

"Uh..." Tex finally got himself together, kind of. "Honey, this is Ca- Nina. She's, ah, a friend of Rachel's, and we, ah…"

"Hi." Nina gave a sort of wave, clutching the blankets to her chest with her other hand. "I've been, er, looking forward to meeting you." She gave Tex an agonised glance.

Kat was still staring at them both, her mouth trembling. Then a snorting noise emerged, and she started to laugh.

"Dad! Seriously! Have you seen this place?" She was laughing really hard now, and Nina started to snigger, and Tex overcame his shock and started to laugh himself.

"Just tell me you didn't do it in my bed?!" Kat pleaded through her laughter.

 _Meanwhile, a few blocks away..._

Something was falling on her face, Sasha thought, half awake. Rain, or maybe… snow? But wasn't it the wrong time of year for snow? She blinked her eyes open and realised it was Tom dropping feather light kisses on her cheekbone, her temple, the edge of her mouth.

"Morning, Sash." He murmured, smiling as she blinked up at him and brushing another kiss over her lips. "Last night was…" He stroked her cheek.

"It was." She agreed, her voice a little croaky from sleep, stretching and feeling a slight ache that made her smile.

"I do have to go to work today." He said softly, "But not just yet."

And she smiled and wound her arms around his neck, and pulled his head down for another kiss, a deeper one this time, a kiss filled with purpose and promise.

 _Meanwhile, at Mike and Rachel's..._

Mike let himself into the apartment and immediately started to take off his mud caked BDUs.

"Fucking recruits." He muttered as he gathered the clothing up into a bundle and carried it through to the kitchen, treading lightly to avoid waking Rachel and Jamie. It was bad enough supervising night exercises, without getting knocked into a ditch by some seventeen year old idiot kid who couldn't watch where he was going. He dumped the clothes on the floor by the washing machine, and padded into the bedroom, expecting to find Rachel asleep. Instead she was sitting on the bed, looking slightly wild around the eyes, Jamie in her arms.

"Shh!" She hissed. "I literally just got him to sleep."

"How long was he awake?" He whispered back.

"Since last night! He hasn't slept, at all. And neither have I."

He rubbed a hand over his hair, then cursed when it came away dusted with dried mud. At the same moment, Jamie woke and started to cry again.

Mike looked down at his hand, then at his wife, then at their son. Rachel looked back at him, her expression halfway between laughter and tears.

"I spent last night convincing Sasha that all this is worth it." She said. "This morning, I'm having a minor wobble. I mean, I know we did all this backwards, and I know the world almost ended, but we just got married and-"

"Okay, enough." He leaned down and took Jamie from her. "I'll be right back."

Still wearing only his boxer shorts, he walked out the front door and across the hallway to bang on Tex's door. The contractor opened it after a couple of minutes, looking dishevelled and confused.

"XO?"

"It's been your turn for two straight days, even Tom is getting some, and this is supposed to be my goddamn honeymoon." Mike thrust Jamie into Tex's arms. "So hold this, I'll be back in an hour. Or two. Maybe three."

And he stalked back across the hallway and into his apartment, letting the door slam behind him as he swept down the corridor and into the bedroom, grabbed Rachel, lifted her into his arms, and kissed her.

"Come on Mrs Slattery, let's make some noise." He kissed her again as she smiled up at him. "And then let's get some sleep." He paused and thought for a second, "Or maybe the other way around." He conceded.


	11. Girls Night Out

_Author's note: This is a night out I would really love to be a part of…_

 _Thank you for reading, following, favouriting, and especially reviewing. Even if you just say 'nice' or 'thanks', it means a lot._

 **Chapter 11 - Girls Night Out**

"This," said Rachel with satisfaction. "This is what the world has been missing." She took a huge gulp of whiskey.

"And by the world, you mean you." Nina grinned and raised her glass to Rachel, as Sasha scanned the room again.

The first bar to reopen in St Louis wasn't quite a dive bar - the owner had had to fight long and hard for a licence after all - but it wasn't far off. The liquor selection was unsurprisingly small, and there was a nominal three drink limit, but nonetheless, it was a bar, and these days that was a novelty in itself.

"It'll be a girls night out!" Rachel had said to Sasha on the phone a week ago, the afternoon after Tom had spent the night and put a smile on her face that had lasted for days. "Of course I've never actually been on one, but I'm pretty sure that's what they call it."

"They do." Sasha had affirmed, though she'd never been on one either.

Nor, as it turned out, had Nina. "Unless you count sheltering from mortar fire in an apartment with two other women for a very tense night. Could have used a drink then, that's for sure."

And so here they were, two drinks in, wearing their least ragged pairs of jeans, and almost oblivious to the amount of stares they were getting.

"I'm still amazed you managed to drag yourself out of bed." Rachel commented to Nina. "I mean, the noise level has dropped a fraction, but still..."

Nina grinned wickedly. "What can I say? The man has skills."

Sasha laughed quietly into her drink.

"You're no better." Rachel turned to her. "According to my sources, Tom's practically living at your place."

"Three nights in over a week." Sasha protested. "He has the kids." But she couldn't help smiling.

Rachel shook her head, but Nina raised an eyebrow.

"Let us not forget the morning that your husband came and handed your baby off to Kansas so you two could get some!"

Rachel smirked, "Oh, I'm not forgetting that morning at all." She laughed, "Mike has a theory that the government are putting something in the water supply to make us all jump each other and repopulate the planet. However," She continued as Nina and Sasha laughed incredulously, "I pointed out that if that were the case, I'd be the scientist they'd come to, and that course of action definitely wouldn't pass an ethics review."

"I have absolutely no plans to repopulate anything." Nina said, draining her glass. "Kansas and I are strictly doing it for fun."

"Bollocks!" Rachel protested. "You love him!" She said it in the singsong tones of a taunting seven year old.

"Yes I do." Nina replied calmly. "The two aren't mutually exclusive."

Rachel's mouth had dropped open slightly, and Sasha found her own eyebrows creeping upwards in surprise.

"You do? Love him?" Rachel checked.

"With every fibre of my being, Rach." Her voice was still perfectly calm. "Now what are we drinking? More whiskey? It's my round."

"Wait - and he loves you too?"

"You mean he hasn't told you?" Nina sounded sceptical now, "You two tell each other everything, you're like a pair of fourteen year old girls."

"Yes, he did, but I thought he was just... being Tex."

"I suppose he was," She smiled slightly, "But he does, all the same."

"What about Kat?" Sasha found herself asking, flashing to Ashley, the set little face and the radiant hostility. For a moment she fiercely envied Nina's calm certainty about her relationship.

"Kat's great." Nina's smile widened. "She mainly finds it funny."

"But she likes you?" Sasha pressed.

"I have tattoos, a cool job, and no homemaking skills. She's a teenage girl; of course she likes me."

"But I have all of those, and Ashley hates me!"

Nina looked sympathetic. "We definitely need more drinks." She squeezed Sasha's shoulder and headed to the bar.

"She still hates you?" Rachel asked, slurping the last of her drink.

"We tried dinner again. Tom gave her a talking to beforehand, and she wasn't actively rude to me, but she still sat there looking like it was all torture, and glaring at Sam every time he spoke to me." Sasha sighed. "I have no idea how to deal with her."

Nina returned and set drinks in front of them.

"So you have a tattoo?" She asked Sasha, "Because I could have sworn that's what you just said."

Sasha nodded. "I do. Just one."

"Funny." Rachel was leaning heavily on one elbow as she took a gulp of her drink. "Tom has one too, doesn't he?" She hiccupped slightly.

"You okay Rach?" Nina asked, ducking her head a little to look into her face.

"Mmm hmm." Rachel's eyelids were drooping.

"Mama's first night out." Nina carefully moved the glass out of Rachel's reach and handed her a bottle of water from her bag instead. "Have some water." She turned back to Sasha. "So Tom has a tattoo, huh? Doesn't seem the type."

"It wasn't exactly his idea." Sasha let her mind drift back. "I persuaded him. It seemed kind of funny at the time."

"Now I'm intrigued." Nina said. "Show me yours?"

"In here? No." Sasha looked around again. "In the bathroom, maybe. It's on my hip." She clarified.

"What is it?"

"An anchor. A little predictable, I guess, but I was young and drunk and excited to be in the Navy."

"I only have drunkenness as an excuse for maybe half of mine." Nina grinned. "But I love them all." She turned to check on Rachel, who was sipping water slightly blearily. "You got any tattoos since I last saw you, Rach?"

Rachel shook her head. "I want to know if it's true about Tom." She said, turning her gaze on Sasha and starting to giggle. "Mike says he has an anchor tattooed on his bum!"

Sasha's snort of laughter gave it away before she nodded. "Pretty much. He was really drunk."

"Same design as yours?" Nina asked shrewdly, and Sasha nodded again. "Nice. As it turns out, Kansas and I have one in common. But then we have so much in common it's hardly a surprise."

Her face softens when she talks about him, Sasha thought. Does mine do that when I talk about Tom?

Nina turned her left forearm to show a compass rose tattoo. "He has one too, on his back. Same same but different." She looked over at Rachel again, who looked almost asleep. "I think we should get you home, mama."

They walked back to what Sasha always thought of as Tom's building, even though it housed Mike, Rachel, Tex, and now Nina, too. By the time they were walking up the stairs, she and Nina were almost carrying Rachel in between them.

Nina banged on the door to summon Mike, who took one look at his wife and started laughing.

"Come here sweetheart." He enfolded her in his arms. "You never could handle your drink. You ladies have a good time?" He asked, over Rachel's head.

"Absolutely." Nina replied, and Sasha nodded.

"Looks like it." He looked down at Rachel, who had snuggled into his chest. "Guess I'd better put my wife to bed."

As the door shut, Nina turned to Sasha.

"It was a good time, wasn't it?"

"It was." Sasha agreed.

"We should do it again. Maybe without the alcohol next time." She laughed slightly. "And you know, if you ever want to talk about the devil child..."

It was Sasha's turn to laugh. "I might take you up on that."

The door of Tex's apartment opened, and he looked out at them.

"You're home early."

"Rachel can't handle her booze." Nina said, and they smiled at each other, suddenly making Sasha feel superfluous.

"You want to come in for a drink?" Tex offered her, but his eyes slid back to Nina.

"No, no. I'm going to go upstairs and see Tom."

"Okay then." Tex's eyes were still on Nina, and hers were locked on him, a wicked kind of smile dawning on her face.

She tore her eyes away and turned to Sasha. "Night, Sasha." She leaned in and gave her a quick hug before turning her attention back to Tex as she vanished into the apartment.

Sasha stood for a moment and just breathed. She hadn't planned to see Tom, and she knew she couldn't really go up to his place; not with Ashley glowering and Sam being so sweet it made her want to cry, and Jed watching it all with that look that was half knowing, half indulgent. But at the same time, she fiercely wanted to see him.

She took out her cellphone and texted him.

 _Can you sneak out?_

Then she grinned to herself as she received an instant reply.

 _Where are you?_

 _Downstairs_

It was only seconds before she heard feet on the stairs, and Tom appeared.

"This is a nice surprise." He glanced around and back up the stairs before leaning in for a kiss. "I thought tonight was girls' night?"

"It was." She slid her hand from his waist to his back pocket, pulling him into her. "But now it's over." She looked up at him, letting her gaze linger on his mouth. "And I thought you might want to come out to play."

He slid his hands around her waist, keeping her close. "I wish I could," He said, his lips grazing hers. "But Dad's out."

She felt a familiar stab of disappointment. "And I can't come up there." It wasn't a question, they both knew it was true, but Tom pulled her in for another kiss. "We could go somewhere else?" She murmured.

"I can't leave the building." He sounded as frustrated as she felt. Whatever time they managed to carve out between work, and the children, and everything else that was going on, it was never enough.

"Is there a janitor's closet?" She was only half joking, the touch of his body against hers overriding any sense of decorum.

"Sash..." His tone was half longing, half disapproving.

"Remember the laundry room in the barracks? Back in the day?" She asked, the memory flashing through her head, and watched Tom's pupils dilate as he obviously had the same thought.

"There's a storeroom in the basement." He murmured.

It was like being twenty one again, Sasha thought as they ran hand in hand down the stairs to the basement, fighting laughter. Hot, kind of forbidden, secret and oh so alluring. Tom guided her into the storeroom, and she used a pen torch from her bag to provide a little light. It smelt musty, and there was no furniture amongst the boxes, just a washer dryer that had presumably broken down.

Tom visibly hesitated. "Maybe this is a bad idea?"

Sasha felt torn between desire for Tom and a desire to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. They were two grown adults, with two perfectly decent apartments between them, and yet they were reduced to seeking a moment of solitude in a place like this.

"Blame the whiskey," She murmured, half to herself, and then grabbed Tom, winding her arms around his neck and pressing her body tight against his.

She kissed him hard as she backed up against the wall, hooking her fingers into his belt to bring him with her, deliberately parting her legs a little so she could feel him growing hard against her. She'd always been able to do this to him, to make him surrender to her.

"Sash..." He was kissing her neck, grazing her with his teeth, making her whimper as his hand found her breast, squeezing and kneading as his lips explored the sensitive skin of her throat.

She started unbuckling his belt, making room for her to slide a hand inside his pants and feel how hard he was for her, wrapping her fist around him as he groaned and found her mouth with his.

Without warning he dropped to his knees and she gasped as his fingers hooked into the waistband of her jeans and underwear and yanked them down. She impatiently shook one foot free, just as he lifted her leg onto his shoulder. He looked up and gave her a knowing smile before plunging his tongue between her thighs, seeking out her wetness, eliciting a cry that echoed around the empty room.

She clutched his head to her, panting as she writhed under his tongue. It felt so good, so illicit, so incredibly arousing... And then she cried out again as he closed his lips around her sweet spot and made her come apart.

His mouth met hers in a hungry kiss, and she could taste herself as he lifted her in his arms, pressing her harder against the wall, his pants and boxers dropping to his ankles as he thrust inside her.

"Tom!" She half shouted as he began to move, his hands tight on her ass, his thrusts deep and hard, his breath hot against her neck. She'd always loved it like this, rough and fast and desperate, and he knew it. She clenched around him, feeling herself rushing towards the edge again, and just as she catapulted over, she felt him pull out with a curse, then a hot splash on her thigh.

"Sorry," He panted, "Unprepared again." And she found herself collapsing into breathless laughter.

"I wish you could come upstairs and sleep with me." He told her as they stood in the lobby ten minutes later. "As much fun as that was," He smiled, "I'm going to miss waking up with you."

She leaned into him for a moment, letting him brush his lips against her forehead. "Me too." She admitted.

"We'll work this out, I promise." His face radiated sincerity.

"I know." But even as he kissed her goodbye, she wasn't completely sure she believed it.


	12. In Love and War

_Author's note: So we know a lot about how Sasha's feeling at the moment, but how about Tom..?_

 _Thank you for all of the reviews I've received lately, both from regular reviewers and those who are reviewing for the first time. It really means a lot, and it does help me to push on with the story, even when I hit a bump in the road!_

 **Chapter 12 - In Love and War**

Tom walked upstairs slowly, his head reeling and his legs still shaking slightly. He hesitated for a second outside Mike and Rachel's door, but even if Mike was awake, what would he say to him?

 _I just had sex with Sasha in the basement store room, and I'm kind of confused. Oh, and please don't tell your wife, because she'll tell every other living person on the planet._

No, he decided, continuing up the final flight of stairs to the apartment he shared with his children and his father, this was one he was going to have to figure out on his own.

The thing was, he reflected, as he sat on the couch staring at the cup of coffee he'd abandoned as soon as he'd received Sasha's text, they had so much history. The Tom Chandler who had just impulsively screwed Sasha up against the wall wasn't CNO Captain Tom Chandler, forty five year old widower and father of two. No, it was twenty eight year old Lieutenant Tom Chandler, falling hard for a girl for the first time, a girl just as gung ho and badass as he was, and taking every risk in the book because he felt like he could.

"The last dregs of my rebellious youth." He muttered under his breath. And yet he couldn't deny that in the moment, it had felt damn good.

But neither of them were those people any more. Sasha had lost a husband, a baby, her plans for a family. He'd lost Darien, and so much more with her. The crew of the James had saved the world, perhaps, but at such devastating cost. None of them were without scars. And although he'd promised her that they'd work it out - and he really wanted to - he was secretly worried that between them, he and Sasha had too much history, too many scars, to be able to make that happen.

He picked up his cellphone and brought up Sasha's number, his thumb hovering over the call button. But even if he called her, what would he say? _I'm not twenty eight any more?_ Well, she knew that. _I want you in my bed, not up against a wall?_ She knew that too, or at least he hoped she did. Of course, there was something else he could say to her… _I think I'm falling-_

"Daddy?"

His train of thought abruptly broken, he turned to see Ashley standing in the doorway in her pyjamas. "You okay honey?"

"Can't sleep." Her tone was a little whiny, and he sighed internally. Lately she seemed to seesaw between acting like the worst kind of teenager, and acting like a pre-schooler.

"You want something to drink?" He offered.

She shook her head and came and sat next to him on the couch, nestling close as he put his arm around her.

"Where did you go?" She asked, and his heart sank.

"I went downstairs to borrow something from Uncle Mike and Aunt Rachel." He lied.

"Oh good." She snuggled closer. "Aunt Rachel is the best!"

"Oh yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah!" Ashley said enthusiastically, "She's really smart, and brave, and she's sooo pretty! And," Ash continued, "She's friends with Nina, and Nina is the coolest! She's going to get Kat a tattoo for her birthday!"

"She is?!" He couldn't help asking.

"Yeah, Tex said it was okay. Kat's going to join the service as soon as she can, only she's not going into the Navy, she wants to be a Marine!"

He grinned at the thought, "She'd make a good one."

Ash smiled up at him. "Maybe I'll join the Navy, like you."

"You can if you want to honey, when you're old enough." He said carefully. "Kat's a little older than you, remember."

"Or maybe I'll be a doctor like Aunt Rachel. Or a journalist like Nina."

"You know, Sasha is in the Navy, she works in intelligence…" He trailed off at the look on Ashley's face.

"That's boring." She snapped. "I want to do something cool."

"Ash-" His tone was a warning, but she ploughed on regardless.

"Lieutenant Cooper isn't cool, she's annoying and her hair looks plastic."

"What?!" He had to work hard to suppress a laugh, even though he was angry with her.

"It's so perfect all the time. Like on a lego figure." Ash gave him a winning smile. "Don't you think, Dad?"

"No, Ash I don't." He said firmly. "I like Sasha. I like her a lot. And we've had this conversation. Sasha is my friend, and I want you to get to know her-"

"I don't want to!" She flung herself away from him. "I hate her!" She fixed him with a cold stare. "And mom would hate her too!" She added, before storming out of the room and into her bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Tom dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his face. Then he looked over at the picture of Darien on the mantle.

"Would you hate Sasha?" He asked softly, and then shook his head; of course she wouldn't. When they'd first been together, he'd told Darien enough about Sasha to be confident of that.

He picked up his cellphone again, weighing it in his hand, but didn't call Sasha, not least because he knew Ashley would be listening. Instead he sighed heavily and went to bed.

He woke up with an idea, and after checking that the kids had what they needed for breakfast, he went downstairs and knocked on Mike and Rachel's door.

"What?" Mike demanded shortly as he flung the door open, and Tom held his hands up.

"I was looking for Rachel... Bad time?"

"First half of the night Rachel was puking, second half Jamie was crying. I'm going to work." He pushed past Tom and headed down the stairs.

"Don't mind him." Rachel looked pale as she came to the door. "It's all a bit relentless at the moment. Do you want tea?"

"Coffee?" He asked hopefully, and she nodded.

"We have to be quiet, I'm trying to let Jamie sleep. Not least because his crying is going right through my head this morning."

He gave her a sympathetic look. "I'll make your tea."

Rachel sat up at the kitchen counter and watched him prepare tea for her, and coffee for himself, and smiled slightly. After spending time with Sasha lately, she had a funny feeling she knew what Tom wanted to talk about. She just wished her head wasn't pounding quite so much.

"Ashley really looks up to you." He said, handing her a cup of tea. "She thinks you're awesome. And I was hoping that maybe you could talk to her about Sasha-"

Rachel was shaking her head before he'd even finished speaking. "It's not that I wouldn't try, but you can't order her to like Sasha, and nor can I. She has to get there on her own."

"But how, when she refuses to even speak to her?"

"Oh god, I don't know." Rachel sighed. "My parenting skills only extend as far as feeding and nappy changing at this point."

Tom managed a half smile, and then found himself saying the words he usually tried hard to avoid, "It's contradictory but… I miss Darien." He swallowed. "She always knew what to say to Ash."

Rachel reached out and put a hand over his. "Ash misses her too. That's what this is about. She thinks you're trying to replace her with Sasha." She paused. "I was an absolute bitch to any woman who came within six feet of my father when I was that age. And he wasn't actually interested in any of them. She's grieving and jealous-"

He opened his mouth to speak but she held up a hand.

"-and you feel guilty and stuck in the middle."

To his surprise and shame, he felt tears prickle his eyes, and Rachel squeezed his hand.

"You're being too bloody hard on yourself, Tom." She said. "And without betraying a confidence, so is Sasha."

"So what do I do?" He asked.

"Take it slow, especially with the kids. You're lucky, you have a whole building full of willing babysitters. Spend time with Sasha, figure out what you want." She paused for a gulp of tea. "You make a horrible cup of tea," She commented, making a face, "And maybe let Ash spend more time with Kat. Kat likes Sasha, and Ash looks up to her. That's much more likely to change her mind than me talking to her."

After leaving Rachel, Tom called Sasha.

"How are you this morning?" He asked.

"Rachel sent me a text at 6am saying she was going to die, so better than that!" There was a laugh in her voice and it made him smile.

"Are you free for lunch?" He asked.

"Tom, I don't have a job at the moment, not really. I'm free all the time."

"I thought you were sifting intelligence?" He said in surprise.

"There's not much of it!" She replied. "I'm just waiting around for someone in the National Intelligence Service to decide what to do with me."

"Maybe combining all of the agencies wasn't such a great idea," He said, half to himself.

"It was a good idea, it's just not working completely yet. Besides, there are nowhere near enough personnel to maintain separate agencies, however much the remainder of the NSA might want that." She sighed. "Anyway, you were asking me out to lunch?"

"I was." He agreed.

"We could have 'lunch' at my place?" She suggested, and he could almost see the smile on her face.

He fought hard against a slew of mental images as he replied, "Let's go out and eat something." He took a breath, "And talk."


	13. Lucky for Some

_Author's note: Sometimes you just have to uncomplicate things a little..._

 _Thanks as always for the lovely reviews, the reads, the follows and the favourites._

 **Chapter 13 – Lucky for Some**

Sasha stared at her wardrobe as she tried to decipher Tom's call. He wanted to talk? Well she had to admit there hadn't been much of that over the past week or so. The time they had managed to spend together had been focussed on other things… She felt a smile spread over her face at the thought. Sex between them had always been good, great, but it was on another level now.

Ah, but sex was never the problem, a tiny voice of doubt reminded her. Commitment, family, priorities, those were the problem.

She shook her head, trying to clear the thought from her mind. Things were different now. Everything was different. And she trusted him, she admitted to herself, even though she rarely trusted anyone.

Tom waited outside the restaurant he'd picked for lunch, the first to reopen in St Louis and one he'd visited just once before, on an excruciating sort of double date with Mike and Rachel, when Kelly Tophet had come into town. But the food was good, and there was no way Sasha could know about that evening.

"Wasn't this the venue for your legendary date?" She asked in greeting.

He couldn't help groaning. "Let me guess: Rachel?"

"Afraid so." Sasha smiled. "She told us the story on our girls' night out. Don't worry, it's funny."

"Wasn't that funny at the time." He muttered, but she took his hand and leaned in for a brief kiss, and that made up for it.

"I don't have to go back to work this afternoon." He told her as they ordered drinks. "I wanted us to have some time."

"To talk." She said.

"Yeah." He paused, and Sasha suddenly felt her mouth go dry. "I'm worried I've gone about this wrong."

"What do you mean?" The words scratched a little in her throat.

"Sasha, you're incredible. But you said it yourself, we've both changed a lot since we were together before."

This couldn't be a break up speech, she thought, could it? But Tom was pushing on.

"I want to get to know you, properly. I want to spend time with you. For me, if we do this, it's for the long haul." He met her eyes and smiled slightly, "After last night, I don't want you to think this is about secret liaisons in store rooms."

She closed her eyes for just a second, and took a deep breath. "The long haul?"

He nodded. "Yeah. That's what I want."

"So do I." She replied without further hesitation.

Tom let out a noisy breath of his own. "Well thank god for that." And as he grinned, she smiled right back.

"So we're doing this?" The smile wouldn't be controlled.

"Of course we are, we always were. We're just starting out." He caressed her fingers with his. "Sash, the minute I saw you again I felt it. But it was too soon, and our mission... It wasn't the right time. But at the wedding, I realised-" He paused, "Mike helped me realise, that if I waited for the perfect time, we might never get the chance."

The waiter started to approach, but Tom waved him away.

"I don't want to lose that chance." He continued, "I want you, Sash. We can work out the rest of it, but I know I want you."

"What about the kids?" She asked quietly.

"They'll get there." He said, "Sam already thinks you're great, Ash needs time. But we have time, right?"

She looked at his open face, and couldn't help but smile. "We have time."

Tom looked at her smiling face, those beautiful blue eyes that could snap fire, narrow with perfect focus, or - as they were now - sparkle with happiness.

"I'm falling in love with you, Sash." He told her, and he watched those eyes widen in surprise, then soften, then sparkle as she replied.

"Aye aye, Captain."

In unspoken agreement, they paid for the drinks and left the restaurant without eating lunch, heading straight to Sasha's apartment. As soon as the door closed behind them, Tom pulled her into his arms and kissed her slowly.

"I meant what I said," He murmured as he gently pushed her jacket from her shoulders, "This isn't just about this."

"I know." She reassured, and nudged his mouth with hers, eager for another kiss.

Every time she tried to speed it up - pulling at his shirt, grabbing at his ass - he slowed it down again. His touches were lingering, his kisses slow and soft, until she was almost whining with frustration.

"Now!" She demanded in a fierce whisper, as he finally guided her onto the bed.

"No." He replied calmly, stroking his hand slowly down her side over the shirt she was still wearing.

"No?!" She questioned, reaching for his fly, and he brushed her hand away.

"No." He repeated. "Slow, this time." He finally undid a button on her shirt, placing his lips against the uncovered skin just above her breast.

"We've done slow!" She protested, arching up into his touch.

He shook his head slightly. "No, we haven't."

"But-"

He stopped her with a kiss. "You had your turn last night, hard and fast. This is my turn."

She didn't like to admit it, but the trace of authority in his voice was kind of a turn on.

He undid another button, kissing there too, slowly uncovering her. He undressed her a button, a zip, a garment at a time, running his lips and hands over her skin, but never to the places she most wanted them.

"Please!" She made it a demand, as he finally peeled off her panties, his hands skimming her hips. Her skin was heated from his kisses and her desire; this wasn't her game, and she didn't want to play by these rules anymore. She reached out for him, but he caught her hands.

His eyes met hers and he shook his head. "Don't make me tie you to this bed." He half smiled.

"I might enjoy it." She retorted.

"I'm sure you would, but I want you to enjoy this, what I'm doing now."

"I am! I just-"

Once again, he stopped her with a kiss, a deeper one this time, full of desire. She was panting when he finally broke away.

"Stay there." He murmured, and rose from the bed, quickly stripping off his clothes.

"Finally!" She couldn't resist saying.

Tom shook his head again, but he was smiling despite himself. "You're impossible." He said softly, looking down at her. "Here I am, trying to make love to you, and..." The look on her face made him lose his words.

"Is that what we're doing?" She whispered.

"Aren't we?" He asked, feeling a split second of doubt before she smiled, a radiant, beautiful smile.

"Okay Tom, have it your way."

As he lay down beside her and pulled her into his arms, she was no longer fighting for control. She responded to his slow, deep kisses by pressing her body against his, her hands tracing over his back, but there was no urgency.

Making love, Sasha thought, as she pressed into Tom's embrace, matching his gentle pace. Really making love, because Tom Chandler is really falling in love with me. And I said... Aye aye Captain.

She pulled back just a little, her hand on his cheek. "Tom, I- I'm-" But she couldn't quite say it. His eyes were questioning, and she tried again. "I'm falling too." She managed. "Love. With you."

"Aye aye." He replied with just a hint of a smile, before kissing her again.

After hearing her say the words, Tom struggled to keep it slow, wrapping his arms tighter around her, feeling her soft, bare skin pressed against his, and he pushed a thigh between hers, hearing her moan. She opened her legs and he moved fully between them, gritting his teeth as his hardness slid against her hot, wet centre.

He reached for the box he knew was still on the bedside table, trying not to break their kiss as he dealt with the condom. As soon as it was done, he pushed inside her, groaning at the feeling.

"Tom!" Sasha cried out, the sensation of him finally filling her after such a protracted build up almost overwhelming. She clenched tight around him, hearing him groan, and then his lips were on hers again, kissing her as he thrust slow and deep, making her tremble.

"I can't wait anymore..." She gasped against his mouth, and in response he moved a little faster, his hand travelling down her body until his thumb found that hidden spot at the apex of her thighs, stroking gently in rhythm with his thrusts, until she was clinging to him, desperate, right on the edge, and then tumbling over with a cry, feeling him arch against her and groan his own satisfaction.

He stroked her hair gently back from her forehead, dropping a kiss there.

"Okay?"

She nodded, curling her body tightly into his, letting herself savour the warmth of him.

"Okay." She replied.


	14. The Kids Are Alright

_Author's note: I wrote the last chapter and this one while hopped up on cold medication, so had to rely on the lovely Scousedancer to reassure me that I was still making sense…_

 _Thanks a billion for the reviews, reads, follows and favourites. Turns out reviews are almost as effective as meds in making a girl feel better when she's stuck in bed all weekend._

 **Chapter Fourteen - The Kids Are Alright**

Tex and Nina were in bed, in the middle of the afternoon, just because they could. Tex ran his hands over her back as she lay sprawled across his chest, his fingers tracing scars and tattoos and smooth warm skin.

"I love you, Callaghan." He said, and she raised her head and smiled at him.

"Love you too, Kansas."

He smiled back. "You know, Kat won't be home for at least another hour..."

"Oh yeah?" Her smile turned a little wicked, and he was just about to kiss her when his cell phone rang. He made a face at Nina as he answered it.

"Commodore?"

He listened for a moment, his eyes still on Nina, who had sat up and was stretching her arms above her head, her naked breasts distracting him nicely from what Tom was saying.

"You want us to babysit?" He clarified, and Nina shrugged and nodded, so he shrugged himself, "Sure, Commodore. Tell them to head here after school."

Nina raised an eyebrow as he hung up. "Let me guess - Tom doesn't want to leave Sasha?"

"Give the lady a prize."

"Oh, the lady knows exactly what prize she wants." She said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him with intent.

He cupped her breast and rolled her onto her back. "I'm sure I can oblige..."

A couple of hours later, Tex was helping Sam with his homework, while Nina jotted down story ideas on her laptop and pretended not to be listening to Ashley's conversation with Kat.

"So how long until you join the service?" Ash was asking.

"Eight months. That's when I turn seventeen. But they might be lowering the joining age to sixteen, then I can just go."

"I wish I could go with you."

Nina sneaked a glance over and saw the look of genuine pain on Ashley's face.

"You don't have that long to wait." Kat tried to reassure her.

"But you and Lissy will both be gone-"

"Lissy isn't going." Kat interrupted. "I mean, she says she will, but she won't. Not really."

"I will." Ash said fiercely. "I want to go now, I really do."

"You know it's still here in St Louis?" Kat sounded a little confused, but Nina had a feeling she knew where this was going.

"Yeah, but you get to live at the camp."

"You don't like living here?"

"I don't like living with my dad and his stupid girlfriend."

Nina tried not to wince.

"Sasha's cool." Kat said, sounding even more confused. "I mean, she's almost as badass as Nina."

Nina couldn't resist a tiny smirk, but Ashley's next words wiped it right off her face.

"Sasha's not cool. Rachel is cool, Rachel saved the world! What did Sasha do? Ooh, she translated something." Ashley's tone was full of sarcasm. "My dad isn't supposed to be with Sasha!"

"Ash..." Kat said, quite gently, "You know Rachel is married to Mike, right? With a baby?"

"Whatever." Ash muttered, and Nina bit her lip. She was pretty sure this wasn't the reason for Ashley's antagonism that Tom had been expecting.

"Kansas?" She asked, and he looked up from Sam's books. "Will you help me check on dinner, since I can't cook to save my life?"

Thankfully he picked up on her hint and followed her into the kitchen area.

"What's going on, Callaghan?"

"Can you handle things here while I run next door and see Rachel?"

"Yeah..."

She noted with affection that his confused look was identical to Kat's. "I think I need to say something to her. About Ashley. I think she might be able to help. Is that a good idea?" She frowned. "I don't want to interfere, but-"

He shook his head, smiling slightly. "I trust your instincts, Callaghan."

"Thanks Kansas." She leaned in to kiss him, and as she pulled away after a long moment, she caught Ashley watching them with a strangely longing look on her face.

Fifteen minutes later Nina was back, and she smiled at Ashley. "Rachel's looking for help distracting Jamie while she does some work. Ash, any chance you might volunteer?"

Ashley's face lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. "I'll go now."

As soon as she left, Kat sidled up to Nina. "You're sneaky." She leaned against her father's girlfriend, and Nina slung an arm around her shoulder.

"Afraid so, kiddo."

In the apartment across the hall, Rachel watched Ashley with Jamie, the teenager holding him in her lap and playing with his toes as he gurgled contentedly.

"He likes you." Rachel commented, setting down a mug of tea on the low table next to the sofa. "Here you are."

"Thanks Aunt Rachel." Ash smiled up at her. "I love him." Rachel smiled, and let Ash keep talking. "He looks like you." She offered. "He's so cute."

"He looks like his dad too, especially when he's cross." Rachel said, and watched Ashley's face fall just a little. She sat down next to her. "You know, your Uncle Mike missed out on seeing Lissy when she was a baby, just like your dad missed so much of you and Sam."

"My mom was there." Ash said immediately. "Like you, with Jamie."

"You were very lucky." Rachel said carefully, "And I know it's very different now."

Ash looked away. "We have dad, and grandpa. And you."

Rachel felt her heart sink just a little. "Of course you do. And Uncle Mike, and Tex and Nina."

"Nina's cool." Ash said, "But not as cool as you."

Rachel laughed. "Ash, I am not cool. Trust me."

"But you are! You saved the world! And after Mom died, you were nice to us, and Dad," She was rattling a little, and Rachel let her run. "He was so sad, and there was no way he would have been okay without you, and I used to think that one day you and Dad would-" She seemed to suddenly realise what she was saying, and stopped abruptly.

Rachel hesitated for a second, but she knew what she had to say. "I love your dad." She said, moving a little closer to Tom's daughter. "He's an incredible man. And there is not a single day that I don't feel lucky that he was the captain of the Nathan James, because without him, we wouldn't be where we are now. But Ash," She touched Ashley's shoulder and the girl looked up at her, "I think you're old enough for me to tell you that there would never have been anything more than friendship between your dad and I. Even if I hadn't met Mike." Ashley's lip started to wobble. "Your dad has so many friends who love him, and we love you and Sam too. You have the biggest family, you really do."

Tears started to roll down Ashley's cheeks. "I miss my mom." She whispered.

"Oh love, I know you do." Rachel gently took Jamie from Ashley's lap and laid him on his playmat, then she put her arms around the sobbing girl and cuddled her close, "I know you do." She repeated.

Eventually Ashley's sobs began to slow. "Dad never talks about her." She whispered.

"He does." Rachel said softly. "I promise. And if he doesn't talk about her to you, it's probably because he doesn't want to upset you, or make you feel sad." She stroked Ashley's hair. "You know my mum died when I was your age, and I was so angry with my father, I wouldn't talk to him about it. But we were both grieving, and sometimes that's very lonely."

"Dad's not lonely. He has Sasha." Ashley said the name as though it was poison in her mouth.

"You know, your dad has been through such a lot." Rachel was still holding Ash in her arms, but she spoke a little more firmly. "He lost your mum, and so many friends and crew members, and he had to keep pushing through, even when everyone else was falling apart."

"Not you?" Ashley's voice was a little incredulous.

"Oh Ash, your dad stopped me from falling apart more than once. He did that for all of us." She steeled herself, "And Sasha is a good person. She's brave and clever, and kind."

"I don't like her." Ash said mutinously.

"You don't have to." Rachel kept her tone carefully neutral. "You just have to understand that your dad does."

Ash looked up at her. "I wish it was you." She whispered, and started crying again.

By the time Mike came home, Ashley and Sam were back upstairs with their grandfather, and Rachel was laying on the sofa, fighting tears of her own.

"I'm sorry about this morning." He said immediately as he walked in, "I was an asshole." He registered how upset she looked, and quickly crossed the room to kneel in front of the sofa, gathering her up in his arms. "Hey, what is it?"

Rachel let go and cried a little into the front of his shirt while he stroked her back.

"This isn't about me being an asshole is it?" He asked in concern.

"No." she raised her head and gave a snotty little laugh. "You're fine. It's Ashley. She's in so much pain, and it reminds me so much of being that age, and missing my mother, and being so confused..."

He kissed her forehead. "It's okay. She'll be okay."

"I love you." She said softly, and he felt his chest twinge.

"I love you sweetheart. And I'm sorry everything is so hard at the moment." He paused, "Our living situation is not ideal." She smiled slightly, and sat up so that he could sit on the couch next to her, wrapping her back up in his arms.

"You remember that TV show, Friends?" She asked.

"Yeah, Lissy was obsessed with it. Why?"

"Last night at the bar, we were trying to work out who was who from Friends. Since we all live in neighbouring apartments."

He laughed and cuddled her closer, then he paused as a sudden thought occurred to him. "Wait, who was I?!"


	15. Onwards and Upwards

_Author's note: Okay, no longer medicated, so let's see where this goes…_

 _Thank you as always for the reviews, reads, follows and favourites. You're all MY favourites._

 **Chapter 15 – Onwards and Upwards**

Tom lay in her bed holding Sasha close, stroking her skin, dropping kisses on her tousled hair.

"I like it here." He murmured, and felt her smile against his shoulder.

"Me too." She shifted in his arms a little, and kissed his chest. "This is a good place."

"I think we should avoid leaving this room until we stop being sickeningly self-congratulatory." He suggested.

She laughed, "Or until you learn not to use so many long words in one sentence."

He tickled her waist and she gasped with laughter. "Watch it, I know you're secretly ticklish." He warned. He felt her toes brush the bottom of his foot and let out a yelp of laughter of his own.

"Back at you, Chandler." She retorted.

He grinned and shook his head. "I know there's a whole lot of things we'll have to navigate, but right now, this is pretty close to perfect."

"Perfect." She agreed softly. Then she sat up a little, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth. "Can I see your tattoo?"

He chuckled. "If you like." He obediently turned over, and felt her run her hand slowly over his ass, tracing the anchor design. "Satisfied?"

"Very." Her hands slid up over the small of his back towards his shoulders, and she started to stroke his muscles, kneading a little. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can." He let out a little groan of pleasure at her touch, "As long as you keep doing that."

"What did Darien think of the tattoo?" He heard the hesitation in her voice.

"She thought it was funny." He answered honestly. "She liked that story."

"So... you told her about me?"

"Of course I did." He almost turned over, but her hands were firm on his back, and in a way it was easier like this. "You were an important part of my life. And some of my best stories feature you. Like the tattoo story." It was his turn to hesitate. "Did your husband know about me?"

"Before he even saw the tattoo." She answered. "Mark knew that he was the first real relationship since you."

"Did you work with him?" He asked, prepared for her to shut him down any second.

"No, but we met through work. He was a translator at the UN." Her voice shook a little.

"We don't have to." He did turn over this time, taking hold of her waist to steady her as he moved. "We really don't."

"It's okay." She said quietly. "It's just..." She settled her back against the headboard, and he propped himself next to her. "You're surrounded by people who knew Darien. I don't just mean the kids and your dad, but Mike, Russ... I'm the only person left alive who knew Mark. Sometimes it's like I dreamed him. And I didn't." His eyes were fixed on her, and he saw her swallow. "He was real, and I loved him."

"Tell me about him." He said softly, and even though it should have been strange, especially given they were laying in bed together, it wasn't.

"He was different." She started. "He wasn't in the service, and you know better than anyone that I lived the service my whole life."

He nodded, and took hold of her hand. "I do."

"He was smart, and interested in everything. He knew more about politics and world affairs than anyone I ever met. We were friends, first, and then one day I looked at him and I just..." She shrugged. "It was like I could imagine a completely different life for myself. We got married after four months. That was it. I knew him less than a year."

"But you loved him." He said, not as a question, but as a reassurance.

"Very much." She said quietly, and leaned her head onto his shoulder.

He put his arm around her. "Are you tired?" She nodded. "Come here then." He slid under the covers, holding back the blankets for her to join him, and then let her settle against his side before wrapping his arms around her. "Okay?"

"Mmmm. Very." Her eyes were already closing, and he wasn't far behind. Then he heard her voice softly whisper, "Please don't go without waking me. Even if it's early."

"I won't." He reassured her, feeling a surge of affection that almost took his breath away. "I'll never do that, I promise."

He woke to the smell of coffee, and the sight of Sasha wearing nothing but his shirt, standing next to the bed with two steaming mugs in her hands.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"11 o'clock. It's Saturday," She added, before he could panic about being late for work, "I figured you could use the sleep."

"How long have you been awake?" He rubbed his eyes.

"About twenty minutes?" She handed him a mug of coffee and slid back into bed beside him, cradling her own mug. "I wouldn't have woken you, but I know you promised the kids bowling this afternoon, and Nina just asked me if I wanted to go for coffee, so..."

He took a sip of coffee. "What about tonight?"

"What about it?" She grinned a little, and he leaned over and kissed her.

"Can I stay over?"

"If it's okay with your dad."

He raised an eyebrow and she laughed. "You know what I mean! You could stay over every night if it was up to me." He saw a tiny hint of something flash across her face. "If you wanted." She added.

"If I could, I would." He affirmed, and meant it.

While Tom and Jed took Ashley and Sam, and in the end Kat and Tex too, to the newly reopened bowling alley, Sasha sat in a coffee shop a block away with Nina, hearing about the events of the afternoon before.

"I mean, I have zero knowledge of thirteen year old girls," Nina warned, "But she's clearly messed up about all this. I managed to catch Rach for a few minutes this morning and she said she got it straightened out with Ashley at least in the respect of her and Tom being friends and nothing more, but I think it'll still take a while for her to accept you."

Sasha sighed, "Anything that helps. Thank you Nina, really."

Nina smiled. "I'm ridiculously lucky that Kat likes me. But then she and Tex have a totally different relationship to Tom and Ash, and I reckon she's also old enough to understand it in a more adult way." She paused. "Well, I say that. I never had parents really, so I'm groping in the dark here."

Sasha's interest was piqued. "No parents?"

Nina shook her head. "No father, well, post-conception. My mother had a lot of problems. I was mainly in children's homes and foster care."

"What was that like?" Sasha ventured.

"You know what? Not as bad as you might think." She grinned suddenly, "But then I was a determined sort of kid. I carried a notebook everywhere and used to write reportage of playground fights and such. I always knew what I wanted to do when I grew up."

"I was the same." Sasha told her. "I was a military brat, lived on bases all over the world when I was a kid, and I never wanted to do anything but join the service."

"Your dad?" Nina asked.

"Yeah, I was an admiral's daughter. I loved the life." She hesitated, "Still do, I guess."

"What did your mum think?"

"She died having me." Sasha said matter of factly. "My childminders were a bunch of sailors. So I can't relate to the Ashley situation either."

"You, me and Rach make quite a trio." Nina raised her coffee cup ironically. "To the clueless stepmothers of St Louis. God help us."

They went to meet the others afterwards, and Sasha was cheered by the fact that Ashley, albeit grudgingly, greeted her as 'Sasha', rather than 'Lieutenant Cooper'. The teenager also restricted herself to only an eye roll when Tom calmly but firmly told her that he was spending the evening with Sasha, and would see both her and Sam in the morning. Sam took the opportunity to grab Sasha's hand and plead that she come bowling next time too, and she saw Tom smile as she agreed.

Back at her apartment, Sasha leaned in for a kiss as soon as Tom closed the door behind them. She felt happy, and hopeful, and keen to be back in his arms.

"Tonight is my turn, isn't it?" She asked.

"Huh?" He replied in confusion.

"Yesterday we did it your way. Three times." She grinned at him, "So tonight we do it my way."

"Oh really?" It was his turn to grin.

"Really. So pants off, sailor. And the rest of your clothes while you're at it."

He raised an eyebrow as he obediently began to unbutton his shirt. "And what exactly does your way involve?"

She leaned in close, her lips just ghosting over his, and murmured, "I want to go for a ride."

He groaned and grabbed her waist, pulling her against his body and capturing her lips in a deep kiss, sliding his tongue against hers as his hands roamed under her shirt, caressing the soft skin of her back. They moved towards the bed step by step, removing clothes, kissing, caressing, until Tom's back hit the mattress and Sasha straddled him, bending her head for another kiss as his hand cupped her breast.

He felt her slick, hot centre slide along his hard length, and then swallowed a groan as she sank down onto him, gasping at the feeling of being inside her, and then even more so at the sight of her as she straightened, her hands moving to her breasts as she moved on him slowly.

"You look… Oh god, Sash…" He fought against the impulse to take control and drive up into her, letting her set the pace and drive him slowly crazy instead. She was so hot, so silken inside… And then he realised something. "Condom?!"

Sasha gasped, half at the sensation of Tom filling her, and half at his words. It hadn't been deliberate, she'd just been in the moment, but now… "It's a safe time." She reassured him after a lightning fast calculation, not wanting to stop, not wanting to lift herself off of him, too lost in the feeling - and he felt so incredibly good.

Common sense tried to make its voice heard in Tom's head, but it was drowned out by the sheer pleasure of being inside Sasha without any barrier, slow, unhurried, just feeling her, really feeling her. Not like that night in the storeroom, but deliberately, savouring it, feeling her completely, loving her completely...

Sasha was breathing harder, rocking on him a little faster, and she moaned as she felt him lift his hips and join her, matching her movements, pushing deeper as she sank down onto him. She was so close, and he must have been able to see it, because his hand was suddenly between her legs, his thumb firmly circling on her sweet spot, and then at the moment she exploded around him, she heard him shout out and felt him come deep inside her.

"Was that stupid?" He asked, as they lay side by side fighting for breath, bodies sweaty and hands interlinked.

She shook her head. "No, it should be okay, I mean… It's the wrong time for… you know." He looked over and saw that she was blushing slightly. She turned her head and met his eyes. "I'm not trying to get pregnant." There was something almost verging on defensive in her tone.

He reached out and stroked her cheek. "I know." He reassured her. "And that was… God, Sash, you feel so incredible."

He watched the smile spread over her face. "Oh so do you, sailor. So do you."


	16. The Wee Small Hours

_Author's note: This is another one of those little interludes really, but I couldn't get it out of my head..._

 _I'm about to enjoy a long weekend with my beloved, so no more updates until later next week, but they are coming, I promise!_

 _Thank you as always for the reviews, reads, follows and favourites, and wishing you all a very happy weekend!_

 **Chapter 16 - The Wee Small Hours**

He didn't hear the words, but there was something in Nina's voice that brought Tex to alertness almost instantly.

"Callaghan?" On instinct he quickly ran his eyes around the room, listening for sounds elsewhere in the apartment as he did so, but all was dark and quiet.

He shifted his gaze to Nina, who was sitting up in bed beside him. Her eyes were wide and fixed on the middle distance, and for the first time since he'd met her, he saw fear in them.

"They're all dead." She was gasping the words, panting, as though she couldn't catch her breath.

"Callaghan? Nina?" He said carefully, reaching out and putting his hand on her shoulder, "What's happening, darlin'?"

"Everybody died." She was rasping. "They all died, they all-" Her chest was heaving.

"It's okay, it's alright." He reached for her hands, and it took all of his self control not to react when he saw blood dripping from her fists where she'd cut into her palms with her nails. He settled for laying his hands over the clenched fists as his eyes roamed over her face. "It's a panic attack." He said, as much to himself as to Nina, keeping his voice as calm as possible. "You need to breathe, you can, darlin', I promise. Just take a breath for me. Just one breath."

Nina finally gasped in a full breath, her eyes starting to focus, and he nodded.

"That's it, there we go. Now another one of those." He reassured, keeping his eyes on her face, "Come on darlin', just keep breathing." Nina's breathing was starting to even out, and he felt her fists unclench under his fingers.

"I'm sorry." She managed eventually, and her eyes finally fixed on his, "I'm sorry."

"No, no, no. Don't you apologise. Nothing to say sorry for." He gently took her hands in his and turned them over, wincing at the sight of bloody crescents cut into her palms. "What happened Callaghan?"

She tried to smile, "Guess it finally got to me." She shrugged, and somehow that affected him more than the panic attack had.

"You don't have to be tough all the time, you know." He stroked her cheek with the backs of his fingers, careful not to get blood from her hands on her face.

"In that case," Her voice wobbled just slightly, "Can I have a cuddle?"

Forgetting about the blood, because this was more important, Tex wrapped his arms tight around Nina and felt her head drop onto his shoulder.

"It's alright Callaghan. You're alright, I promise."

"None of us are alright." She said, her voice muffled against his neck. "None of us are. Not really."

"No," He agreed quietly, "No, but we will be."

"You believe that?" She asked, her head still buried in the crook of his neck.

"I have to." He held her a little tighter. "Otherwise what the hell is the point?"

She shifted in his arms and raised her head to look at him, "I like it better when we're cracking jokes." She managed a small smile.

"I'll remember that for next time." He returned her smile and kissed her softly.

"I hope there is no next time." She shuddered a little.

"But if there is, I'll be there."

"I know." She cuddled back into his arms. "And if you ever decide to enjoy a freak out moment, I'll be there too."

"I'm counting on it." He kissed her hair, holding her tight. "Because I never want to be without you, Callaghan."

"I'm not going anywhere, Kansas." She reassured him. "Not ever."

"Well that's alright then." And he felt her smile against his shoulder as he rested his head gently against hers.


	17. Maybe, Baby

_Author's note: Hope everyone had as good a weekend as I did, and that you enjoy this next chapter._

 _Thanks you as always for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 17 – Maybe, Baby**

"What happened to your hands?" Rachel asked Nina, as the redhead winced slightly trying to pick up her coffee mug and attempted to find a way of gripping it without pain.

Nina looked up at her friend from her position leaning against the kitchen counter and shrugged. "I had a panic attack. Clenched my fists so tight my fingernails cut my palms. It was a one time thing, and I'm fine." She added.

"If you need some medication, I can recommend-" But Rachel stopped when Nina held up her hand.

"I've got Kansas and whiskey, and I told you, I'm fine. Honestly, Rach, it's not a big deal. Anyway, where's Sasha? I thought this was a meeting of the wicked stepmothers club?"

"I'm turning into a wicked mother at the moment, let alone stepmother." Rachel sighed. "Mike being away has made me wonder how the hell women do it when their husbands are deployed for months at a time. A week has been more than enough."

Nina shuddered. "No offence, because Jamie is adorable, but you're living my worst nightmare right now. I'll stick with the teenager, thank you very much."

Rachel looked at her thoughtfully. "You don't think you and Tex would ever…?"

"Absolutely not!" She tapped her upper arm. "This little magic stick is staying firmly in there, pumping out hormones or whatever, until the world really ends or it needs replacing, whichever comes first." She paused and her face softened a little, "I love Kansas, I do, but babies have never been on the cards for me, and that's just fine with him too. Besides, the number of times I've been torn apart and put back together again, I'd be lucky if anything in there is still working."

Her choice of words and something in her expression tempted Rachel to push further, but before she could, Nina held up her cell phone.

"Should I call Sasha?"

Sasha paced her apartment, trying to keep the fear under control. It didn't help that she hadn't seen Tom in almost a week, as he and Mike had been called to Norfolk to deal with some personnel issues there, and it also didn't help that she still had no work to do and was officially 'on standby' for something that might never happen; but the thing that didn't help the most was the calendar staring accusingly at her from the kitchen wall and confirming what she already knew. Her period had been due three days ago, and so far it hadn't arrived.

For the hundredth time, she went back in her mind over the past fortnight. They'd taken two chances, which had felt like small risks at the time, but now felt reckless and stupid. She might be, no she was, falling in love with Tom for the second time in her life, but she wasn't ready for this, not yet.

Her cell phone rang, and she picked up automatically, taking a moment to register that it was Nina calling.

"Are you still coming over?" She was asking. "Rach and I are here, there's coffee, there are even biscuits – that's cookies to you lot – and Jamie is currently asleep…" She sounded so relaxed, so friendly, that Sasha almost started to feel better, even as she felt a rush of guilt for forgetting their arrangement.

"I'm so sorry, I forgot. But I'll come now. Twenty minutes, okay?"

"Of course, we're not going anywhere." Nina paused, "Are you alright? You sound-"

"I'm fine." Sasha said quickly, "Just… late." She almost gagged as she realised how true that was. "I'll be there soon."

Nina frowned as she hung up, and Rachel raised her eyebrows.

"What's up?"

"Don't know." Nina replied, "But something is."

On her way over to Rachel's apartment, Sasha seesawed back and forth about saying anything to Rachel and Nina. On the one hand, she really liked both of her new friends, and having girlfriends was kind of a novel experience for her – for all three of them in fact – but on the other, a part of her wanted to hold back, keep her counsel, handle things alone the way she always did. Except that hadn't worked out all that well for her since the apocalypse.

She still hadn't made a decision when she knocked on Rachel's door, but she clearly wasn't succeeding in hiding her anxiety, as Rachel's face immediately registered concern.

"Sasha? Are you okay? You're white as a sheet."

Somehow the genuine warmth and worry in her tone, coupled with the way Nina touched her arm and guided her down beside her on the couch, broke through any resistance she was feeling.

"I'm late." She muttered, looking at the floor, afraid to see their reactions.

"Okay." Nina said slowly, "I assume we're not talking about your timekeeping here?"

Sasha shook her head. "Three days." She took a deep breath, reminded herself that she was a grown woman, and raised her head to look at her friends. Rachel was biting her lip, and Nina was making a face that was hard to read.

"Sasha, I'll be honest, I have zero experience with this, but… How do you feel?" Nina asked.

"Sick. Nervous sick." Sasha acknowledged. "But otherwise there's nothing…"

"Well," Rachel said matter of factly, "There's only one way to find out. And while it's not easy to find home tests these days, I can run a test at the lab for you tomorrow, if-"

Sasha was shaking her head. "I can't. Not without telling Tom. I can't just… present it to him. It's not fair."

"There might be nothing to tell." Nina pointed out.

"What did you do?" Sasha asked Rachel, and the doctor half smiled.

"Well, I suddenly realised I hadn't had a period in weeks, realised the contraceptive shot I'd had before the virus took hold would have run out weeks before that, did a test, found out I was pregnant, all within the space of about thirty minutes and while on board the James. So that night I told Mike, and..." She shrugged, "I suppose the rest is history."

Nina was shaking her head in amazement. "Only you, Rach. Finding the cure wasn't enough, you had to find yourself a husband and get yourself a baby at the same time."

"That's not quite what happened." Rachel pointed out, but she couldn't resist smiling slightly.

"What did Mike say?" Sasha asked, "When you told him?"

"He was lovely." She replied, "He wanted us to do it, and he made me believe we could." She looked straight at Sasha, "But the situation was very different. And they're very different men. If you're wondering what Tom will say, then it isn't a good comparison."

"Tom will want to do the right thing." Sasha said slowly. "That's what he always does. Not what he wants, but what's right."

Rachel nodded slightly, but she didn't say anything.

"What do _you_ want?" Nina asked, squeezing Sasha's shoulder.

And that was the problem, Sasha thought. "I don't know what I want." She said aloud. "I have no idea."

Both Rachel and Nina noticed that she didn't say, _I don't want to be pregnant_ , but neither of them chose to comment.

"Tom and Mike are due back this afternoon." Rachel pointed out instead. "So you could tell him, if you wanted, or we could do the test tomorrow and you could decide after that."

Sasha nodded. "Maybe I'll know when I see him." She decided. She sat up straight, smoothed her hair back, and plastered a smile on her face. "Anyway, let's talk about something else. Please."

 _By the way, if you want to know more about Mike and Rachel and how baby Jamie came about, that's what my story The Last Step covers, including the night that Rachel broke the news…_


	18. Red Flag

_Author's note: You know I don't like leaving you in suspense…_

 _Like the way this is turning out? Don't? Why not let me know with a review? Of course follows and favourites are also most welcome!_

 **Chapter 18 – Red Flag**

Sasha sat on her couch, trying not to watch the clock or constantly check her cell phone, as she waited for Tom to arrive. She knew he was back in St Louis because he'd sent her a text message to let her know that he would spend an hour or two with the kids before coming over, but of course he had no idea that she was wrestling with a possible pregnancy, so there was no reason for him to prioritise seeing her, or set a definite time.

Even though she'd been waiting for it, the knock on the door still made her jump. She quickly smoothed her clothes and took a deep breath before opening it, to see Tom on the other side wearing a face splitting grin.

"I missed you!" He exclaimed in greeting, and lifted her off her feet in an embrace that made her laugh even through her apprehension. It felt so good to have his arms around her again, to be enveloped in his warmth and solidness, so when he set her down and cupped her face in his hands, kissing her passionately, she didn't resist.

When he briefly broke the kiss to close the door and shed his jacket, she opened her mouth to speak, but he looked so happy to see her that she just couldn't. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him kiss her into the state where nothing else mattered except the feeling of his body against hers, the way he was making her whimper by nibbling her bottom lip, palming her ass, murmuring in her ear how much he'd missed her; and the desire to feel him buried deep, deep inside her.

As they flung away clothing, hands reaching greedily for exposed skin, lips still meshed together, Sasha still hadn't said a single word, but Tom was too overwhelmed to notice. He kicked off his boxers and lifted her onto the bed, kissing her breast as his fingers hooked into the elastic of her panties, moving down to kiss her belly as he dragged the lace trimmed cotton down her legs and let it fall to the floor. He gently pushed her thighs apart, groaning at the sight of what lay between them, but as he went to tongue her there, her hands pulled at his shoulders, beckoning him upwards for more kisses as she wrapped her legs around him and wordlessly demanded that he enter her.

Sasha moaned with satisfaction as Tom filled her, moving with him as he thrust into her, her heels digging into the small of his back, her eyes closing at the overwhelming feeling of him. He hadn't reached for a condom, and she hadn't asked, and if she'd tried to analyse it, she probably would have concluded fatalistically that the deed was either done or it wasn't by now, so what was the point? But in fact, she was beyond analysing, beyond thinking at all, beyond anything other than the primal craving that Tom had created and was now satisfying with deep, hard thrusts, until she shattered into blissful oblivion.

As he lay beside Sasha, breathing hard and trying to recover his senses, Tom finally registered that not only was she uncharacteristically silent, she hadn't actually said a word since he'd arrived. He turned his head to look at her and instead of sparkling blue eyes staring back at him, he was met with the back of her head, because she was resolutely turned away from him.

"Sash?" He murmured, "Are you okay?" He reached up to stroke her hair, trying to gently turn her head so he could see her face.

"I need to use the bathroom." She said quickly, and before he knew it she was gone, the bathroom lock clicking into place behind her.

Sasha sat down on the toilet and rested her elbows on her thighs, her head in her hands. The reality that she'd blocked out with their lovemaking had now come crashing back in, and somehow she felt that she'd only made the situation worse by not telling Tom immediately.

Tom was left reeling a little, but as he lay there staring at the locked bathroom door, he began to feel an uncomfortable sense of deja vu. When they'd been together in their twenties, he'd referred to this particular phenomenon as 'Sasha takes care of Sasha'. She wouldn't ask for help or let him support her, and she'd never been above using sex as a way to end or avoid a conversation she didn't want to have. He hadn't seen it in their new relationship to this point - if anything he'd been surprised and impressed by her openness - but now it looked like the old Sasha might be making a reappearance.

Still, he told himself firmly, where the old Tom would have got frustrated, he wasn't going to fall into that trap. He sat up and was about to get off the bed when he noticed a dark stain on the blanket, and realised with relief that there might be a much more prosaic explanation for Sasha's dash to the bathroom.

He crossed the room and knocked lightly on the bathroom door.

"Sash? You okay? You're not embarrassed in there, are you?" There was no response, so he tried again. "It's nothing to worry about, honestly."

Inside the bathroom, Sasha lifted her head in puzzlement at Tom's words. What on earth was he talking about? An embarrassment?

"The blankets will wash." His voice continued reassuringly through the door, and she suddenly caught on. Trembling slightly, she wadded up some toilet paper and wiped it between her legs, then stared at the resulting red stain. She repeated the same exercise, and the result was the same. Letting out a long, wobbly breath, she dropped the paper into the toilet bowl and flushed it away, wrapping a towel around herself before opening the door.

Tom gave her a gentle smile. "Are you okay?"

She nodded and stepped in close, and he took the hint and wrapped his arms around her.

"No big deal." He reassured her. "Honestly Sash." He laughed a little, "For a second there, I thought something was seriously wrong."

She drew back just a little, enough to look up at him without leaving his embrace. "For a second there," She said slowly, "I thought I might be pregnant."

Looking at his face as he took in what she was saying felt a little like going into free fall. Her stomach dropped and turned over as he registered shock, panic, and then something that looked an awful lot like regret, all in the space of a second or two, before his hands gripped her waist firmly and his expression settled at something that made her catch her breath. And when he spoke, the words were the last ones she expected to hear at that moment.

"I love you." Tom said, because he suddenly knew it with blinding clarity.

"Oh." It was all she could manage in the moment, but he smiled gently.

"I suppose that's an improvement on 'aye aye captain'."

She pressed her face into his chest and he slid his hands around to her back, holding her firmly against him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked softly.

She raised her head and looked up at him. "I was going to. Honestly. I didn't want to tell you over the phone, and-" She hesitated, "I didn't know how I felt about it."

"The timing would be terrible." He said slowly. "But other than that..."

Sasha laughed a little incredulously, "Your daughter would smother it in its sleep!" She blurted, and then almost cringed as she waited for the explosion, but instead Tom started to laugh.

"Oh God, Sash." He managed through increasing snorts of laughter, "Only you would put it like that!"

She couldn't help herself. She sniggered, and then laughed, and then the tension of the last three days broke and she was roaring, laughing so hard that her ribs hurt, her breath gasping, almost doubling over.

Tom clutched at her, his own breath wheezing as he tried to get his laughter under control. It was a ridiculous reaction to an insane situation, but somehow it felt completely right.

He managed to straighten up, still hiccupping slightly, but the worst of it had passed. He wiped tears of laughter from his cheeks and then reached out and did the same for Sasha, who was now leaning against him, gulping in air.

"We should probably talk about this properly." He said eventually, when he could trust himself not to start laughing again. "You go do... whatever you have to do in there." He gestured to the bathroom, "And then we'll talk?"

"Are you being squeamish?" Sasha teased, feeling lightheaded from laughter and relief.

"Squeamish? No. Reluctant to hear the details? Guilty as charged."

When Sasha was done in the bathroom, she came out to find Tom had changed the blanket and climbed under the covers.

"We're talking in bed?" She asked.

"We are talking in bed. I even put my underwear back on for the occasion. And I fetched these," He held up two bottles of beer, "From the fridge."

She had a sudden flashback to the Tom Chandler of fifteen years ago. It was something about the combination of beer in bed and his boyish smile that did it. But that Tom and Sasha would never have had this conversation.

She climbed into bed beside him. "Underwear on, huh?"

"I would have added my tshirt, if someone-" He looked pointedly at her tshirt clad torso, "-Hadn't stolen it." He kissed her softly. "How are you feeling?"

She thought for a moment. "Stupid, mainly. I mean, I know the odds, and there was really only a tiny chance, but I got all worked up over it."

"Well," He took her hand and squeezed it, "It only takes a tiny chance. Only takes one, if my recollection of Sex Ed 101 is correct."

She acknowledged it with a small smile, and he squeezed her hand again. There was a silence as their eyes met for a moment, before Tom spoke again.

"I was shocked when Mike told me he and Rachel were having a baby. Partly because I hadn't necessarily believed that they were in it for good, you know, with it having started on the ship and everything..." He paused, "But also because it seemed kind of reckless, given the state of the world. But I look at them with Jamie, and I look at what we've salvaged, the way this city is getting back on its feet, and I think..." He paused again, and Sasha realised she was holding her breath. "Having a kid is always a risk. Being a parent, there's a part of you in constant terror even when the world is calm and everything's good. So-" He broke off suddenly. "Shit, Sash, I'm sorry. I'm getting ahead of myself. I haven't even asked you... You wanted a baby, before all of this. Now? Do you still? I mean, could you want one-"

"With you?" She finished for him, because she wasn't sure she was ready to hear him say those words. He nodded, and she gripped his hand tightly as she answered. "It's too soon," She said slowly, "Much, much too soon. But later, if we... if this continues, and things keep getting better - in the world, I mean - and Ashley stops hating me, and I get some kind of career back so I'm sure I'm doing it for the right reasons, and we find some way of being able to be together that might be compatible with our jobs and your kids and the way things are, then... yes." She dared a glance up at him. "Yes, I could want a baby with you. Do want. If, all that. That I just-"

Tom stopped her with a kiss, slow and sweet, that felt like a promise, and when they finally broke apart and he leaned his forehead against hers, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world for her to add, "Because I love you."


	19. Rumour Has It

_Author's note: Ah, the art of putting two and two together and making seventy three…_

 _Thank you as always for the reads, reviews, follows and favourites, and for investing your time in this story!_

 **Chapter 19 – Rumour Has It**

Tom was so engrossed in paperwork that he only heard Mike's question on the second time of asking, and even then it took a moment to filter through.

"Is Sasha okay?" Mike was looking over at him a little awkwardly from his desk on the other side of the sizeable office they shared in the military headquarters building – the same building that had recently hosted Mike's wedding to Rachel.

Tom wrinkled his brow in confusion. "You're the third person to ask me that this morning." He flashed back to Kara Green and Russ Jeter's enquiries. "She's fine. Why?"

"Ah… Nothing. Just checking." Mike directed his attention back to the folder he was reading, but a suspicion was starting to form in Tom's mind, and it sent an icy trail down his spine.

"Mike? What do you know?"

Mike sighed and set the folder down. "I just heard that you and she might be, ah… pregnant?"

Tom swallowed, fighting down an instinct to yell, keeping his voice under control as he asked, "Where did you hear that? Actually no, don't tell me, I already know." He couldn't stop his voice from rising now, "Rachel!" He shoved back his chair and stood up.

Mike started to say something, but Tom had already snatched up his cell phone and jacket and left the office.

Trembling with anger, he ran his mind back over the weekend he had just spent with Sasha. Had their intimate conversations, tentative hopes for the future, loving embraces and whispered words all become fuel for Rachel's rumour mill? And how could Sasha have shared something so private with a woman so prone to gossip?

Not unusually, it took three tries for the network provider to connect his call to Sasha, and with each failed attempt his anger grew. By the time she answered, sounding surprised and happy to hear his voice, he was furious.

"You told Rachel? About the pregnancy scare? Rachel?"

He heard Sasha's sharp intake of breath, "How-"

"Mike just asked me if you were pregnant! And half of HQ has been enquiring about your welfare this morning! How could you tell her that, Sasha?"

"She's my friend." Sasha sounded shocked. "I don't think she would-"

"Share the best piece of gossip around? It's probably all over St Louis by now! Tom Chandler, heroic captain of the Nathan James, in pregnancy shock!"

"Tom-"

"What if someone says something to my kids? How do you think Ash is going to react to this?"

Sasha was still trying to speak, "I really don't think Rachel-"

"You didn't think at all!" He half shouted, "That's the problem!"

The sudden dial tone in his ear told him that Sasha had hung up on him, and he almost threw the phone against the wall in frustration. He tried calling Rachel, but the network failed again, so instead, driven purely by rage, he stormed out to his car and drove the few blocks back to the apartment building to see her in person.

In her own apartment, Sasha was staring at the phone in disbelief. She couldn't decide which was more shocking – the idea that Rachel might have spread her private business as a juicy rumour, or the way Tom had reacted. She grabbed her keys and then hesitated, unsure whether to speak to Rachel first, or Tom. But then she decided she needed to get to the source of the rumour, and set off at a brisk walk towards Rachel's apartment.

Tom banged on Rachel's door until she opened it, looked worried.

"Tom? What's wrong?"

"Why don't you tell me? You appear to know more about my life than I do, and presumably so does half the country by now!"

"I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about." Rachel sounded genuinely confused, and it only angered him more.

"You! Sasha told you something private, and you used it as gossip!"

Rachel stepped out into the hallway and shut the door carefully behind her. "I am not going to let you wake the baby with this, and you still aren't making sense." There was a hint of ice in her tone now.

"You told everyone that Sasha is pregnant." He hissed between gritted teeth.

Rachel sucked in a breath and stared him down as she replied, "I told _Mike_ that Sasha _might_ be pregnant, because I thought _you_ might need support from your best friend. And before you ask, Sasha told me because we happened to be meeting for coffee anyway, and she was confused and upset. Which tends to happen to women when we think we might be accidentally pregnant."

"Then why am I getting enquiries about her from Kara and Russ?"

"Oh, I don't know Tom." She replied with a sarcastic edge, "Maybe because they like Sasha? Care about her? Saw you out and about with her this weekend?"

He matched her tone. "Or maybe because you couldn't resist telling a few people the news?"

"Jesus, Tom, you really think that little of me? Really?" Her voice was rising, "That I would spread something so private as gossip? After what happened to Mike and I with Jamie? Really? You think I would use an unplanned pregnancy as currency?!"

"I don't-" As he stared at her furious face and took in her words, Tom suddenly started to feel foolish, the anger draining out of him, but Rachel was in full flow now.

"I have been your friend, your good friend, despite everything you did to me, and to Mike, because you hated us being together. I forgave you for everything, and I've been here for you, here for your children, and you hear one thing and you immediately think the worst of me! How bloody dare you?!"

The door of Tex's apartment opened and the contractor stepped out into the hallway looking concerned.

"Doc? What's going on?"

"Ask him!" Rachel said, pointing at Tom as her voice trembled. "Ask Mr Always Bloody Right over there!" She looked past Tom and added, "You must be a fucking saint to put up with him!"

Tom spun to see Sasha standing frozen at the top of the stairs. Behind him, Rachel fled back into her apartment, almost slamming the door on Tex as he followed her in. Their voices could still be faintly heard, as could the thin wail of a woken baby, but Tom could only look at Sasha, his rage now entirely gone, replaced by shame and embarrassment.

"What did you do?" Sasha almost whispered, keeping her distance.

"Sasha-" He managed, but she shook her head.

"Why do you do this?" She asked. "You get an idea in your head and you just... Rachel's been a really good friend to me, she would never do that. I tried to tell you that on the phone-"

"And I tried to tell you in the office." Mike said, coming up the stairs. "But you didn't listen then either." He dropped a hand briefly on Sasha's shoulder. "Is my wife okay?"

"She was pretty mad." Sasha replied. "Tex is in there." She added.

Mike shook his head slightly in Tom's direction. "Guess I'd better go calm her down. Or punch you out. Whichever she prefers."

"You wouldn't-" Tom started, but the look on Mike's face stopped him short.

"You're my best friend, she's my wife. Don't make me choose, you wouldn't like the outcome." He walked straight past Tom and into his apartment.

Tom turned his attention back to Sasha. "Sash, I'm so sorry." He managed. "I just saw red. What you and I have, this last weekend especially, I just don't want anyone spoiling that. I made an assumption, a stupid assumption, and I'm sorry."

"Okay." She gave him the ghost of a smile. "Apology accepted, but I'm not the one you just really hurt. And," She added, holding up a hand as he stepped closer to her, "You need to spend time with your kids tonight. So I'll see you tomorrow, once you've made it right with Rachel."

He nodded, feeling nauseated from shame and guilt. She kissed his cheek softly and left him standing alone in the hallway.

He walked slowly up the stairs to his own apartment and let himself in, slumping down on the sofa.

"Tommy?" Jed was in the kitchen area, and he looked up in concern. "What are you doing home?"

"It's a long story, Dad."

Jed shrugged. "I got time."

Tom stumbled a little as he laid it out for his father, particularly over the pregnancy part, but Jed listened without interrupting until Tom finished.

"You want to know what I think?" He said then, "I'm not sure you ever really forgave Rachel for marrying your best friend, and this gave you a convenient excuse to get angry with her. But Tommy, that woman held you in her arms while you cried for your wife. She's your friend and you have got to make it right."

"That's what Sasha said." Tom acknowledged.

"Smart girl, that one." Jed nodded in approval. "Always liked her."

Mike was stony faced as he let Tom into the apartment, and he wordlessly gestured to the living room. Rachel was sitting on the couch with Tex, who rose to his feet as Tom entered.

"That might be my cue." He kissed the top of Rachel's head. "Holler if you need me Doc, or that woman of mine." He shot Tom a glance, "Though she has less self control than I do, so you might want to wait until the Commodore here is safely out of range."

He left the room, and Tom found himself standing awkwardly in front of Rachel, very conscious of Mike standing in the doorway behind him with his arms folded.

"If Tom promises not to shout at me again, will you give us a minute?" Rachel asked her husband, and Mike gave a reluctant grunt of acquiescence.

"I'll check on Jamie." He closed the door behind him.

"Rachel," Tom took a steadying breath. "What I said was unforgivable. You were right in every respect. I'm sorry."

"Thank you." She said quietly. "And for what it's worth, I'm sorry I shouted. I think those things might have needed saying, but not at full volume in the hallway."

"They needed saying." He sat down slowly in an armchair, and swallowed. "I punished you, on the James, for something you didn't do. I don't mean Niels, I mean you and Mike. You didn't do anything wrong, and I acted like you did. I wanted-"

"Don't." She reached over and touched his knee. "It's okay."

"It isn't." He shook his head. "I have to say it, Rachel, I think I have to."

"Okay." She said, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I fell for you." He said, and there was a kind of relief in finally speaking the words out loud. "You intrigued me, and challenged me, and with everything that happened, you seemed to become the beacon of hope sat right in the middle of it all. And I got it wrong."

"You didn't." She said softly. "I mean, you did, in that it was never romantic, not from my side, but you were that beacon for me too."

"But Mike-"

Rachel smiled a little. "Mike gives me the things I never had, and always wanted. He makes me feel safe, and he's given me a family. He's the love of my life. But what you did for all of us, I will always love you for that."

Tom nodded, and felt as though a dark shadow was finally lifting for good.

"I'm going to say something else now." Rachel said, "And you're still not allowed to shout."

"Okay." He found himself smiling. "I promise."

"Do you ever think that maybe you were attracted to me because I reminded you of Sasha?"


	20. Boys Night Out

_Author's note: Okay, first off I'm sorry for the long delay in updating. Like a lot of writers around here, I'm doing NaNoWriMo to work intensively on my non-fanfic writing project, which means this story is taking a bit of a back seat. I promise I will try to update a few times this month, but it won't be the usual 2-3 chapters a week! Hope you can all understand, and won't abandon this story, because I promise to be back with a vengeance come December!_

 _This chapter is one I've wanted to write for ages, so I hope you enjoy it! As ever, I adore a review, love a follow or favourite, and appreciate every single read I get._

 **Chapter 20 - Boys Night Out**

Tex shook his head. "I still can't believe Rachel forgave you."

"Not sure if I have yet." Mike said, looking pointedly at Tom.

Tom gestured to their drinks. "How about if I buy another round?"

They were in the now infamous bar, the same one that had hosted Sasha, Rachel and Nina's night out, and the three men were getting a similar amount of stares to those the women had received, if not for the same reasons. On the plus side, the three drink limit seemed to have been miraculously waived in their case; as Tex called it, 'the Nathan James bonus'.

Mike was shaking his head. "No, I'm still going to be pissed at you." He drained his beer.

"Which is why your lovely wife sent us all here in the first place, so on that basis it's kind of a good thing." Tex knocked back another shot of bourbon. "Though Callaghan is going to be none too pleased when I get home too drunk to-"

"Stop!" Tom and Mike said at the same time, and Tex laughed. "Like you don't do it."

"I have a baby." Mike said in response, and Tom just shrugged.

"You know," Tex said, "You two need to loosen up."

Mike grunted. "I'm loose enough."

"That's always been true." Tom couldn't resist commenting.

"Whereas Captain Chandler here," Mike addressed his words to Tex, "Hasn't been loose since he made Lieutenant Commander."

"You two knew each other then?" Tex asked.

Tom shot a glance at Mike. "I was his superior officer."

"You were a pain in the ass." Mike drained his glass. "With a rod up yours."

Tom found himself chuckling reluctantly. "Tell me you didn't deserve it."

Mike stared him down for a second, then his face split into a grin and he shrugged. "Okay, I admit it."

Tom grinned back, and like so many of their disagreements over the years, his behaviour towards Rachel was forgiven without anything further needing to be said.

Tex was shaking his head slightly. "How long ago are we talking?"

"Fifteen years." Tom replied without hesitation.

"Just after he and Sasha broke up first time around." Mike explained, "Hence the rod up his ass."

"Hey, you admitted it yourself, you had a little trouble following orders back then, _Detective_ Slattery." Tom countered.

"Alright, alright, I said that already." Mike turned to Tex. "I figured chain of command would be the same pretty much anywhere. Turns out I was wrong."

"Why'd you leave the force?" Tex asked.

"We'd just had a baby - Lissy - and Christine didn't like me being in a dangerous job. I never wanted anything else, but the Navy was always in the back of my mind, so that was the compromise." Mike started to laugh, "Of course that was about a year before 9/11, so things got hairy pretty quickly, but I was committed by then."

"And happy about it, I bet?" Tex gestured to their empty glasses. "Another?"

The other two nodded agreement, and while Tex went to the bar, Tom turned to Mike.

"You think about those days much?"

Mike shook his head. "Too much going on in the here and now." He looked at Tom carefully. "I'm betting you do lately, what with Sasha being back in your life."

Tom nodded as Tex returned with more drinks.

"You know," Tex commented, "I was just doing some math at the bar. You broke up with Sasha fifteen years ago, and you have a thirteen year old kid? You didn't waste time, did you?"

"He didn't." Mike agreed. "First I knew him was as a mean son of a bitch with a broken heart, then he meets this girl and before you know it I'm standing up there next to him while he pledges his life to her."

"Darien and I wanted the same things." Tom shrugged. "She wanted a family, and she was tough enough to do it alone most of the time. She was an army brat, she knew what she was getting into. It was easy, that's all, so it happened quick."

Tex shook his head, "Sounds to me like both of you boys were lacking a little romance in your choices back then."

"There was romance!" Tom protested, while Mike just shrugged and nodded.

"Christine got a raw deal, I'm always going to have to live with that." He stared into his glass, and Tom felt a pang of guilt. Because Mike had Rachel, he often found himself forgetting that his friend had lost more than any of them – his wife and two of their three children – and nothing could ever take that away.

Tex was clearly feeling the same, as he clapped a hand on Mike's shoulder. "We all made mistakes, nobody's alone in that." Then he grinned, "But it's all going to come good this time. Wives and babies and a whole new world." Tom raised an eyebrow in his direction, and Tex shrugged. "What? Go to look on the bright side, Commodore, or what else is there?"

"Unless you're not telling me something," Mike said, raising his head, "I'm the only one with a wife or a baby just now." He turned to Tom, "Or is that non-existent rumour about Sasha true after all?"

"No." Tom said shortly, then couldn't help adding, "Not yet."

It was Mike's turn to raise an eyebrow. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing." Tom took a gulp of Scotch. "Just not ruling anything out."

Tex was smiling quietly to himself, and Mike picked up on it. "What about you, 'Kansas'?"

"Oh, I don't know." But he was still smiling. "We might have discussed a few things. Nothing I'm going to share with the two of you." He took his cell phone out, looked at the screen and grinned. "Speaking of which, now you're friends again, I'm going to go pay some attention to my lady."

This time both Tom and Mike raised eyebrows, but Tex just shot them a dirty grin and left the bar at speed.

After one more drink for the road, Tom and Mike left together and walked halfway home in companionable silence. At a particular road junction, however, Tom hesitated and turned to Mike.

"I'm going to go see Sasha." He gestured in the direction away from their apartment building.

"You going to marry her?" Mike asked bluntly. "Just between you and me? Won't even tell Rachel."

Tom smiled, but decided not to answer as he turned and walked away.

Back at his apartment, Mike let himself in and took his boots off, quietly padding down the hall. Everything was in darkness, and he pushed open the door to the baby's room a little wider, looking at his sleeping son in the dim glow from the nightlight. He smiled and moved on to the bedroom, where a shaft of moonlight illuminated the bed and the sleeping figure of his wife. Nothing could ever fully erase the pain of what he'd lost, but the love he felt for Rachel and Jamie assuaged it. He shed his clothes and slid into bed beside her, wrapping his arms gently around her from behind. She stirred a little, her voice sleepy as she murmured to him.

"Did you have fun?"

"Mmm hmm." He kissed her shoulder.

"Are you and Tom friends again?"

"Mmm hmm." He kissed her neck this time, and she made a faint noise of approval.

She snuggled back against him, and he tightened his embrace. For a moment he thought about trying something, but she was so soft and warm and sleepy that he just closed his eyes instead, and let himself drift into sleep.

Tom had messaged Sasha as they left the bar, and he barely had to knock on her door before she opened it, wearing nothing but a pair of very tiny panties, and rendering him temporarily speechless.

"Are you coming in?" She asked, and he nodded dumbly as she reached out and pulled him inside by grabbing the front of his jacket. By the time the door had closed behind him, he had recovered his faculties enough to kiss her, pulling her tight against him as he did so and palming her bare breast. She pulled him towards the bed, helping him to undress as they crossed the floor.

"Good night?" She asked between kisses.

"Getting better by the second." He gently bit her lower lip and slid his hands down to cup her ass, slipping his fingers under the negligible fabric of her panties and pushing them down her legs. "You're still wearing too many clothes."

She laughed softly as he kicked off his pants and boxers, and they both fell onto the bed. He dragged her leg over his so he could reach between her thighs, stroking her lightly and hearing her breathing catch.

Mindful of the events of the past few days, he reached towards the night stand for a condom as he rolled her onto her back and positioned himself over her, but she caught his hand in hers and entwined their fingers.

"I went to the doctor today. We're covered, at least for three months."

"Well in that case…" He smiled against her mouth, then kissed her as he gently pushed inside her, enjoying her gasp and the feeling of her opening around him. Holding her hands over her head, he raised himself a little to look down at her, her eyes readily meeting his.

"Tom…" She pushed against him a little where he was holding still, not moving, just appreciating the feeling of being deep inside her.

Maybe it was the conversations at the bar, or everything that had happened lately, or just the effect that she had on him, but Tom felt a strange kind of peace in that moment. He bent his head again and kissed Sasha slowly, his eyes still on hers.

"I love you." He murmured, and for the first time, she managed to reply immediately.

"I love you too."

He groaned slightly and kissed her again, this time starting to move, thrusting slowly and almost gently as she whimpered into his mouth. His hands tightened on her wrists as he instinctively began moving faster, pushing deeper, and he felt her clench around him and moan his name as she neared her climax.

"Sash-" He managed, and then as he felt her tumble over the edge, he was powerless to stop himself following her, thrusting hard and groaning his release.

He let go of her wrists and flopped onto his back beside her, listening to her rapid breathing as he tried to calm his own. He turned his head to look at her, and found himself staring straight into those piercing blue eyes, and once again he felt that unfamiliar sensation of peace and calm. He reached out and pulled her into his arms, and they lay like that for a while, not needing to speak, because the most important words had already been said.


	21. Bowled Over

_Author's note: So I 'won' NaNoWriMo and completed the first draft of my novel, and before I start ruthlessly editing, I wanted my fix of Tom and Sasha and the gang!_

 _I really hope there are still readers out there after a few weeks' break, and I promise there will be regular updates again from now on. Thank you, as always, for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 21 – Bowled Over**

"Please?" Sasha begged Nina. "Please, pleeeeeease?"

"Sasha Cooper, how old are you?!" Nina laughed at her friend's expression. "You look like a kid asking for ice cream." She looked pointedly towards the freezer cabinet next to the counter of the coffee shop.

"You said wicked stepmothers have to stick together, that was your thing." Sasha abandoned pleading and tried guilt instead. "You can't back down now."

"What about Rachel?"

"Jamie's not even one, I don't think his motor skills are up to it. Mike's coming, and Lissy and her boyfriend, but that just adds to the Ashley gang, and I need backup of my own."

Nina's eyebrows climbed even higher. "This is gang warfare now? I thought it was bowling?"

"Nina, it isn't funny! Please!" Sasha realised she was back to begging.

"Wouldn't you be better with armed backup in that case?" Nina's lips were twitching. "Maybe a SEAL team? Okay, okay." She surrendered, "I'll come. I'm bringing Tex and Kat though-" She saw Sasha's mouth open, "-and don't you dare say Kat is in the Ashley gang, or I'll change my mind."

It wasn't that Sasha didn't want to make things work with Tom's children, it was just so difficult. She was in love with Tom, more deeply every day, and she knew that he felt the same. When they were alone together, there was an intimacy between them that she was learning to trust and cherish, but as soon as Ashley appeared, it all seemed to evaporate. Tom was clearly caught between a rock and a hard place, and as supportive as he was being, Sasha still felt pressure to win Ashley over, to make the teenager accept her, and the fact that it wasn't happening felt like a personal failure.

This outing to the bowling alley was an attempt to create a less pressured situation, involving as it did not just Tom, Sasha and the kids, but Mike, Lissy and Aaron, and now Tex, Nina and Kat too. But Sasha had already seen how easily Ashley could sour the mood and make her feel excluded, and that was why she felt she needed at least one ally.

In the end, she was lucky enough to have two, because Rachel decided to come along after all, in an effort to continue getting to know her own stepdaughter. Lissy and Mike's relationship was still a work in progress, and the sixteen year old had still not opened up entirely about her experiences living with the Immunes after the death of her mother and siblings. Thankfully, her boyfriend Aaron, who had just resumed the basic training he had been in the midst of when the virus hit, had helped enormously. Lissy was living in a dorm at the high school, and she and Mike met for coffee and the occasional dinner, but Rachel had had little contact with her. There wasn't the animosity that there was between Ashley and Sasha, but Lissy had made it very clear she wasn't in the market for another parent.

Sasha arrived at the bowling alley slightly late, and was greeted by an enthusiastic Sam Chandler. The ten year old had reacted to Sasha's relationship with his father in the exact opposite way to his sister, and openly thought Sasha was 'totally awesome'. He ran up and hugged her hello, and Sasha hugged him back with a grin.

"Hi Sam. How's it going?"

"We're all ready, you just need to get your shoes!" He was bouncing up and down with enthusiasm, and Kat and Lissy, who were at the concession stand getting drinks, watched him with affection. Ashley, on the other hand, already had her face set to sour disapproval.

"Come on!" Sam urged, taking her hand and dragging her towards the counter before she could greet anyone else.

"Sam!" It was Lissy who took the big sister role. "Calm down, there's plenty of time." She turned to Sasha. "I'll get your shoes; you can say hi to everyone."

"Thanks." Sasha kicked off her boots and handed them to Lissy, who she had only met twice herself, once being at Mike and Rachel's wedding. "How are you, Lissy?"

"Really good." The pretty teenager smiled. "I like St Louis better than Norfolk, and Aaron's training is going really well." She hesitated. "Maybe he could talk to you later? I know he's interested in intelligence work…?" She looked hopeful and slightly awkward, and Sasha felt a pang of affection for her.

"Of course, I'd be happy to."

Lissy smiled her thanks and headed off to exchange Sasha's boots for the red and blue bowling shoes the others were all wearing. Sam pulled Sasha's hand and led her over to the two adjacent lanes reserved for their party.

The bowling alley was one of the only sources of entertainment that had reopened in the city, and so on a Saturday afternoon it was predictably packed. Nonetheless, the presence of prominent crew members from the famous Nathan James, not to mention Dr Rachel Scott herself, meant that they got VIP treatment, something with which none of the adults were terribly comfortable, but the kids rather liked.

Tom's face split into a smile when he saw Sasha, which widened when he saw Sam hanging tight onto her hand. He kissed her chastely on the cheek, both of them aware of Ashley's gimlet stare.

"Come on Sam." Aaron, Lissy's tall blonde boyfriend, beckoned him over. "You wanted me to show you the spin, right?"

Sam looked up at Sasha as if asking for approval, and she nodded, "Sounds like good tactics to me, Sam." He let go of her hand and went to join Aaron, and she turned back to Tom, who gave her hand a brief squeeze.

"Okay?"

"Okay." She mustered a smile, and turned to greet the others. Jamie was miraculously asleep in his stroller, so Rachel and Mike were sharing a bench seat, Mike's arm firmly around her shoulders as he muttered something in her ear, making her throw her head back and laugh. Their casual, easy intimacy somehow stung a little, and Sasha felt even more exposed as she saw that Nina was sat on Tex's lap, his hand stroking her thigh, as they chatted with Kat.

And I can't even kiss Tom hello without being glared at, Sasha thought with frustration.

Once they actually started bowling, things got easier, and Sasha was almost able to relax, even though Ashley had 'accidentally' misspelled her name on the scoreboard as 'Slasha', and had tried hard to ensure she and Tom were playing on separate lanes. In the event, though, Sasha played with the three Chandlers, Lissy and Aaron, while Mike, Rachel, Kat, Tex and Nina played on the other lane, and took it in turns to play Jamie's turn as Kat had insisted on adding him to the scoreboard.

"He's one of us!" Tex's daughter had said firmly, putting on a doom laden horror movie voice, "The children of the Nathan James."

For the second pair of games, Sam proposed kids versus adults, and Sasha relished being able to at least stand next to Tom while the children were on the other lane, feeling his hand gently stroking hers, hidden between their bodies.

"I don't know if this is kind of hot, or just really frustrating." He murmured, running his finger up the inside of her forearm.

"Frustrating." She answered honestly, looking at Nina sat on Tex's lap again, and Mike standing behind Rachel, his arms wrapped around her. "In case you hadn't noticed, no one else's children have an issue with their parents' relationships." She regretted it almost immediately, but Tom looked resigned rather than angry.

"I could point out that Kat and Lissy are older, and their circumstances are different, but what would be the point?" He sighed. "We just have to persevere."

"But what if it never changes?" She asked in a fierce whisper, "Are we going to tiptoe around her forever?"

"No, of course not." But Tom didn't look convinced. "She just needs time."

It was Sasha's turn to bowl, and she somehow managed to turn her frustration into a perfect strike, eliciting applause from almost everyone, whoops from Sam, and of course, a big eye roll from Ashley. And that was the moment that something finally snapped, and Sasha decided she wasn't playing this ridiculous game anymore. She raised her hands in the air in victory, then did exactly what she wanted to do, which was to throw her arms around Tom's neck and kiss him on the mouth.

Ashley's reaction was immediate, and her cry of "Urgh! Get off my Dad, you _bitch_!" made Sasha cringe, but she felt Tom's arms tighten around her, and then heard a stern male voice respond.

"Ashley Louise Chandler!" Mike Slattery looked at the child he'd known since she was a baby, his face a mixture of shock and profound disapproval. Ashley looked around at them all, her lip trembling, and then fled, running towards the door of the bowling alley.

Tom moved to go after her, but Sasha pulled him back, and found herself saying, "I'll go."

"That is not a good idea!" Tom replied, but Rachel spoke up.

"It's the only thing we haven't tried, Tom." As he looked at her in confusion, Rachel clarified. "You've talked to her, I have, Kat has-"

"I did too." Lissy chipped in.

"-So maybe it's time that she and Sasha talked directly." Rachel said.

Tom looked torn, but then he nodded. "If you want to." He said, looking into Sasha's face.

She snorted slightly. "I'm not sure 'want' is the word, but I think I have to."

As she walked briskly out of the bowling alley in search of Ashley, Sasha tried to organise her thoughts. She had no idea what to say to the teenager, but she knew she had to say something. Of course first she had to find her, and she ended up walking almost the entire perimeter of the building before she found Ashley sitting between two dumpsters, her back resting against the brick wall of the bowling alley, her face streaked with tears.

"What do you want?" She asked rudely, and Sasha took a deep breath.

"Ashley, I don't know what to say to you." She said honestly. "I never have. I could tell you that I'm not trying to replace your mom, but I think you know that anyway. I could apologise for being me and not Rachel-"

Ashley's head snapped up in surprise, but she didn't anything.

"-or I could try to convince you that actually, I'm not a bad person, but honestly? What I really want is for you to just stop hating me long enough to get to know me. Then if you decide you don't like me, I guess we'll all have to live with that, but the thing is," She swallowed, weighed it up for a second, but then continued, "The thing is, I'm in love with your dad. So as long as he wants me around, I'm not going anywhere. And I'm sorry that that hurts you, I really am, whether you believe that or not, but that's the truth. That's where we are."

"Your hair looks like plastic." Ashley said after a moment, staring at the ground, and Sasha felt a pang of disappointment. Her diplomatic skills had obviously failed her on this one. "It's always perfect." The teenager continued, and then she looked up. "How do you do that?" Her face was still blank, but the question sounded genuine.

Sasha blinked, trying to find the answer through her surprise. "Um, I mean, it's naturally straight, so that helps, but I use a balm after I shampoo and I blow dry it cold, not hot." She couldn't believe she was suddenly swapping hair care tips with Tom's daughter.

"Thanks, I guess." Ashley stood up, and brushed off the seat of her jeans. "Can we go back inside now?" And she walked past Sasha, leaving the older woman open mouthed and fighting incredulous laughter.


	22. Sitting Pretty

_Author's note: This is really just some good old Tom and Sasha naughty fun, inspired by a comment from my beloved._

 _Hope you enjoy, thank you for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 22 - Sitting Pretty**

Tom looked up at the knock on his office door, and was surprised to see Sasha in the doorway, smartly dressed in a black skirt suit, perfectly ironed shirt and high heels.

"Sash? What are you doing here?"

She sighed and came into the room, closing the door behind her. "No Mike today?"

Tom glanced at Mike's empty desk. "He's at the training camp. What's going on?"

She slumped into the chair by his desk. "I had a meeting with my new 'boss'. I am not impressed."

Tom looked at her sympathetically, "Still no joy with the NIS?"

"You mean the NSA by another name? They're not interested in any of us from other branches of intelligence, we're being given the most basic jobs to do, or nothing at all."

"I could talk to the president-"

"Don't you dare! I don't need favours." She ran her hand impatiently through her hair. "I need-" A wicked smile suddenly came over her face, and she rose from her chair. "I know exactly what I need." She walked around the desk and Tom swung his chair around to face her.

"What-" But before he could finish his sentence, she'd straddled his lap and pressed her mouth to his.

Tom grabbed Sasha's waist, partly to steady her, but partly to push her back slightly.

"Sash, we can't! Not here!"

Sasha looked at him consideringly, "Really? You used to like a desk, if I recall."

As he fought against a very vivid flashback from fifteen years ago, she took the opportunity to press herself against him again, her lips brushing his.

"Sash!" But he didn't push her away, and as she kissed him again, he wrapped his arms around her, just for a few moments, while he kissed her back. Then he pulled away with a smile. "Enough. It's not happening."

She shook her head and smiled, and was about to climb off his lap when the door opened, and on pure instinct she dropped to the floor instead, fitting herself into the space under his desk.

Tom jerked upright in his chair, turning towards the doorway, and almost kicked Sasha as he did so. She winced and drew back further under the desk, cursing herself for not just standing up.

"Fucking paperwork." She heard Mike Slattery say. "I promised Rachel I'd watch Jamie this evening, and I forgot to bring this lot home yesterday."

Tom stared at Mike, trying to come up with a normal response, but thankfully the Vice CNO seemed oblivious as he dumped files into a tattered attaché case.

"Not that any of this will actually get looked at, because my son never sleeps, but a man can hope, right?"

"Right." Tom managed.

Mike looked at him carefully. "Maybe you should head home yourself, you look kind of distracted." He headed towards the door and then paused, "And I'm sure Sasha would be a lot more comfortable in bed than under your desk."

Mike smirked, Tom gaped, and Sasha couldn't help laughing.

"See you later Tom," Mike said, "You too Sasha." He called, and then left, closing the door firmly behind him.

Tom pushed his chair back and Sasha crawled out of her hiding place giggling, just as he started to see the funny side. Laughing, he pulled her into his arms.

"Mike might have been right. You want to go home?"

Back at Sasha's apartment, Tom took off his jacket while she kicked off her heels with obvious relief.

"Shouldn't have dressed to impress." She muttered.

"Oh, I don't know." Tom stepped close behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You look good in that skirt."

"Oh really?" She pressed back against him, his touch immediately making her crave more.

"Really." He swept her hair to the side and kissed her neck. "You know, if you still wanted to play on a desk, I notice you have perfectly good one over there in the corner." She couldn't contain a slight gasp at the thought, and he tightened his arms around her. "Did I mention how good you look in this skirt?" He ran his hands down over her hips, and then onto her thighs, his breath suddenly hitching as he felt something. "Are you wearing-"

Sasha turned in his arms and gave him that wicked look. "Oh yes. The other weakness of the great Tom Chandler." She reached behind her and slowly unzipped her skirt, shimmying it down over her hips and revealing black stockings held up by a garter belt as she did so.

Tom groaned, staring as she shed her shirt as well, standing before him in just her black lace underwear, her hair tumbling over her shoulders and her eyes flashing a challenge.

"So, Captain Cha-" But she didn't get a chance to finish, as Tom grabbed her, lifting her in his arms and kissing her hard. He carried her over to the desk, setting her down on it and continuing to kiss her as she reached immediately for his fly. He groaned into her mouth as she slid her hand inside his pants, freeing him, and slipped his own hand into her panties, fingers pressing over her sweet spot. She made an impatient noise in her throat and reached down, pulling her underwear to the side, and he took the hint and with a deep breath, pulled her hips towards the edge of the desk and thrust himself inside her.

She gasped, and for a second he thought he'd moved too fast, but then she pulled his head down for a kiss, hard and hungry, and he thrust into her roughly as he kissed her with equal force, overwhelmed by the sight and feel of her, and then by the sounds she was making, gasping and whimpering against his mouth, and suddenly she was wrapping her legs around him and holding him deep inside her as he felt her tremble and come hard, drawing his own climax out of him so fast that he saw stars and felt his knees almost give way.

He staggered the few steps to the couch, pulling her with him, and collapsed, Sasha landing half in his lap and half on the couch next to him. She laughed a little, but then sagged against his chest, breathing hard.

"Oh, your tastes haven't changed, have they?" She stroked a hand along his jaw affectionately, and he shook his head slightly, grinning ruefully.

"You always could drive me crazy." He wrapped his arms around her and for a few minutes they just breathed, relaxed together, coming down from the high.

"We need to spend more time together." He said eventually. "I don't just mean this, I mean… I miss you when you're not around."

She smiled. "Me too."

"You know, Danny and Kara are looking for a bigger place. Living in a two bedroom with a baby and Kara's mom is getting a little too much."

"I thought Debby was getting serious with-" Sasha stopped herself just in time.

He raised an eyebrow. "You're getting as bad as Rachel."

"Where do you think I hear this stuff from? I do actually try not to pass it on."

"Anyway, their apartment will be coming free, and if you wanted…"

"No." She replied firmly. "I'm not going to sit in my apartment waiting for you to sneak downstairs for an hour." She took his hand, looking up at him and imploring him to understand this. "I want to spend more time with you, of course I do, but we should be doing that in your apartment. We need to get Ashley - and Sam - used to me being around." She swallowed. "When the time is right, we should even have sleepovers there. Tom, we have to move forward, honestly, openly. We have to."

His face softened and he feathered a kiss over her forehead. "You're right, of course you're right. You should start coming over more, starting now. What are you doing for dinner tonight?"

"Actually, I'm going out for dinner with Nina and Rachel."

"Of course you are." He laughed. "Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." And she smiled, the big radiant Sasha smile that he'd never been able to resist, and never wanted to.


	23. Dinner and a Movie

_Author's note: Slowly but surely… I'm still not sure exactly where or when this story ends, but it's probably heading into its final act._

 _In other news, there are at least two standalone Christmas stories coming, one just for Mike and Rachel, because they will always be my favourite._

 _Thank you, as always, for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting. It means a lot, it really does._

 **Chapter 23 - Dinner and a Movie**

In a lot of ways, Sasha should have felt less nervous than the previous two occasions they'd tried family dinner at the Chandler residence, but despite the slight thawing of her relationship with Ashley, somehow now the stakes felt higher, and she was more apprehensive than ever.

As always, Sam was sweetly enthusiastic, thrilled to see her and dying to tell her everything he'd been doing since they'd last seen each other. While Tom cooked and Sasha helped, Sam sat up at the counter and chattered about school and a dozen other things, but Ashley had yet to make an appearance, and Sasha found it hard to fully concentrate on either the dinner preparation or Sam's stories, for wondering what was in store from Tom's elder child.

Of course, when Ashley finally did enter the room, she chose the moment that Tom had his arms wrapped playfully around Sasha's waist as he tutored her on how he wanted the vegetables chopped. However, instead of throwing a tantrum, the teenager just shot them both a rather long suffering look and poured herself a glass of water before retreating to the sofa with a stack of magazines.

Sasha watched her for a few moments, and then murmured to Tom, "I'm going in."

"Good luck, sailor," He murmured back, "I'll have a SEAL team on standby."

She leaned back into his embrace for just a second, drawing strength from it, then moved into the living area to talk to Ashley.

"What are you reading?"

Ash shrugged. "Old magazines. Like, really old." She held one up so Sasha could see the cover, which featured the cast of Friends around the time that show was first on air. "Lissy found them at the high school, a whole cupboard full. The clothes are gross."

It was by far the longest and most friendly interaction they had ever had, and Sasha leaned forward to look at one of the magazines.

"In the nineties, those clothes were actually fashionable." She laughed a little awkwardly, "I had trousers just like that." She had to steel herself not to wince, realising she'd left herself open for an easy insult, but Ashley just made a face.

"I guess bad clothes don't matter if you're pretty."

Sasha used all of her diplomatic skills to keep her expression neutral, but inside she was open mouthed with shock. Had Ashley just paid her a compliment? "They were really bad trousers." She said lightly, and started flicking through the magazine a little faster until she found what she was looking for. "And I wore them with a hat like that." She turned the magazine to show Ashley, and to her even greater shock, the teenager sputtered with laughter.

"Okay, that is bad." She looked up at Sasha almost shyly. "If I had your hair, I would never wear a hat."

"You have really pretty hair." Sasha replied, feeling thoroughly wrong footed. Unfortunately, it was clearly the wrong thing to say, as Ashley's face visibly closed up again.

"I don't need to be pretty; I'm joining the Navy. I just need to look smart in uniform, not pretty in some dress." She almost spat the last word, and then lifted the magazine to block her face from view.

Rather than try to engage any further, Sasha retreated back to the kitchen, making a face in response to Tom's raised eyebrow. "I said something wrong." She said quietly. "But before that, it was… better." And the look of hope on Tom's face almost made her want to cry.

Conversation around the dinner table was a little stilted, but at least Ashley wasn't conspicuously ignoring Sasha the way she had before. Tom started talking about the young cadets scheme that Kara Green and Andrea Garnett were running, and the fact that some of the activities were now open to kids Ashley's age, and Sasha watched her face light up.

"Kat went on that trip with them! That was right when Tex met Nina; Kat came home and found them in bed!"

"Ash-" Tom gave her a warning look, nodding his head towards Sam, and Ashley rolled her eyes.

"Anyway," She continued, "Kat said it was so cool, they got to fire rifles and everything!"

"Well," Tom said to his excited daughter, "This time it's paintball, but it should be fun."

"And I can go?" She was almost bouncing in her seat.

"Sure you can, honey. If you're sure you want to get dirty and covered in paint?"

Ashley looked slightly torn for a moment, and Sasha suddenly understood her comments earlier. Ash was right on the dividing line between being a kid and being a young woman, and while a big part of her obviously understood and even appreciated the new world they were living in, there was clearly a part of her that craved the 'normal' teenage girl obsessions – hair, makeup, clothes.

"It sounds like a lot of fun." Sasha said carefully. "When I was growing up, we used to do stuff like that on base, all the kids. It was great getting dirty and rolling around in the mud, and it makes getting cleaned up for the party afterwards even more fun."

This time, it looked like she'd got it right, as Ashley's face split into a smile. "Is there a party?"

"I don't know," Tom replied, "I'll ask Commander Garnett."

"I'm sure there will be." Sasha said, deciding that even if there wasn't one planned now, there damn well would be by the time she was done talking to Andrea and Kara.

After dinner, Sam informed Sasha very seriously that it was movie night, and as the guest she could pick the DVD. There was only a small collection to flick through, but she found herself grinning as she spotted a title that might just be perfect.

"Tomb Raider!" She announced. Tom gave her a disbelieving look, but she ignored him.

As the movie started to play, Sasha felt a little like a thirteen year old herself, sitting next to Tom on the couch and wondering if he'd risk putting his arm around her. Ashley was sitting on a pillow on the floor near their feet, and as she seemed to be engrossed in the movie, so Sasha risked leaning into Tom just a fraction, and he took the hint and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She tried not to snuggle in too close, but after a while her back started to twinge from holding herself awkwardly upright, and since Ash hadn't turned around once, she let herself relax into Tom's side.

On screen, Lara Croft, dressed all in black, was pulling off some impressive fighting moves, and Ashley gasped slightly under her breath.

"Lara Croft kicks ass!"

"Language, Ash." Tom cautioned, but not too sternly, and Sasha smiled to herself. The plan that had started to form in her head at the dinner table was now coming together nicely.

Since Sam had been allowed to stay up past his bedtime to see the end of the movie, Tom dispatched both kids to bed as soon as the credits rolled. Previously Sasha had left at that point, but this time she stayed put on the sofa. Sam gave her a hug goodnight, and she ruffled his hair affectionately. Ashley hovered slightly awkwardly, then quickly said good night, in a voice that could almost be described as friendly, before kissing her father's cheek and heading to her room.

Sasha waited until both bedroom doors were closed before letting out a huge sigh of relief, just as Tom did the same. Their eyes met and they laughed, and she leaned in for the kiss she'd been waiting for all evening. Tom certainly didn't disappoint, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close, before kissing her slow and deep.

"Mmm." He said when they eventually paused for breath, "Kissing my girlfriend in secret on the couch makes me feel like a teenager again."

She couldn't help it, she started to laugh. "Am I your girlfriend?"

He chuckled, "Do I need to ask you to go steady?" But he didn't wait for an answer before kissing her again.

After a little longer making out on the couch, Sasha reluctantly untangled herself from Tom's embrace. "I should go home."

"You could stay?" He stroked her cheek. "The kids don't have to know."

"And that decides it." She stood up, but smiled to soften the blow. "I told you, we'll have sleepovers once I can risk appearing at breakfast. I'm too old to sneak out at dawn with my boots in my hand."

He held up his hands in surrender. "Fair enough. You need me to walk you home? Dad should be back any minute-"

She started to laugh, "Oh wow. Secret kissing and the risk of your dad walking in on us? This really is teenage stuff."

"Speaking of which," He lowered his voice slightly, "What are you up to with paintballing and Lara Croft? You have a plan, right?"

"Oh yes, Tom. I have a very cunning plan indeed."


	24. Take a Shot

_Author's note: I had part of this chapter written right at the very start of writing this story, so I'm so excited to finally get it out there!_

 _Reviews make me happy, not just because I'm a praise junkie, but because they sometimes give me really great ideas – thanks to Starfoxtwin for inspiring half of this chapter! And thank you to all of your for reading._

 **Chapter 24 – Take a Shot**

Ashley Chandler had suffered a fair amount of misery in her thirteen years, most of it in the last eighteen months, but she was sure she'd never been as physically miserable and uncomfortable as she was right now. To start with, paintball had been a lot of fun, and being invited to play with her older friends Kat and Lissy had made her feel super proud. But what she hadn't realised was that Kat's dad had taught her all kinds of fighting skills, and Lissy had definitely undergone some training when she was with the Immunes, because they were both seriously badass. Ash, on the other hand, hadn't managed to land a single shot, and having been hit painfully hard twice in the thigh from close range, had retreated behind some trees, only to lose sight of her friends. She'd been crouched shivering in an ankle deep puddle behind a large tree for at least an hour now, too scared to venture out on her own, and feeling increasingly ashamed of it.

Because all of the kids had been fitted with trackers in their shoes, in her role as a volunteer Sasha had known where Ashley was from the moment the game had started, but she'd held off making her move for as long as possible. She was fairly sure that by this point Ash would welcome her arrival, but she still wasn't certain. As she approached from the side, though, she heard a muffled sob. Moving silently, she crept around to come at Ashley from behind, clapping her hand over the teenager's mouth to prevent her making a sound of surprise.

"It's Sasha." She hissed quickly in Ashley's ear, and to her credit the girl relaxed and didn't speak when Sasha removed her hand. She turned slowly and Sasha nodded a greeting. "There are two boys in those trees." She murmured, "We need to take them out."

Ash stared at her wide eyed. "I can't." She whispered miserably. "I'm terrible at this."

Sasha steeled herself not to react sympathetically. "Then watch." She said simply.

Picking up a piece of tree branch, she threw it as noisily as she could to the right of their position, and breathed a sigh of relief as the two fourteen year old boys took the bait and stepped out of their hiding place. Spinning out from behind the tree, she coolly took out both of them with 'kill shots' to the chest, putting them out of the game. When she turned to look at Ashley, the teenager was staring open mouthed.

"Come on." Sasha said briskly, "Your turn next."

Back in the city, Tex and Nina were hosting what had been planned as a brunch, but due to negligible cooking skills between them had become burnt eggs on misshapen bread, with a lot of mimosas to make up for it. Rachel was attempting to cook omelettes as a replacement meal, but possibly shouldn't have had two drinks first, and Mike was pretending to help but really just laughing at her efforts.

Tex turned to Tom, "Explain to me again why Sasha is running around a field in the rain on a Saturday instead of day drinking with us?"

Nina answered before Tom could. "She has a cunning plan to win Ashley over."

"A cunning plan!" Rachel called over from the stove.

"A plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel!" Nina called back, and they both collapsed in laughter.

"British thing." Mike said drily, as Tom and Tex exchanged glances.

"These heathens have never seen Blackadder." Nina shook her head. "You boys are missing out."

"The plan?" Tex prompted, and she grinned.

"Sasha's going to show Ash what a major league badass she is."

Sasha and Ashley crept towards the edge of the trees, staying low as they dropped into a ditch running along the side of the field.

"Okay, remember what I told you?" Sasha asked, and Ashley nodded. "You see her?" She checked, and Ash nodded again, indicating with a small hand gesture. Sasha gave her an approving look. "Then let's do it."

She ran quickly through the ditch at a crouch, until she was a good ten metres beyond Ash, then popped her head up as though she was surveying the field.

The girl hiding in the tree just above Ash's position - with one of the coveted paintball sniper rifles - took careful aim at Sasha, and as she did so Ash popped her head up and shot her right in the backside from below. She jerked and the rifle dropped from her grasp, landing in the tall grass under the tree. As she scrambled down after it, Sasha finished her off with a kill shot and the girl raised her hands in surrender just as Ash scooped up her weapon with a grin.

"Thanks Lissy, we'll be needing that!"

"So Sasha's trying pretty hard to win your kids over, huh?" Tex asked. All attempts at cooking had been abandoned and more drinks poured, and the three men had congregated around the table to hoover up slightly stale pretzels instead.

"She's amazing." Tom smiled. "Sam loves her, and Ash is getting better…"

"And you love her." Mike commented, "Judging by the sappy look on your face."

"Your idea, remember?" Tom retorted, and Mike grinned.

"Oh, I'm taking full credit."

"So, you going to marry her?" Tex drained his glass as Tom laughed.

"It's a little more complicated than that. I mean, it's not been that long since Darien, and there's a lot of history-"

"You're making it complicated." Tex told him, pouring another mimosa. "Way things are now, if you want to be with her, be with her. Should have learned that by now."

"Easy for you to say." Tom replied, and Tex gave him a considering look.

"Hey, Callaghan!" He called over to Nina, who was sitting on the sofa with Rachel.

"Yeah?" Nina turned and smiled.

"You want to get married?" He asked.

She shrugged, "Okay Kansas, sounds good."

"And there you go." Tex said smugly, turning back to Tom and Mike, both of whose mouths had dropped open in shock.

Over on the couch, Nina was laughing at the look on Rachel's face. "Kansas," She said with a grin, "I think we should come clean before someone dies of shock."

"Wait-" Rachel was the first to recover, "Was that..?"

Tex walked over and put his hands on Nina's shoulders. "I asked her yesterday, Doc." He turned to Tom, who had followed him over. "But the point still stands."

"It wasn't _much_ more romantic than this." Nina said with a grin.

"How romantic are we talking?" Rachel asked.

Nina smirked, "Oh, you know Kansas..." She shot a look at Tex, "Though I did get a kiss afterwards."

"I'm sorry darlin', I forgot." Tex tugged gently on her ponytail, tipping her head back so he could lean down and kiss her. "Better?"

"Yes, thank you." She grinned. "Rachel, you never told me how Mike proposed?"

"I don't think he really did," Rachel replied, smiling over at Mike. "He said something along the lines of 'we'll get married when I get back from Asia' and I said okay."

Mike shrugged, "Sounds about right."

"You see, Commodore?" Tex turned to Tom. "You're making it way too complicated."

Ashley was laid along a thick tree branch, her eye to the scope of the sniper rifle, Sasha laying on another branch just to her left, quietly whispering instruction.

"Remember the wind. You have to adjust a fraction. And you only get one shot, so aim for the chest and take your time. Those two idiots are just strolling around."

"I think one of the idiots is Kat." Ashley hissed back.

"Then she ought to know better." Sasha watched Ashley smirk as the teenager adjusted her sights like a natural, her finger poised on the trigger, then shot one of the players straight in the chest before quickly adjusting and taking out the other before he or she knew what had happened.

"Yes!" Ash cried out, and she offered up a high five that Sasha returned with a grin as wide as her own.

"Officially badass." Sasha said firmly, and Ashley started to laugh.

Three hours later, Sasha was washing mud out of her hair when she heard the knock on her apartment door. Cursing, she grabbed a towel and padded wetly across the apartment to answer it.

"You're early." She greeted Tom.

"You're Lara fucking Croft." He answered, and made her gasp with shocked laughter as he hoisted her into his arms. "Shower? What a great idea." He carried her back to the bathroom as she laughingly begged him to put her down.

"My daughter thinks you are the coolest thing on the planet right now." He said, as he lowered her to the bathroom floor and started taking off his clothes. "You gave her a kill count?!"

"She's a natural!" Sasha was still giggling. "I'm not kidding, she was amazing."

"You're amazing." He pulled her towel away and pressed his now naked body against hers. "Even with bubbles in your hair."

She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the small shower cubicle with her, turning the water back on and tipping her head back to rinse her hair. Tom ran his hands slowly up from her waist to cup her breasts, banging his elbow in the process, and she half laughed and half moaned.

"Not much room to manoeuvre in here!"

He conceded with a grin and moved his hands to her head instead, massaging her scalp as the shampoo streamed out of her hair. "Better?"

"Oh yes," She said contentedly, enjoying the feeling of his fingers, "Much better." She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his face to hers for a watery kiss.

"You know, there is some room in here." He murmured, and then taking hold of her waist, he carefully dropped to his knees, and Sasha gasped as he lifted her leg onto his shoulder and pressed his mouth to her centre.

"Tom..." But she lost her train of thought as he started to explore her with his tongue.

She leant back, supporting herself against the tiled wall, and Tom murmured approval and tongued her sweet spot hard, as her hands found his head.

"We could... use the bed..." She panted, and both heard and felt him chuckle.

He glanced up at her. "You're asking for the traditional approach?"

She swallowed and found herself nodding, and Tom's eyes softened. He carefully rose to his feet, and kissed her gently.

"Whatever the lady wants." He reached past her and shut off the water, before stepping out of the shower and holding out a hand for her.

Legs trembling slightly, Sasha followed him out, and he wrapped her in a towel before sweeping her into his arms again.

"Come on, baby."

"I can walk!" She protested, and he shook his head, smiling.

"Every time I try to be romantic-"

She reached up and put her finger over his lips. Then she met his eyes and whispered, "Make love to me, Tom, please."

He groaned, and crossed the room in just a few quick steps, depositing her gently on the bed and climbing on beside her, immediately capturing her mouth with his.

As they kissed and stroked, wrapped up together, twining unhurriedly around each other as they each tried to elicit sounds of pleasure from the other, Sasha felt deliciously lost in him, and when he finally rolled her onto her back and pushed inside her, it just felt like an extension of their embrace.

Tom looked into Sasha's eyes as she trembled underneath him, her legs wrapped around his waist, their bodies so tangled he wasn't entirely sure where he ended and she began. She was gasping softly, and he kissed her as her body arched and she came apart, then he followed her, lips still locked with hers. As they both relaxed, still wrapped in each other's arms, he found himself murmuring aloud, "Maybe Tex had a point."


	25. The One

_Author's note: This is one of those little interlude chapters, but I couldn't resist it. Hope you can see why…_

 _Merci beaucoup for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 25 - The One**

 _Eighteen hours earlier_

Tex stared at his reflection in the mirror on his bedroom wall, something he wasn't generally in the habit of doing. After a minute, he shook his head with a slight smile. Nothing it was going to tell him that he didn't already know.

"What you doing, Kansas?" Nina was leaning against the doorframe, smiling, wearing one of his t-shirts and by the looks of it, absolutely nothing else. Her hair was tied up in a knot on top of her head, and he could smell toothpaste. He let his eyes travel up those long legs, skim over the curves that were partly concealed by the t-shirt, and up to her face, settling on those green/brown eyes.

"Magic eyes." He said quietly.

"What was that?" She closed the door and climbed into bed. "Come on, get over here, it's late. Kat's already asleep." She pulled up the covers and pulled off the t-shirt.

He smiled and dropped his threadbare pyjama pants to the floor before doing as he was told. As he settled into bed beside her, Nina leaned in for a kiss, and he obliged, his hand cupping the back of her neck, before pulling back slightly.

"Callaghan..." He began.

"What is it, Kansas?" She picked up his serious tone and looked slightly concerned.

"A little while ago, you said you weren't planning on going anywhere. That true?"

"Of course." She looked even more worried, and he remembered to smile.

"It's just, if that's true," He said, "And it's true for me, believe me, then I was thinking..." He looked right into her eyes, "Callaghan, you turned me upside down and inside out when you came along. I know for sure there's nobody else for me, you're it. You're the one. So I thought, if you wanted, we could make that official…" He took a deep breath, "Nina Callaghan, will you marry me?"

He watched Nina's expression move from surprise to radiant joy, before she said, "Yes, yes of course I will!" She paused, "I mean, I probably won't get a better offer..." She raised an eyebrow, grinning, and he laughed and grabbed her, kissing her breathless.

"I love you." He said, when he finally let her go.

"I love you." She smiled, "Can we do it soon, this marriage thing?"

"Callaghan, if I thought the judge would entertain it, I'd marry you right here in this bed, right now."

"Interesting..." Nina pretended to consider it, before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him again, pressing tightly into his body. "I'm not sure we should have an audience for this part though…"

And he chuckled, gathering her up in his arms, savouring scars and tattoos and soft, warm skin, all belonging to the most interesting, funny, kickass woman he'd ever met, the woman who'd just agreed to be his wife, and he let himself grin like an idiot for a second before kissing her again.

"Kansas," She said later, much later, laying in his arms as his hands lazily moved over her skin, "You know you're it for me too, right? The one?" She looked almost worried as she looked up at him.

"I do, darlin', I do." He reassured her.

She smiled. "Okay, good. Just checking. Because I really, really want to marry you. Just so you know."

He kissed her forehead. "Well then, that makes two of us."


	26. Young Wives Tales

_Author's note: A lot of updates this week, I know, but I can feel this story starting the downhill race to the finish line…_

 _On a very practical note, someone pointed out that the 'last updated' filter seems to be a little off on this week, so just make sure you have read all of the new chapters, or stuff coming up isn't going to make much sense…_

 _And an apology to the person who sent me a message this week bemoaning chapters with no TomSha smut… Well, what can I say? Sometimes people do things other than get busy! But there will be more to come, trust me._

 _Thank you for the messages though, and the reviews – getting feedback means a huge amount and is always welcome!_

 **Chapter 26 – Young Wives Tales**

"So when is the wedding?" Rachel asked, and Nina shrugged.

"As soon as the judge has an opening." She took a sip of coffee.

"Next month then, maybe?"

Sitting next to Rachel on her couch, Sasha tried not to laugh at how intent the doctor's face was. She loved both of her friends, but there were times when Rachel's laser focus got a little too intense. Still, Sasha knew Nina could handle it.

The redhead stretched out her legs and reclined back in the armchair. "Next week, we hope!"

"You can't organise a wedding in a week!" Rachel protested, and Nina laughed.

"Half an hour of the judge's time? The law isn't that busy these days."

"But you have to give people notice!" Rachel's voice was rising and Sasha bit down on her lip, still trying to hold laughter at bay.

"What people?" Nina looked confused. "The judge's clerk will sort that out, surely?"

"Guests!" Rachel practically shrieked, staring incredulously at Tex's fiancée.

"Oh!" Nina said, "No, no guests. We're just going to run over there and get it done."

"No guests?" Rachel's voice had taken on a dangerous edge, and Sasha almost winced.

"It's their wedding-" She started, but Rachel shot her a look.

"Nina, what do you mean, no guests?"

"Come on, Rach! It's not personal." Nina leaned forward and touched Rachel's knee. "We just want to get in there and get it done."

Rachel's eyebrows climbed higher than Sasha had ever seen them. "Get in there and get it done?" She repeated faintly. "You're going to tell me you'll be wearing those trousers next!"

Nina looked down at her tattered combat pants. "No, probably my jeans, they're cleaner." Her lips started to twitch, and Rachel let out a loud breath.

"You're joking! You are joking, right?"

Nina let out a peal of laughter. "No! Well, yes and no. We are getting married as soon as possible, and it is going to be low key, but we do want you there, Rach, as a witness. But you and Kat, that's it. And I probably will wear my jeans."

"Borrow my dress!" Rachel implored, "And Tex can wear the suit he wore for my wedding!"

"Setting aside the fact that I'm a good size bigger than you, probably two around the bust, I haven't worn a dress since..." She paused, looking like she was thinking hard, "Actually, ever, so no. But you can wear one if it makes you happy."

Sasha looked at Nina. "Really, no dress?"

Nina groaned. "Come on! I thought I could rely on you to be on my side with this one."

Sasha smiled slightly, "Sorry, I think you should get a dress. And maybe some guests.

"Urgh. You two are supposed to be my friends!" Nina protested, and although she was laughing, there was a slight tension underneath that both Sasha and Rachel picked up on.

"Nina?" Rachel asked coaxingly, "Do you really, really want to keep it so small and... denim-y?"

"Of course we do." Nina replied, taking a large gulp of coffee. "I mean, it's not like-" She stopped abruptly and looked down at her lap for a second. "Of course we do." She repeated.

Sasha took a deep breath. "When I got married, Mark and I went to city hall on our own. Partly because I was being sent to China and we wanted to get married first, so we had to do it fast, but mainly because I thought if we had a big wedding, all I would think about were the people who weren't there."

Nina looked up at her in surprise, and with a kind of gratitude, as Sasha continued.

"It was lovely, it really was, but I still felt the absence. That I didn't have a mother to help me dress - in my very nice skirt suit - or my dad to give me away. In a funny kind of way, it was sadder." She'd almost forgotten that Nina and Rachel were there, just picturing that cloudy day in New York. "We went out to dinner that night to celebrate, and even though we'd just got married, it felt... lonely."

Rachel put her arm around Sasha's shoulder and squeezed. "Our wedding should have been full of ghosts, but it was too full of people to really feel like that. I was so nervous, Tex practically had to carry me into the place, but as soon as I saw Mike standing up there, I knew it was all okay. And that room held so many friends, it felt so full of love, even after everything."

"It was beautiful." Sasha said quietly, and Rachel smiled.

"And," She continued, a slightly cheeky look dawning on her face, "Tom was so busy staring at you in that red dress, he didn't hear the part when the officiant asked for the rings. The poor man had to repeat himself!"

It was the light relief they all needed, and the three women burst out laughing.

"Seriously, Nina." Rachel said when they'd finished, "Even if you just invite a few friends and we all go to the bar afterwards, just think about it."

Nina nodded slightly. "I'm still not wearing a dress though. That's a deal breaker."

"We could go look for something else?" Sasha suggested quietly, "Something not-a-dress?"

"Maybe." Nina conceded.

These regular meetings of the 'wicked stepmothers club', had become a touchstone for all three of them, and conversation soon moved towards the kids.

"So, Kat told me Ashley kicked her arse at paintball, thanks to you?" Nina said to Sasha.

"We kicked everybody's asses." Sasha confirmed. "And even better, according to Tom's covert surveillance-"

Rachel raised an eyebrow.

"Listening to her phone calls from the other room," Sasha clarified, "She met a boy at the party afterwards."

"First boyfriend! Oh god!" Rachel made a face. "Time to prepare for more drama."

Sasha grinned and shook her head, "Give Tom that warning. Ash may think I'm badass now, but I think it'll still be quite some time before she wants to talk to me about boys."

"But it's going better?" Nina asked.

"So much better." Sasha confirmed, feeling a swell of pride and relief. "I actually believe that we'll get there now."

Nina and Rachel shot a look at each other, and Sasha caught it.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing!" Her friends said together, a little too quickly.

"No, seriously, what?"

Rachel and Nina glanced at each other again, and Nina made an agonised face.

"This is why day drinking is bad." She muttered.

Sasha was starting to feel slightly sick. Had they been talking about her behind her back?

"Bugger." Rachel said, "This is... Sasha, what did Tom tell you about Saturday?"

"Um..." Sasha felt thoroughly confused. "Mainly that none of you can cook, and that Nina and Tex are getting married. Maybe something about mimosas not agreeing with him. Why, what else happened?" Then she remembered something Tom had said that night, "Is this about something Tex said to him?"

Rachel shot another look at Nina before touching Sasha's arm. "You remember that first conversation you and I had, that night Ash was so rude to you? You said... Well, relationships are always a risk, aren't they? And Ash was the big barrier to yours." She paused for a second, "And now that barrier's gone, I just- We just- want to make sure that that's okay? I mean that you don't have an excuse- I mean reason- Or need a reason, not to-" It was the first time Sasha had even seen Rachel stumble for words, "Because we know you love Tom, but he can be so very Tom, and if he- I mean, if you-"

"Fucks sake!" Nina interrupted. "Sasha, would you marry Tom? If he asked you?" She said bluntly.

"Nina!" Rachel exclaimed in horror.

Sasha stared open mouthed at the pair of them. "Is that... Did he say..."

"No!" Rachel said, "Well, not exactly..."

"Tell me what he said!" She demanded.

Nina held her hands up in a surrendering gesture. "We'd all had a few drinks. Tom didn't really say anything, it was more Kansas trying to... bait him, I guess-"

"But he didn't deny it." Rachel interrupted.

And as Sasha assimilated this new information, she kept back a crucial piece of information of her own, those words of Tom's... _Maybe Tex had a point_.


	27. The Knot

_Author's note: Oh, I do love writing weddings! Especially because unlike attending weddings, I can experience the joy while wearing yoga pants and sitting on my couch._

 _If you haven't seen it already, I have posted a Christmas story in the Last Step / Next Step universe, called Step into Christmas, so feel free to check it out._

 _To let you into a secret, what this writer really really wants for Christmas is a review… so go on, play Santa for me!_

 **Chapter 27 - The Knot**

The day of Tex and Nina's wedding dawned cool and bright, and Sasha woke to Tom's eyes looking into hers. They were cuddled up in bed - his bed - after their first official sleepover.

Ashley had been surprisingly okay with it, limiting herself to an eye roll and comment of,

"Like you haven't been doing that at Sasha's house."

Sam was just happy because Tom had promised eggs for breakfast. Both adults knew they'd got off lightly, and rather than pushing their luck and risking anything being overheard, Sasha had insisted on wearing the top half of Tom's pyjamas and doing nothing but sleeping, much to his dismay.

This morning though, as she looked into those steely blue eyes that softened so much when he looked at her, she couldn't resist cuddling closer.

"Morning."

"Good morning." He smiled at her, and she tilted her face towards his, inviting a kiss.

She hadn't said anything to him about her conversation with Rachel and Nina, and he certainly hadn't said anything to support what they'd told her. She hugged the thought to her though, taking it out every now and again to examine it, feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Marrying Tom Chandler? Surely it was too much, way too soon, and yet...

She leaned into Tom's kiss, letting him wrap his arms around her. Even though they were in his apartment, with the kids just the other side of the wall, she couldn't deny her desire for him. He slowly ran his hand up under her pyjama shirt, and she whimpered softly as he found her breast.

Tom still couldn't quite believe they'd gotten away with having this sleepover without a tantrum from Ash, but while he'd agreed with Sasha not to fool around the night before, waking up with her warm and sleepy in his bed was too much of a temptation to resist.

"Stay quiet," He murmured, "Okay?"

She nodded, then nudged his lips with hers for another kiss. He obliged, as he continued to stroke her breast, then moved his hand down to the edge of her panties - modest, grey cotton boyshorts, specially chosen for this occasion - and slipped his fingers inside.

Sasha held back a moan as his fingers explored her, tracing through her folds, and she felt Tom's muffled groan against her mouth as he touched the wet heat of her centre.

"You're so ready..." He whispered, and she nodded, helping him to pull off her panties.

She ran her own hands over his ass as he rolled her onto her back, pushing down his pyjama bottoms to free his hardness.

"Quiet as a mouse." She murmured, smiling against his lips as she opened her legs for him to move between them, both of them moving slowly to avoid making the sheets rustle too much, or the bed creak.

In reality, the bedroom door was locked and the kids were probably watching TV, but there was something incredibly erotic about staying silent, secret, as Tom slowly pushed himself inside Sasha, allowing just the faintest gasp into her mouth, feeling her fingers dig into his back.

Sasha tilted her hips to urge him deeper as he rocked against her, keeping his movements slow and measured, his lips tracing over her neck, up behind her ear, before he whispered to her.

"You feel so good..."

She stifled a whimper against his neck, and he nipped her ear lobe as he thrust a little harder, a little faster, driving them both towards the edge.

"Tom!" She gasped helplessly, and he silenced her with a kiss as her body stiffened and shattered into climax, then pushed his face into her neck to stifle his own involuntary groan as he let go inside her.

When he raised his head, she was giggling slightly, and he grinned.

"You think anyone heard anything?" He asked, and she shook her head.

"I think we're safe."

"Shall we go out there and find out?" He suggested.

"Mmmm... Not quite yet..." And Sasha pulled his head down for another kiss.

In the end, Tex and Nina had stood firm on having a very small wedding, but one that did include just a handful of guests. Jed had agreed to watch Sam and Ashley after school, and Debby Foster was babysitting Jamie so that Mike and Rachel could both attend. When Tom and Sasha arrived at the courthouse, the Slatterys were already there, standing with Tex in the small room where the ceremony would be held. The groom was wearing the same bright pink suit he'd worn as Rachel's maid of honour, and looked surprisingly relaxed for a man about to get married.

"Where's Nina?" Sasha asked.

Tex grinned, "She's come over all traditional. Won't let me see her before the wedding. I figure your shopping trip has something to do with that?"

Sasha smiled. "No comment."

"Anyway, we're walking in together so I'll still get the first look. Though she could wear a garbage bag for all I care."

His expression was so open and straightforward that Sasha felt a lump in her throat. "You really love her, don't you?"

"Course I do, she's my girl." He shrugged. "Surprised me as much as anybody, but guess I got lucky." He glanced round to see the judge entering from a side door. "Let's get this show on the road."

Sasha sat down between Tom and Rachel in the small semicircle of chairs facing the judge's table, and felt Tom take her hand. A few seconds later, Kat came in and sat down beyond Tom. She was grinning.

"You might want to turn around." She said, leaning forward so all four of them could hear. Exchanging glances, they all stood and turned to face the door, which slowly creaked open.

Tex and Nina entered hand in hand, and it was clear he was struggling to take his eyes off his bride. Nina was wearing tight fitting pants that hugged her hips and showcased her long legs, and a silky top in the same midnight blue shade, her tattooed arms bare, red hair tumbling over her shoulders.

"Oh Nina!" Rachel murmured.

Sasha glanced to her left and saw her friend biting her lip and visibly trying not to cry, and suddenly had to fight down unexpected tears of her own.

Nina's smile was somehow almost shy, but Tex's face blazed with pride as they rounded the line of chairs to stand in front of the judge.

The ceremony was brief, but Sasha still found herself feeling emotional as she watched Tex and Nina exchange plain silver wedding bands. They didn't seem to be aware of their guests, of anything but each other, and when the judge declared them man and wife, Tex lifted Nina right off her feet as he kissed her on and on to a growing chorus of whoops and cheers from their small audience.

The restaurant which had been the first to reopen - and had played host to Tom's one disastrous attempt at dating before Sasha - was now the venue for a very small reception, held in a private room just big enough for the seven of them, plus Lissy as Kat's best friend. As Tom poured champagne, Tex and Nina stood close together, hands firmly clasped, and Sasha remembered that dinner at Rachel's, when the couple had just met, even then a tight little unit.

"Look," She murmured to Rachel, "They're so..."

Rachel nodded. "If love at first sight is a real thing, those two prove it."

"It wasn't like that for you and Mike?"

Rachel laughed. "You've heard the stories about the early days on the James. We did not get on."

"You know, you never told me how it did happen?" Sasha sipped her champagne, "I mean, I know you were on the ship, but..."

Rachel hesitated, glancing over to check that Tom and Mike were still in conversation with Tex and Nina before replying. "It was one of the bad days. There were quite a lot of those, but this was a very bad one. And Mike... I suppose I'd had feelings for a while, and so had he, but god knows neither of us knew or would have acted on them. Anyway, at the end of this very bad day, he touched me, brushed my hair back, and there was this moment-" She looked completely lost in the memory for a second, "And so later, I went to his cabin and asked him to fuck me, essentially."

Sasha let out a burst of shocked laughter and Rachel grinned.

"And then," She continued, "We started off just doing that, but very quickly it turned into something else. Well, this. What we have now. I almost lost him when he was captured, and it-" She stopped and shook her head, then looked Sasha full in the face. "I never thanked you, for getting him home. Thank you, so much." Her eyes had filled with tears, and Sasha impulsively leaned forward and hugged her, then noticed that Mike was looking over in concern.

"I'm so glad I could help, really." She said, "But that husband of yours is now looking worried, so we should probably get on with the celebration."

After a relaxed meal and a couple more bottles of champagne, Tex tapped a fork on his glass to call for silence.

"My wife and I-" He began with a grin, and was immediately drowned out by cheers from everyone around the table, "-would just like to thank you for coming to our very small, very perfect-" He glanced at Nina and she grinned, "-wedding. And I would also like to thank my wife for marrying me; I am a lucky man." There was more cheering and applause, and Nina was blushing a little. "But I have been told that the best man and bridesmaid, my daughter Kathleen, wants to say something to embarrass her old man, so please give her your full attention."

Kat stood up as Tex sat back down, and Sasha wondered, not for the first time, at how self-possessed the sixteen year old was.

"First," Kat began, "I want to thank my dad for letting me drink this champagne… and it's really sweet that he thinks it's our first time." She grinned at Lissy as everyone laughed - everyone except Mike, who looked towards his daughter with a stern expression.

"But actually I'm not going to say very much, except that the first time I saw Dad and Nina together - which was when I came home and found them in bed-" Another burst of laughter, and Nina buried her head in Tex's shoulder for a second in mock mortification, "-I knew that my dad had found the right person. I love you, Dad, and I love Nina too, you're awesome."

"I love you, kiddo." Nina replied.

Kat grinned, for the first time looking just a little shy. "So please can we toast to the bride and groom, my dad - Tex - and Nina."

"Tex and Nina!" They all chorused.

Tom turned his head to look at Sasha sitting next to him. She was smiling, beautiful, and he had to fight down a sudden impulse to just ask her, right there and then. And that, that was when he knew.

"What is it?" She asked, frowning slightly. "Tom?"

"Nothing," He kissed her lightly, "I love you, that's all."

"Me too." She smiled, "You want another drink?"

He shook his head. "Honestly?" He asked, lowering his voice so only she could hear, "I want to take you home - your home - and get really, really loud."

Sasha laughed, leaning in close. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well alright then, sailor, you're on."


	28. Be Prepared

_Author's note: So I think I know how this story is going to end… eek! But not to worry, there's a little while to go yet!_

 _Thanks you all, as always, for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 28 – Be Prepared**

"I'm calling a family meeting." Tom announced, looking around the dinner table at his father and his two children. "I have something I need to discuss with you all."

He'd been thinking about this constantly in the week since Tex and Nina's wedding, a week in which Sasha had slept over twice, and he'd slept at her place three times. Being apart from her was starting to feel unnatural, and he didn't sleep well without her laying beside him, her hand resting softly on his arm or chest, as if she was just checking he was there.

Jed chuckled slightly. "I think I know where this is going." He noted.

Tom took a deep breath, and started the speech he'd rehearsed in his head, focussing mainly on Sam and Ashley. "You guys know that Sasha and I love each other. That doesn't mean I don't love your mom, that I don't miss her," He swallowed, "But after everything that has happened, I feel very lucky to have found Sasha."

He paused to consider their reactions. Ashley's face was blank, and Sam just looked a little confused, so he ploughed on. "The way the world was before the virus, things probably would have happened a lot more slowly, but I think we all know now how fast things can change, and how valuable the quiet times, the good times, are."

He paused again, and this time it was seeing Jed nodding gently that drove him on. "Ash, Sam, Dad, I want to ask Sasha to marry me. But I don't want to do that until I know what you think about it."

Jed leaned over and patted his son's arm. "Tommy, she's a great girl. She always was a great girl. The sooner you get a ring on her finger, the better."

Tom smiled at him gratefully, and turned to the kids. "Guys?"

"Would Sasha live here with us?" Sam asked.

Tom nodded, "Maybe as the city clearance continues we'll get a new house, but to begin with, yes, she'd live here."

"Okay." Sam said, then he grinned. "I like it when Sasha's here. She's fun."

"So you're okay about this?" Tom checked, and it was Sam's turn to nod.

"Yes." Then his face suddenly turned a little worried, "You won't make me be in the wedding right? Like a boy bridesmaid? I don't have to carry flowers or anything?"

"No, Sam." Tom laughed, Jed joining in. "No flowers, I promise."

Ashley had stayed silent throughout the conversation, her face blank. Tom swallowed as he turned to her.

"Ash?" He asked gently.

She looked up at him. "Dad, can I please think about it?" Her tone was measured, and she didn't seem upset, so Tom nodded agreement.

"Of course you can, honey."

A few blocks away, Sasha was spending the evening alone in her apartment, doing laundry and trying not to text Tom. It was crazy how much she missed him when he wasn't around. She turned on the TV in an attempt at distraction, but as there were still only two stations broadcasting - one rolling news and the other mainly old shows and movies - she didn't find anything to engage her.

The knock on her door came as a welcome relief, and she got up to open it, assuming it would be Andrea or perhaps Alisha, who shared the apartment down the hall. When she saw who it was, however, she was filled with surprise, and just a little bit of apprehension. Fighting down her reaction, she smiled instead.

"Ashley? Does your dad know you're here?"

Tom's daughter shook her head. "I told him I was going downstairs to see Kat, but I needed to talk to you about something."

Sasha realised she was still standing in the doorway. "Come in, come in." She moved back to let Ash into the room. The teenager looked around with interest at the small studio apartment.

"Is this all of your stuff?"

"Yeah." Sasha closed the front door. "I don't have very much."

Ashley turned to look at her. "So can I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course." Sasha replied, but she couldn't help tensing in anticipation. They had been getting on much better, but she was still concerned that Ash didn't entirely approve of her relationship with Tom.

"Do you really love my dad?" Ash asked.

"Of course I do." Sasha responded instantly.

Ash bit her lip, "Because he was really, really sad when my mom died, and even if he said he was okay, he wasn't okay." She fell silent.

"It was very hard for him, I know. It was hard for all of you. It is hard." Sasha tried to reassure her as she wondered where on earth this was going.

"So you can't leave him," Ash blurted, "Or die. You have to stay. If you love my dad, you have to stay for him."

Sasha saw tears in the girl's eyes, and felt a few of her own welling up. She wanted to hug her, but she wasn't sure how well that would go down, so she reached out and touched Ash's shoulder instead.

"I promise I love your dad, and I promise I'm not going anywhere."

Ash stared up at her, and then suddenly she flung her arms around Sasha's waist, and Sasha held her, instinctively pulling her close.

Even through her shock at Ashley's reaction, she was still trying to understand what was going on. "Ash, what's brought this on now? Is everything okay?"

"I just needed to know." Ash said into her chest, and she let Sasha hold her a little longer, then pushed herself back and upright. "I'm going to go home now."

"Okay, I'll walk you," Sasha told her, "I can't let you go alone, I'm sorry."

"Will you tell my dad?"

Sasha hesitated, but then went with her gut. "No. Not if you promise not to do this again. It's not safe, not at night."

"I promise." Ash said quickly, and Sasha smiled.

Tom was sitting on the couch watching an old movie with Jed when Ashley came home.

"You have fun with Kat, honey?" He asked, secretly convinced she'd gone straight downstairs and told Kat everything.

"Yes…" Ash said slowly. "Can I talk to you?"

Jed patted Tom's knee. "About time I went to bed anyway. I'll see you in the morning, son. Goodnight sweetheart." He kissed Ashley's head as he walked past her, and Tom smiled at the affectionate gestures. His dad had changed with the apocalypse, just like all of them.

Ash came to sit beside him. "Dad, I know I was horrible to Sasha. But I do like her now."

"That's good honey. She likes you too." He said carefully, waiting to hear the rest.

"I think you should get married, and Sasha should live here." His daughter said firmly.

"Are you sure?" He asked, hardly able to believe it.

"I'm going to join the Navy." Ash said quietly, "And Sam will go to college or something, and Grandpa-" She paused, and he could see tears in her eyes. "I don't want you to be on your own, Dad."

"Oh honey, come here." Tom pulled her into his arms, fighting tears of his own. As he held her close, he could have sworn he smelt Sasha for a moment, but then dismissed it, cuddling his daughter tight. "I love you, I won't be on my own. And you don't ever have to worry about me. It's my job to worry about you." He kissed her head and stroked her hair.

"Are you going to ask Sasha then?" Ash asked after a little while, and he smiled.

"I am."

"When?" Ash looked up at him, "How?"

He laughed. "I don't know yet. Wait and see!"

"You know, Sasha is probably lonely tonight." Ash said. "Maybe you should go see her."

"I'm not proposing tonight!" He laughed.

"No, just go see her. I think she'd like it." There was something in Ashley's tone that made him frown, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Ash..." He wanted to ask if she'd somehow spoken to Sasha, but that was crazy, of course she hadn't. "Won't you guys miss me?" He asked instead.

Ash rolled her eyes. "Sam's asleep already, so is Grandpa," She gave him a winning look, "And I could watch DVDs... Since tomorrow is Saturday?"

Tom laughed, satisfied that her true motivation was revealed. "Well, I guess that would be okay. But not too late!"

Tom looked up at Sasha's building, seeing darkness at her window. He used the code for the front door, and then flicked through his keys as he walked upstairs, finding the one she'd given him for her apartment. He slid the key into the lock and slowly opened the door, immediately announcing his presence in a loud whisper, because he was fairly sure she slept with a gun close to hand, and he didn't want to be the victim of her lightning fast reflexes.

"Sash?"

"Mmm?" Her voice was sleepy, and in the moonlight he could see she was in bed.

"Are you awake?" He shut and locked the door, and took off his boots before walking softly over to the bed.

"Wha-?" Sasha half raised her head, and he sat on the edge of the bed, running a hand over her hair.

"It's okay, go back to sleep."

"Tom?" She blinked her eyes half open, and he stroked her cheek.

"I missed you." He said honestly, "I thought you might be missing me."

"I was." She smiled sleepily. "I am." She pulled the blankets back, and he quickly shed his pants and sweater, climbing in beside her in just his boxers and t-shirt.

"Hey." He pulled her into his arms, feeling the warm, soft weight of her body as she relaxed into him.

"Hey." She murmured back, her eyes already closed as she nuzzled her face into his shoulder.

"I love you." He whispered, gently kissing the top of her head. After a few seconds he knew she was asleep again, her breathing light and even. "I'm always going to love you," He murmured, so quietly he could barely hear the words himself, but somehow it felt important to say it, and for a crazy moment, he almost woke her up and asked her the question. But as he held her, breathing in the smell of her hair, he decided she deserved more than an impromptu proposal in the middle of the night. Sasha deserved something special.


	29. You Only Have to Ask

_Author's note: This chapter was probably the trickiest I've found to write, and I have to thank the ladies of the Writer's Block Party for their invaluable assistance, especially Tmtcltb who gave me the key to finally unlocking it!_

 _Hope you enjoy, and as this will be the last update before Christmas, wishing all of my lovely readers happy holidays and epic new years!_

 **Chapter 29 – You Only Have to Ask**

When Tom woke, Sasha was already up, standing in the tiny kitchen area making coffee. He took a moment to appreciate the sight of her in nothing but one of his shirts, her hair mussed from sleep, and reflected on how much he'd like to wake up to this sight every single morning, preferably for the rest of their lives.

"Morning." He said, and she turned and smiled.

"Morning. I had a dream that a handsome Naval officer snuck into my apartment and got into bed with me."

He put on a sceptical look. "That sounds very unlikely."

She laughed and poured coffee into two mugs. "Thank you, though, for coming over. I like sleeping with you."

He smiled as she handed him a mug. "I like waking up with you."

"Do you have to go home for breakfast?"

He shook his head. "No, Ash knows where I am. It was her idea, actually."

Sasha looked surprised, but somehow not quite as surprised as he might have expected. Again, he had to dismiss the irrational thought that Ashley might have spoken to Sasha the night before.

"Well I'll have to thank her, then." Sasha said lightly, "Though maybe not specifically for this..." She set her coffee cup down and started to unbutton the shirt.

He set down his own coffee, pushing back the blankets and holding out his hand as she shed the shirt and settled onto his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Morning." She said softly, before kissing him, and he stroked her bare back as he tugged her bottom lip with his teeth, making her whimper.

Her hands moved to the hem of his t-shirt, pushing it upwards, and he took over and stripped it off before pulling her close again, feeling the softness of her breasts pressed against his bared chest. He kissed her neck, scraping her skin lightly with the stubble that had bloomed on his jaw overnight, and she hissed and tipped her head to the side, giving him greater access as he licked and nibbled his way down to her collarbone, gently pushing her back a little so he could move lower, his lips finally finding her breast.

"Tom…" She murmured, then whimpered as he teased her nipple with his teeth. He raised his head and looked at her, seeing her face a little flushed, her teeth biting her lower lip. He grabbed her waist firmly and rolled them over, so that she was pinned beneath him, and he kissed her once more before returning his attention to her breasts.

"Delicious breakfast," He declared, his voice slightly muffled against her skin, and she giggled. He ran his tongue down to her navel, dropping a kiss there before progressing further south, her hands finding their way into his hair as she parted her legs obligingly.

"Oh god!" Her whole body bucked as he traced his tongue between her legs, seeking out her sweet spot, groaning as the taste of her flooded his mouth. He teased her gently, hearing her pant and gasp, her legs starting to tremble.

"Please!" She said, or rather demanded, and he obeyed, tonguing her hard as he felt her tense and then come apart, crying out softly.

He kissed his way back up her body, and as his mouth met hers she responded with a hungry kiss. It should have been a warning, because before he knew it she had flipped him onto his back, and climbed astride him, pushing down his boxers so she could take him inside her.

"Fuck! Sash!" The suddenness of her tight heat enveloping him almost made him lose control, and as she started to move on him with a swift rocking motion, he had to fight hard not to surrender. When she slipped her own hand between her legs, he grabbed her waist and lifted his hips, thrusting up hard, and as soon as she tipped her head back and shook with her climax, he let go with a shout of relief.

Sasha fell sideways onto the bed, breathing hard, and he managed to gather her up into his arms, kissing her softly with what was left of his strength.

"You are incredible." He murmured, and she smiled with satisfaction.

"You're not so bad yourself, sailor."

Tom was in the shower, water pounding satisfyingly hard onto his shoulders, when he faintly heard the ring of his cell phone. A moment later, Sasha was in the doorway with it in her hand.

"It's home - want me to answer it?"

"Please." He quickly started to rinse off, just in case there was a problem.

"Hello?" Sasha said into the phone, then he saw her face relax into a smile as she said, "Hi Sam. How are you?"

Tom shut off the water and opened the shower door, just as Sasha put her hand over the phone and looked at him, her smile gone and her eyes wide.

"Sam says did you come over here to ask me, and did I say yes?" She sounded a little incredulous, and a little nervous, and it sent a pang through his chest, at the same time that he was trying not to curse his son for jumping the gun. He held out his hand for the phone.

"Sammy? I'm going to be home later and I'll talk to you then, okay?" He didn't wait for his son's answer before hanging up.

He swallowed and saw how apprehensive Sasha looked, something probably mirrored in his own face. He quickly reached for a towel, wrapping it around his waist. If this had to happen now, he really didn't want to do it naked.

"So what is it you were supposed to ask me?" She prompted, her voice shaking just a little, and he tried to smile.

"Something I wanted to make a much better plan for than this. But I guess it's too late now." He pulled her close, trying to find the right words. "Sash, I told the kids last night that I want to marry you. They think it's a great idea, by the way-"

She gasped in a breath, but there was a smile dawning on her lips, and it gave him the courage to push on. "I was going to plan it all out, get a ring, do it properly. But it seems Sam couldn't wait."

She was really smiling now, and he smiled back and finally relaxed. Maybe it didn't matter that it was like this, maybe all that mattered was what he was about to say to her.

"Sasha, the moment I saw you again, it felt like fate was handing something back, after everything that had happened. I can't explain it any better than that. And these last few months, I know that's the case. I love you, I miss you when you're not around, and I want to wake up with you every morning." He took a breath, wondering if he was making any sense at all, but the intent look on her face and the tears in her eyes told him he was probably doing okay. "I want to be with you, I want to make a family with you," He watched her tears spill over even as her smile grew wider, "I want to marry you. So please will you marry me?"

She just nodded, and he wrapped his arms around her as she laughed and cried at the same time. "Yes." She managed after a moment, her voice muffled against his chest. "Yes, yes, yes."

He kissed her hair, stroking her back, filled with relief and elation, and when she raised her head and looked up at him, she was wearing the biggest smile.

"You did hear me say yes?" She checked, and then it was his turn to laugh, right before he kissed her breathless.

"You should call Sam back." She said, when their lips finally parted, and Tom handed her the cell phone.

"You do it."

She grinned and dialled, and he watched her smile as she greeted his son.

"So Sam, guess what? Your dad did ask me, and I said yes!"

Then Tom saw her face crease into confusion as she listened to Sam's excited voice on the other end.

"Okay then, I'll see you later." She said eventually, "Can't wait." Hanging up, she turned to him with a quizzical expression, "Tom, was there something else you were supposed to ask me?"

He tried to process what she was saying. "Something else?"

She started to laugh, "Because Sam seems to think you're all going bowling this afternoon - and you were supposed to ask me to come?"

He was speechless for a moment, taking in the fact that his whole proposal plan had gone awry just because he'd forgotten a five minute conversation with his son from a couple of days before. But then he looked at Sasha, laughing, beautiful, and soon to be his wife, and he started to laugh himself, pulling her back into his arms as she grinned up at him.

"Well thank you Sam," She said, "Thank you very much indeed."


	30. Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo

_Author's note: So, happy new year! I spent some time over the holidays thinking about the ending to this story, and I reckon there are maybe three or four chapters left, plus an epilogue (I love an epilogue)._

 _In case you missed it, I wrote two standalone (well kind of) Christmas stories – 'Step into Christmas' and 'Last Christmas', which you can find on the main board. The first one is smutty, the second one is angsty, so something for everyone…_

 _Hope you enjoy this new chapter, thank you as always for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 30 – Eeny, Meeny, Miney, Mo…**

Mike Slattery had been having such a good day. First off, his infant son had slept through the night without so much as a squeak, so he'd woken up feeling refreshed for once. He'd also woken up wrapped around his beautiful wife, which wasn't unusual in itself, but it was rare that the cause of their waking wasn't a screaming baby, and therefore it wasn't often that he was able to savour the moment, holding her close and watching those brown eyes blink open as she smiled up at him. And after that, well, it wasn't so much of a surprise that he ended up on his back with Rachel on top of him, giving him the kind of wake up call that most men can only dream of.

So by the time he got to work, he was in an excellent mood, and somehow that continued all day, with not a single person doing anything stupid or irritating enough to shake him out of it. Even the fact that Rachel had insisted on hosting an engagement dinner for Tom and Sasha that night didn't bother him. Under the circumstances, he was almost looking forward to it. If he was honest, he was also secretly pleased that Tom had already asked him to be Best Man.

"Won't it be strange?" He'd queried, "After I did it the last time?"

But the CNO had shaken his head. "You're my best friend, I want you up there with me. Sasha understands that too."

And the party itself - with not only Tom, Sasha, Tex and Nina, but all of the kids too, including his own daughter and her boyfriend - turned out to be a really good one. So all in all, by the time he was taking a bathroom break in the late evening, pleasantly full of food and drink, and still able to hear the laughter of their guests through the door, he was feeling pretty damn good.

Reaching into his pocket to check his cell phone, he found a crumpled piece of paper, and after squinting at it for a second, balled it up and threw it in the direction of the waste basket. He missed, so stooped to pick it up and drop it in, and that's when he saw it. A small item in the trash, half hidden, that might be about to not only ruin his excellent day, but send shockwaves far into his future. Swallowing slightly, he reached for the white plastic stick, and turned it over. Helpfully, it was one of the ones with words instead of lines, and the verdict was clear: 'pregnant'.

Mike leaned back against the wall, reeling slightly, and took a deep breath. He guessed Rachel had been waiting until after the party to tell him, but there was no way he could go back out there and act normal now he knew. He eased the bathroom door open and walked silently down the corridor, glancing into the kitchen and feeling relieved when he saw Rachel there alone, pouring more drinks.

"Rachel." He hissed, and when she turned, he beckoned her, taking in her puzzled look as he gestured for her to follow him into their bedroom. As soon as the door closed behind them, he presented her with the pregnancy test.

"I don't mean to sound stupid, but how did this happen?" He kept his voice low, and tried not to betray any of the panic he was feeling. It wasn't as though Jamie had been planned - and he wouldn't give up his son for anything - but he'd really thought they were being a lot more careful these days. The idea of another baby was something they had both ruled out, or at least he'd thought they had.

"Where-" She started, and her forehead creased into a frown, "Was that in our bathroom?"

"It was in the trash. Why didn't-" And then he realised with a rush of relief, "It's not yours, is it?"

"No!" She confirmed in a fierce whisper. "Of course it isn't!"

"Oh thank God." He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed, letting out a loud breath, "I mean, I love Jamie, you know I do, but the thought of another round of diapers and screaming when we're not even done with this one-"

"I completely agree." She sat down next to him, grabbing his hand. "Trust me, we are taking no risks in that department." Her eyes narrowed, "But that means this belongs to someone else!"

He stifled a groan as he saw her gossip antenna come online, but then it dimmed just as quickly.

"Oh god," She whispered, "You don't think Lissy-"

All of the feelings Mike had been staving off when he'd thought the test was Rachel's came flooding back tenfold at the thought that it belonged to his daughter. Before Rachel could get a restraining hand to his arm, he was out of the door and heading back to the living room. Someone had put music on, and he used the cover of that and the volume of the enthusiastic chatter of the Chandler kids to confront his daughter in a heated whisper.

"Melissa Anne Slattery, have you got something you need to tell me?"

Lissy looked up at him, her expression entirely innocent, "What?"

He held out the test as discreetly as he could, but it was just unfortunate that Lissy's shocked response coincided with a break in the music.

"Dad! I'm not pregnant!"

Tom's head whipped around just as everyone else's did. He'd been enjoying swaying to the music with Sasha, almost dancing but not quite willing to do so in front of their family and friends. Three days into their engagement, he was still floating on air, and Sasha was the same, her smile more frequent than he'd ever seen it. But now, as he looked at Mike and Lissy, seeing the test half concealed in Mike's hand and immediately realising the implications, the eyes that flew to Sasha were full of shock.

Thankfully, she looked just as shocked as he did, and he felt immediately reassured, even more so when she quickly confirmed, "Nothing to do with me, sailor."

Tex felt himself compelled to look towards Kat, who had been spending an increasing amount of time with Ray Diaz, but her expression held nothing more than curiosity. Then he suddenly felt a hand grab his, and his eyes shot immediately to the pale face of his wife, who had been uncharacteristically quiet all evening. Nina was staring straight ahead, her expression impassive, only the tightness of her grip betraying her.

"I'm sorry, Kansas," She murmured, "I'm so sorry."


	31. Good Things

_Author's note: So, after that curve ball…_

 _Thank you all for continuing to read, review, follow and favourite. I love knowing what you think._

 **Chapter 31 - Good Things**

"I honestly don't know how this happened." Nina stared at her lap, and Tex squeezed her hand. He'd walked them both out of the party without a word to anyone - just a look at Kat which she'd returned with concern - and although he knew that meant their friends would have immediately worked out what was going on, he didn't give a shit. All he cared about right now was Nina.

"I have an implant," She dragged her free hand over her upper arm, "It should have been good for at least another year." Her voice broke, and he watched her swallow hard before she continued. "I know this isn't what we wanted, we talked about this-"

"You talked." He interrupted softly, because he needed to say it. "You were clear on what you wanted, and I respected that."

She looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

"Callaghan, if you'd told me you wanted to have a kid, I would have been just fine with that. You told me you didn't want to, I was fine with that too. I'm happy either way."

"How can you say that?" She looked at him sceptically.

He tried to make her understand. "Darlin', I told you once that Kat was the best thing I ever did, and that's true. Nothing else compares. And you're my girl, you're the one, why wouldn't I want to do something that great with you? But what I want the most is for you to be happy. So if having a baby would make you happy, I'd have a baby with you, hell, I'd have a dozen, but if it wouldn't make you happy, then I wouldn't want to do it."

She shook her head slowly, then leaned forward, letting her head come to rest against his chest, her voice muffled as she said, "How did I deserve you, Kansas? I really don't."

"Sure you do." He kissed the top of her head, "You deserve good things, Callaghan."

"I never let myself want..." Her voice was so quiet that he struggled to hear her.

"Want what, darlin'?"

She took a breath and pushed herself upright, and he watched her visibly pull it together. Nina was outwardly so tough that even he sometimes forgot just how vulnerable she could be under the surface.

"I've been blown up, shot, had a Jeep roll over on me… Come on Kansas, you've seen the scars, the state of me," She gestured helplessly towards her torso. "How could I ever think I'd be able to have a baby? I mean, if there is one in there now, what is the likelihood of that even-" She stopped, swallowed, and he almost interrupted, but then she continued, "Why would I get my hopes up? Why would I dare to plan something or want something that there is no way my body could deliver?"

He might not have cried over the apocalypse, but now Tex felt kind of like crying. Instead he reached out and pulled her into his arms, roughly kissing her hair.

"You deserve to hope for that. You deserve good things." He said again.

"I've got you." She said, and he held her even tighter. "That's my good thing."

"You got me, and now you got a baby – if you want one."

"You're not listening." Her voice was almost a plea as she looked up at him, "There is no way that-"

He stopped her before she could finish the sentence. "Says who? Any doctor ever tell you that?"

After a second she shook her head slightly.

"Well then, Callaghan," He said, "How about we see what one of those has to say before you rule this out?"

She sighed and dropped her head back onto his shoulder. "Please don't get your hopes up, Kansas, I can't bear to disappoint you like that."

"You could never disappoint me." He replied firmly, and he meant every word. But that didn't mean he couldn't secretly hope she was wrong.

Upstairs, a wide eyed Ashley was still processing recent events with a stream of chatter.

"I can't believe Uncle Mike thought it was Lissy! She's way too smart for that!"

Sasha tried not to flush, thinking of her own near miss, and how careless she and Tom had been on occasion. "It only takes once." She replied, unconsciously echoing words Tom had said to her at the time.

Ash just rolled her eyes. "Yeah, obviously. But everyone knows-"

"Come on Ash, bed." Tom interrupted finally, in a voice that wasn't open to question.

Once the teenager had retreated reluctantly into her bedroom, he pulled Sasha down onto the couch.

"Did you know?" He asked, "I know you two are close."

"I really didn't." Sasha reassured him. "I don't think anyone did."

"It'll be rough on them." Tom said. "Not having planned for it. It was on Mike and Rachel, I know."

Sasha almost told him what Nina had said about not wanting children, but she didn't like to betray a confidence. Besides, Nina had never completely convinced her on that score.

"It's a big decision." She said instead, "Now more than ever."

Tom stroked her cheek, gently making her look at him. "It's one I'm still very open to, once we're married, if you still-"

"Yes." She said quickly. "Yes."

He leaned in and kissed her softly, "When the time is right, there's nothing I'd like more." He murmured, and she smiled.

"Me too. Tiny Tomsha babies."

"Tomsha?!" He asked incredulously, and she laughed.

"Ash says we need a celebrity couple name. It's a thing, apparently."

He shuddered. "If I never hear that again, it'll be too soon."

She laughed at the expression on his face, and snuggled into his arms. "As long as they get your good looks, our babies will be fine."

He kissed the top of her head. "You'd better hurry up and marry me then, otherwise baby Tina will be kicking our kid's ass."

"Tina?"

He started to laugh, "Tex and Nina? Right?"

Downstairs, Rachel knocked gently on the door of Tex and Nina's apartment, half expecting it not to be answered. But after a few moments, Tex opened the door, managing a half smile for her.

"Doc?"

"Are you okay? Is Nina?"

He shrugged, but it lacked his normal ease. "What can I say? I'm on board, she's convinced it's not a possibility."

"I know. She's always said that."

"I can hear you both talking." Nina called out from inside the apartment. "I'm allegedly pregnant, not deaf."

Tex opened the door wider and gestured Rachel inside, but she shook her head.

"The best thing I can do for you is call Doctor Patrick, get her to see you both first thing tomorrow." She touched Tex's arm. "Talking in circles isn't going to help."

There was something helpless about his shrug, and it made her swallow hard before she leaned in to hug him tight.

Rachel was as good as her word, and after a night in which Tex was convinced he hadn't slept for more than ten minutes at a stretch, and pretty sure Nina hadn't slept at all, they were in the doctor's office at 8am. Tex had met Doctor Patrick when she'd been Rachel's doctor during her pregnancy with Jamie, and he found her just as calming now as she had been to Rachel when she'd collapsed after hearing the news of Mike's capture in Vietnam.

"How far along do you think you are?" She asked, and Nina winced.

"I have no idea." She ran her fingers over her upper arm in what was becoming a familiar gesture. "This was supposed to mean I never had to worry about it."

"Well, once we've done the ultrasound, I'll whip that out for you, and I can have a look at what went wrong. But how long have you been having symptoms? Something made you take a test."

"I was ruling it out." Nina said quietly. "I've just felt a bit... off. And I saw the test in the drugstore, and I just..." she trailed off. "I don't have any answers." She said with a sudden burst of frustration.

"Okay," The doctor said calmly, "Well then let's do the ultrasound, and we'll see what we're working with."

Nina gave a little snort, "So Rachel filled you in, then?"

"She said you'd had serious injuries in the past, and you believed these would have compromised your ability to have children."

Something in Doctor Patrick's matter of fact delivery seemed to take the heat out of Nina, and Tex watched her acquiesce.

Ten minutes later it was the Doctor's face he was watching as she stared at a screen deliberately tilted so that neither he nor Nina could see it, one of her hands manipulating the ultrasound scanner over Nina's lower belly, and the other clicking through what he assumed were images of Nina's insides. His heart was in his throat as Nina held tight to his hand.

"Okay." Doctor Patrick stopped clicking, and for a moment Tex stopped breathing. "Well, one of your ovaries has definitely been severely damaged at some point, but the other looks absolutely fine, which explains how you were able to get pregnant."

Tex tried not to let out his breath too loudly at the confirmation.

"And," The doctor continued, "Your uterus is also looking absolutely fine, which is good because there's an eleven to twelve week foetus in there."

"What?" Nina's voice was rough and tinged with disbelief.

"Eleven to twelve weeks," The doctor repeated, "Looking normal and healthy for this stage of development."

Tex looked at Nina and then at the doctor, and then at Nina again.

"Healthy?" Nina repeated, and Doctor Patrick calmly repeated the word again.

"Healthy. Normal. Everything developing as expected. I'd like to remove that implant, and I'd like to run a hormone level test, but that's just a precaution. At this point I would say there is no obvious reason why this pregnancy could not successfully run its course, medically speaking." For the first time she hesitated, "Would you like to see the foetus?"

Tex had been wondering why she wasn't referring to it as a baby, and then he realised - this is how doctors speak when they aren't sure if the baby is wanted. His stomach rolled and he swallowed hard, keeping his eyes on Nina.

After what seemed like a hundred years, she gave the smallest nod, and the doctor turned the monitor so they could see the grainy image.

He remembered doing this with Claire when she was pregnant with Kathleen, her face radiant with joy and his own feelings swinging between excitement, fear and blind panic. He felt a similar mix of emotions now, but as he watched Nina reach out and touch the baby on the screen with her finger, everything else was washed away by a surge of love. She turned to him, her face streaked with tears and her eyes full of something that brought a lump to his throat.

"Good things?" She managed, and he caught her in a rough embrace as best he could, given her position on the bed.

"Good things, Callaghan." He affirmed, as she pressed her face into his chest. "All the good things."


	32. Moving On

_Author's note: The end is in sight, and I don't know if I'm sad or excited about that!_

 _I hope you enjoy this next chapter, and please do review if so._

 **Chapter 32 – Moving On**

"Kansas keeps trying to fetch me things," Nina commented, settling cross-legged onto Rachel's couch. "It's kind of frustrating."

"But you kind of like it?" Sasha asked, seeing the smile playing at the corners of Nina's mouth.

"A bit." The redhead shook her head a little. "I'm still trying to process it all, to be honest."

Rachel came into the room with two mugs of coffee, handing them over to her friends.

"Sasha, this one for you; and Nina, decaf for you…"

Nina grimaced. "I am not enjoying this part; I miss caffeine already. It doesn't help that I'm permanently exhausted."

"That gets better soon." Rachel offered, settling onto the couch next to her. "Until you get so big you can't sleep for having to pee every thirty minutes."

"Brilliant." Nina grumbled, but the slight smile and the way she tucked her hand over the subtle curve of her stomach told a different story.

Sasha felt almost a little envious as she asked, "How's Tex doing with it?"

"He's over the moon." Nina laughed, "I don't think there's a single person in St Louis that he hasn't told. As soon as we got the all clear on the hormone test and the other bloodwork Doctor Patrick wanted to run, he barely had time to kiss me before he sprinted off to spread the news."

"He's going to be a great dad." Rachel said, "He is already is."

"Yes, lucky, given that I have zero experience of good parenting." Nina said drily. "I'm just planning to keep it alive, anything else will be a bonus."

"You'll be just fine." Rachel reassured her. "Mike and I have kept Jamie alive for the best part of a year now, and we're no more qualified than you."

Sasha smiled, staying silent and continuing to fight off a hint of jealousy.

"Speaking of which…" Rachel continued to Nina, "In the interests of developing your parenting skills and supporting me as your friend, is there any chance you'd want to babysit this weekend?"

Nina raised an eyebrow. "Plans?"

Rachel sighed, "Mike said, and I quote, 'why can't we have a single goddamn week without any goddamn drama', and then stomped off to run exercises at the training camp. That was two days ago, and he's still there because apparently no one else is capable of instilling the necessary discipline." She looked over at Sasha, then back to Nina. "I'm wary of saying this when you're both heading towards starting a family, but it's hard and I miss my husband."

Rachel normally had it so together that Sasha felt almost shocked to hear her admit to having difficulties. "We'll babysit if Nina can't." She offered immediately, and Nina smiled.

"I'm happy to get the practice, but maybe we could do something together on Saturday?" She suggested, looking at Sasha. "Split the responsibility of keeping him alive?"

"Thank you." Rachel said quietly, and her voice broke as she added, "I just really need time with Mike, just us."

Nina put her arm around her friend and squeezed. "Of course you do. Hell, you end up being the sounding board for everyone, keeping the rest of us together," She glanced at Sasha, "And we forget that you're being a mum, and a scientist, and the saviour of the human race, all at the same time."

Rachel managed a teary little laugh, "Thank you. Both of you."

"Of course." Sasha said softly.

"Anyway!" Rachel sat up straight, taking a breath, "Wedding plans, Sasha!"

Sasha took the hint, and took a gulp of coffee before updating them. "Well, so far all we've established is that Ashley is going to be my chief bridesmaid, with Lissy to boss around as the second, and that Sam really, really doesn't want to be a 'boy bridesmaid'."

"You asked Kat too, right?" Nina smirked.

Sasha laughed, "Yep. She was very gracious in her absolute refusal! But she did offer to sit with Sam in the front row and keep him company, which is kind."

"Have you decided on a date?" Rachel asked.

"Well, that's the other thing." Sasha took a deep breath. "Tom and I are going to look at a house this afternoon. It's out of the city, an old farmhouse. If we like it, then we thought we might have the wedding there in a few months, once we fix it up."

"You're moving out?" Both Nina and Rachel said at once, and Sasha bit her lip.

"Not straight away, but yes. There's an outbuilding we can convert into a little house for Jed, and there's more room for the kids, and… more kids. In the future." She couldn't believe it, but she was blushing. "I mean, we haven't seen it yet, just some pictures, but-"

"It sounds great." Rachel said decisively. "Just what you need."

Nina nodded agreement. "To be honest-" She hesitated, "-Kansas and I have been talking about doing the same. Finding somewhere outside the city. As soon as Kat turns seventeen she'll be joining up and moving onto the base, but it would be good to find a real home, one she can come back to. One the kid can grow up in."

"I was going to talk to Mike at the weekend." Rachel said quietly. "About a house. Here in the city, I want to stay close to the lab, but now that they've cleared more neighbourhoods, it would be nice to have more space." She smiled slightly. "The end of an era."

"The start of a new one." Nina countered. "The world is moving forward Rach, so are all of us."

A couple of hours later, Tom's car rolled down the long dirt track driveway to the farmhouse, and Sasha's mouth dropped open.

"It's huge!"

Tom chuckled, laying a hand on her knee. "You didn't get that from the pictures?"

"Yes, but..." She fell silent as she took in the tall building, broad and sturdy, with two smaller outbuildings beyond it.

"Too much?" Tom's face reformed into a frown, and she squeezed his hand to reassure him.

"No, no, I don't think so." As they pulled up outside, and she saw how weathered the building looked up close, she had to try harder to keep the smile on her face.

"It's going to need some work." Tom voiced the same concerns that were filling Sasha's head. "But structurally it's sound, and inside it shouldn't need much doing."

She nodded and climbed out of the car, walking slowly towards the porch. Tom caught up with her and unlocked the door, before standing back to let her enter first.

Inside, ignoring the considerable accumulation of dust and dirt, the house was beautiful. It had clearly been remodelled within the last few years, creating an open plan space that flowed seamlessly from entrance through living room to kitchen in the rear. The proportions were perfect, the windows large, and the curving staircase to the second floor looked to be the work of a master craftsman. Suddenly, Sasha could see them here. Living together, raising a family, having this escape from the work they both did. She walked across the room to look out of the French windows at the back, onto an overgrown lawn shaded by a couple of tall trees.

"Treehouse." She murmured, almost to herself, but Tom overheard.

"That'll be a good project for Dad." He commented. "The kids can help." She turned and smiled, and he stepped close, wrapping her in his arms. "What do you think?"

"I love it." She said honestly. "It feels right, somehow."

"We should look upstairs."

On the second floor, they found two similar sized bedrooms that would be perfect for Ashley and Sam, a family bathroom, and another bedroom, this one smaller but flooded with light from a south facing window.

"Nursery." Tom said firmly, and Sasha melted against him.

"Really?"

"I think so, don't you?" He kissed her. "We can put guest space in the other outbuilding, next to Dad's. This house is for us, and our family."

Leading her up a further flight of stairs, they found the master bedroom in what had once been the attic. The sloping ceiling now had large skylights, and the room ran the whole length of the house, with its own bathroom at one end.

Sasha finally found herself asking the question she'd been trying to avoid. "Who did it belong to?"

"The owners were selling." Tom replied. "They'd moved to another state already. I've seen all of the paperwork that was lodged with the bank."

"But they didn't make it?"

"No." He shook his head. "That's why it's available under the reclamation scheme."

She fell silent for a moment, the tragedy of the virus weighing heavily for those few seconds, and then she felt Tom's arms wrap around her waist from behind.

"If it isn't the right house, just tell me." He said softly.

"It is the right house." She answered, knowing it was true. "We should live here."

He tightened his embrace, and she leant her head back against his shoulder. "Good." He kissed her neck, and Sasha felt a shiver of pleasure run through her.

Tom chuckled slightly against her skin and kissed her again, grazing her with his teeth, and she couldn't contain a tiny whimper as one of his hands edged up to stroke the underside of her breast.

"What are you doing?" She asked, a little breathlessly.

"This is going to be our bedroom…" He cupped her breast fully, gently teasing her nipple through her shirt, "We're going to be married here. We're going to make babies here…" He suddenly grabbed her waist and spun her so she was facing him, pressed tight against his body, "And so I think we should start practising as soon as possible."

She couldn't help laughing at his daring grin, but then she couldn't help kissing him either.

"At night we can see the sky, through there." She raised her face to look up at the skylight windows.

"We can make love under the stars." Tom murmured, and she melted into him, kissing him again, not even slightly protesting as he started unbuttoning her shirt.

"We're really going to do this?" She asked, as her shirt and bra hit the floor and she helped him pull his sweater and t-shirt over his head.

"Absolutely." He answered, grinning again, and the promise in his tone made her hurry to kick off her boots and peel off her jeans, while Tom was doing the same. As soon as they were both naked, he lifted her into his arms and pressed her back into the wall, her legs wrapping around his waist as he kissed her long and hard.

It was a little frantic, and definitely naughty, but there was an undercurrent of tenderness that made Sasha cling to Tom as he pushed slowly inside her, gasping at the feeling of it.

"I love you." He murmured into her ear as he began to move, and she could only whimper, seeking out his mouth again as she tightened her legs around his waist.

"I love you," She gasped, tilting her hips and finding just the right angle as Tom groaned.

It was fast and sweet and hard and tender, all at the same time, and when her climax hit and she arched in his arms, trusting Tom to hold her up, Sasha somehow knew with absolute certainty that they had found their home, not just in the house, but in each other.


	33. What Happens on the Third Date

_Author's note: So I know this is really Tom and Sasha's story, but you're going to have to indulge me for a chapter here. I love TomSha, Tex and Nina melt my heart, but Mike and Rachel have always been, and will always be, my first love. And I think they deserve some time together before this story comes to a close._

 _Thank you, as always, for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 33 - What Happens on the Third Date**

Mike stared down at the text message from Rachel. He knew he must be missing something, but he couldn't figure out what on earth it meant.

 _You know what happens on the third date, don't you?_

Sighing, he picked up the phone and called her. Definitely better to look stupid and ask, than guess wrong and get into trouble.

"Let me guess," She said, without giving him a chance to speak, "You can't understand my message." She sounded like she was smiling though.

"Yeah. What's the third date? Did I miss our anniversary or something?"

She laughed. "No. But if you come home tonight, I'll show you. Six o'clock, don't be late." And then she hung up.

Kara Green knocked lightly on his open office door, bearing coffee.

"Thought you might need this. You haven't slept in, what, seventy two hours?"

"I slept." He eyed the couch in the corner. His office at the training camp was far less well appointed than the one he shared with Tom at military headquarters. Suddenly, something occurred to him.

"You're a woman." He said, and Kara raised her eyebrows.

"Last time I checked, sir."

He decided to press on, "Does the phrase 'you know what happens on the third date' mean anything to you?"

Kara visibly struggled to keep a straight face. "I believe in the tradition of dating, the third date is often when someone... stays the night."

"Oh. Right." He had a feeling he was turning red. "Thank you, Commander."

"No problem, sir." As Kara retreated, he could have sworn he heard a burst of laughter.

He wracked his brain for a moment, and then he remembered. He almost called Rachel, but decided to save it for when he saw her, instead.

When he arrived home on the dot of six, he went through his usual routine of trying not to make too much noise opening the door in case Jamie was asleep, but to his surprise, Rachel was waiting for him in the hallway, wearing a cotton robe.

"Hey, sweetheart." He wondered if he'd interpreted the message incorrectly after all.

She smiled. "Hello. I'm glad you came home."

"I wasn't staying away-" He began, but she shook her head.

"I know. I've made a plan." She told him. "And for once, you're going to be following orders rather than giving them. Okay?"

He nodded, intrigued. "Where's Jamie?" He asked.

"He's gone away for the weekend." She started to smirk, "Vegas, I think he said. Play some blackjack, see a show…"

Mike chuckled, "So in bed, then?"

"No, he really is having a weekend away." She stepped closer to him. "He's staying with Tex and Nina, they're willing babysitters."

"And we're going on our third date." Mike was sure now.

"So you did work it out?"

"With a little help." He admitted, reaching out and pulling her into his arms. "I'm sorry-" He started, but she put her finger over his lips.

"Don't. I told you, there's a plan. Deep conversations are not part of tonight's plan."

"What is?"

"You remember when we first looked at this apartment, we marvelled at the bathtub?"

He couldn't contain a grin. "I do."

"Do you realise we've never actually taken advantage of it?"

"We must have-" He began to argue, but then he realised she was right. Between the pregnancy, and his ill-fated trip to Asia, and then Jamie being born, they never had.

"Come on." She took his hand and led him into the bathroom, where the tub was already filled with fragrant steaming water, and music was playing softly from her iPod.

"I remember this." He said slowly. It was a rat pack compilation he'd chosen when they'd just moved into the apartment, on an afternoon when they were both playing hooky from work to spend time alone together.

"Remember this?" She asked softly, and dropped the robe. He stood momentarily speechless as she stepped into the tub, hiding all of that smooth pale skin under the water. "Come on," She smiled, "Keep me company."

Never had a uniform hit the floor so fast, and he was soon settled in the bath behind her, his arms wrapped around her middle as they relaxed in the warm water. Her head was resting on his shoulder, and he kissed her steam dampened hair, watching the way it curled a little in the heat, tendrils escaping her topknot and sticking to her neck.

"I missed you." He could hear the smile in her voice, but something tentative too. "And I don't just mean the last few days."

"I missed you too." He said honestly, "These last few days and…" He fought the instinct to stop there, reminded himself that he had always made an effort to communicate with Rachel, not to repeat past mistakes of keeping it all to himself. "There's always too much going on. Last week we had the first good day in a long time, and it ended with a surprise pregnancy. It's too much damn drama." He sighed. "I want this, just this. I miss this."

She was silent, and he suddenly realised he might have fucked up.

"I'm not talking about Jamie." he added quickly. "I wouldn't change him for anything. But things need to get back to normal. Some kind of normal."

He felt her hands come up to hold his arms around her waist. "When you decided to stay on land, for us to be a family, I suppose I had an image in my head of something 'normal' too. We had such a dramatic beginning-" She paused, "Oh god, I wasn't planning to have the serious conversations until tomorrow! Tonight was supposed to be about relaxing."

"It is relaxing," He reassured her. "Maybe that's why we can talk about it."

"Maybe." She conceded. "It's just…"

He could see a slight flush creeping up the side of her face that was visible to him. "What?" he asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Well, the last time we took a bath together, you…"

"Oh!" He caught on with a grin. "I did, didn't I?" He unwrapped one arm from around her waist, gently stroking his hand over her skin. "You turned that day around. I walked into that room," His hand found her breast, stroking gently, "And there you were in the bathtub, and everything else just went away."

She gave a little moan of agreement, and he moved his other hand downwards, between her parted thighs, feeling for her sweet spot.

"You still do that," He murmured as he touched her gently, "You might not know it, but you still make all of the shit worthwhile."

She gasped, her hips moving into his caress, and he kissed her neck as he continued to stroke her.

"And I still love doing this to you," He added softly, "Even if I don't do it enough."

She tensed and trembled, and he felt the moment she came, his name coming from her lips in a breathy cry.

"I'm so tired." Rachel admitted when they finally climbed out of the bath, and he put his arms around her.

"So am I." He agreed. "And I need my beauty sleep for our date tomorrow, right?"

She laughed, "Right."

"So tonight, let's just sleep. No alarm, no crying baby, see if we can sleep through till noon."

"Don't you want to…" She ran her hand down his chest suggestively, but he caught it in his.

"Let's wait until tomorrow." He said, though in truth it nearly killed him.

In the event, they managed to sleep until 2pm the following afternoon, wrapped up in each other, waking occasionally only to shift position, cuddle closer, and share a sleepy kiss. When Mike finally swum into full wakefulness, it was with Rachel draped across his chest, her head right over his heart. He stroked her back gently as she raised her head and smiled sleepily up at him.

"Good morning beautiful." He said, smiling back.

"Afternoon." She said with lazy satisfaction. She sat up and stretched, and he appreciated every inch of naked skin on show.

"So far," He commented, "I'm really enjoying your plan. Want to give me my orders for today?"

"We're leaving for dinner at six. Somewhere nice. Dress accordingly." She smiled. "Until then, I'll be getting a haircut." He opened his mouth to comment, but she laughed. "Nothing drastic, I promise."

Not only was Rachel sporting a new haircut when she returned, her long locks tamed and shaped and perfectly framing her face, but she was also wearing a garment that sent instant sparks through him.

"That skirt…" He ran his eyes over the curve of her hips, perfectly showcased by the khaki pencil skirt that he'd seen her wear only twice before - on their first and second dates.

She gave him the naughty smile that invariably raised his heart rate all on its own. "We have a date, I wear a skirt. I'm not breaking that rule." She ran her eyes over him, taking in the smart pants, shirt and jacket. "And you've made a corresponding effort, I see." She held out a hand. "Come on, let's go."

At first he was confused when she led him upstairs towards Tom's apartment, thinking for a terrible moment that she'd invited Tom along, to get back at him for the fact their second date had in fact been a double date with Tom and Kelly Tophet. But as she proceeded up the stairs to the roof, he caught on and started to smile.

The roof terrace had miraculously gained a table for two, beautifully laid and lit by tall gas burners that provided extra heat as well. Mike laughed incredulously as they settled into their seats.

"This was all you?"

"I had help." Rachel smiled, as Bernie Cowley stepped from the shadows and laid two plates on the table.

"Dessert is on the trolley just there," Cowley told them, "Help yourselves when you're ready."

"Thank you, Bacon." Rachel beamed up at him, and the big man smiled back as he left the roof.

Mike shook his head. "You had to bring our fairy godmother in on the action, huh?"

"Always." She smiled. "After all, we wouldn't have had our first date without him."

"Let's not talk about the second date, though." He pleaded, and she laughed.

"Okay, let's just enjoy our third."

It wasn't that he'd forgotten how much he loved talking to his wife, it was more that they were so seldom able to do it like this - relaxed, meandering from topic to topic, no need to discuss practicalities, no risk of being interrupted by a crying baby or a knock at the door or yet more drama from their friends. The terrace was filled with laughter as they ate and drank and talked and enjoyed each other's company.

Finally, when it was getting cold despite the burners, when the bottle of wine was empty and every scrap of food eaten, Mike stood and held out his hand for Rachel.

"Let's go home." He pulled her close. "Because yes, I do know what happens on the third date."

Back in their apartment, he started to kiss her as soon as the door closed behind them, and she pressed tight against him.

"You have history with this skirt." She murmured, and he laughed.

"I have vivid memories, trust me." He kissed her again, then drew back a little, cupping her face in his hands. "But will you be very disappointed if I tell you that this time I'd like you out of it-"

"Instead of on a desk or couch still wearing it?" She queried with that naughty smile, and he nodded.

"You, naked, in our bed. That sounds better to me right now than any half dressed gymnastics."

"Me too." She murmured, and tilted her face up to his for another kiss.

He remembered referring to this once as the old fashioned way, as he wrapped Rachel up in his arms, laying over her, his lips locked with hers as they kissed, his hips moving slowly, stroking into her as she trembled and dug her fingers into his back.

"You're so perfect," He murmured, close to overwhelmed by the feeling of her, her warmth and softness.

"I love you so much…" She murmured back, moaning softly as he moved a little faster, a little harder.

"I love you too sweetheart…" He gasped as she tightened around him, and then it all became heat, and skin, and closeness, and nothing but the two of them, until she arched and cried out, and he let go, shouting her name.

"Promise me we won't forget this again." She said softly as they lay together afterwards, his arms tight around her, her fingers tracing patterns on his chest.

"Never." He affirmed. "I promise."

"I promise too." She kissed right over his heart, and he closed his eyes, vowing silently. He was never going to risk losing Rachel. Never.


	34. Enjoying the View

_Author's note: Another step closer to the end! Tmtcltb perfectly described this stage of writing as bittersweet - it's a great feeling to be tying up the loose ends and bringing the story to a close, but I'll miss this story very much when I'm done._

 _This penultimate chapter is a little interlude really, and an excuse for me to imagine our leading men with their shirts off. Enjoy!_

 _Thank you for reading, following, favouriting, and particularly reviewing._

 **Chapter 34 – Enjoying the View**

"Now that's what I call a view!" Nina grinned, leaning back in her lawn chair, and Sasha and Rachel laughed.

"Can't disagree with you." Sasha smirked, "I'm trying to work out how we incorporate it into the wedding."

"Dress code?" Rachel asked with a raised eyebrow. "Dress whites on the bottom, nothing on top?"

"Except the cover. I'd keep the cover." Sasha laughed.

On the scaffolding platform halfway up the side of Tom and Sasha's farmhouse, Mike grunted.

"They're looking at us."

"They're perving on us." Tex corrected. He turned and gave a strongman pose to the three women on the lawn below, their laughter carrying upwards.

"I'm putting my shirt back on." Mike reached for his t-shirt, but then couldn't help laughing at the loudly exaggerated groan of disappointment from his wife.

"Give in to it." Tom shrugged, and Tex agreed.

"Three beautiful women want to watch you paint a house? Worse ways to spend a weekend."

Mike sighed and put the t-shirt down again, picking up his paintbrush. "I've got a new house of my own to take care of as well, don't forget."

"Ah, but since you quit your job, you have more time, right?" Tex grinned.

"I did not quit my job-" Mike started, but Tom interrupted.

"He only quit one of his jobs. I still have to put up with him all day, even if the recruits don't."

"I could just retire, if it's such an inconvenience having me around." Mike retorted, and Tom held up his hands.

"Not even as a joke, Mike, please."

Mike turned his head and looked down at Rachel. "So long as I'm home for dinner, I'll keep saving your ass from the paperwork."

Down on the lawn, Rachel was watching as Ashley helped Jamie toddle a few steps towards the house before he plopped back to a sitting position.

"When did that happen?" Sasha asked in surprise.

"The week after our special weekend." Rachel smiled. "Mike came home and said he was giving up his role at the training camp, and Jamie decided to walk over to congratulate him."

Sasha smiled too, her eyes on Ashley as the teenager made faces at Jamie, inciting giggles.

"How do you think Ash will be with a new brother or sister?" Nina asked.

"I want to say she'd like it, but honestly, I suspect mainly jealous." Sasha said slowly. "Then again, she's really surprised us the last couple months. She's been so mature about the engagement, the house..."

"Maybe Kat's rubbed off on her." Nina commented. "She's been so relaxed about everything - new stepmother, new baby, moving plans... It's hard to believe she's only sixteen."

"Survivors." Rachel said. "Lissy's the same, sixteen going on thirty. Mike panics about her moving too quickly with Aaron, but actually I think she's more sensible than we were."

"Kat's the same with Ray." Nina agreed, "She's barely let the poor kid hold her hand, and he's like a lovesick puppy. She says her preparation for joining the Corps is too important to be disrupted by a boy. Would that we were that smart."

"Speak for yourself!" Sasha protested, "Tom isn't disrupting anything."

"Oh really?" Nina looked at her sceptically, "Don't see you hurrying to consolidate your position at the NIS, and don't think I didn't see those old copies of Martha Stewart Living in your bag."

"Ha ha." Sasha chuckled reluctantly, "I surrender on the job front, but that's more about the nature of what's on offer than Tom, and you know full well those magazines were wedding ones-"

"Gotcha!" Nina crowed, "You admit it!"

Rachel giggled, "You walked right into that one, Sasha." But then her tone turned more serious. "It's okay, you know, to want those things. I love my work, I'd never be without it, but I want my family too. It's a balance; we're still working that out."

"You're doing it well, Rach." Nina said, "With the new house, and Mike cutting back on work."

Rachel's eyes drifted back to Mike, his muscular back already gaining a tan from the sun. "We're getting there."

Sasha took the opportunity to let her own eyes rove over Tom, the way his old jeans hung low, the flex of his arms as he wielded the paintbrush confidently. Sure, she got to see him with his shirt off all the time, but hell, this was hot. No denying it.

"I'm lucky to be freelance," Nina commented, "Makes it a lot easier. And Tex seems pretty happy doing security. Lucky, because the idea of being left alone too much with this one," She gestured to her growing stomach, "Terrifies me."

"You'll be fine." Rachel and Sasha said at the same time.

"Seriously," Rachel reassured, "You work it out as you go along. You said it yourself - keep it alive, the rest follows."

"Him." Nina said, with an uncharacteristic blush. "It's a boy. We just found out. I wasn't going to say anything, but…"

"And now the whole world will know, because you just told Rachel." Sasha said, but she softened it with a grin, and Rachel just shrugged.

"Congratulations." She said, reaching up to squeeze Nina's knee. "Boys are great. Not that I've tried a girl."

"They pee in your face though, right? Boys?" Sasha asked, and Rachel laughed at Nina's horrified expression.

"Afraid so. And in any other direction they choose. Jamie managed to get me in the eye once-"

"No!" Nina cried, half laughing, half horrified. "Now I'm grossed out as well as terrified!"

Ashley wandered over, Jamie in her arms. "What's so funny?"

"You've changed Jamie's nappy." Nina said, "Did he pee on you?"

Ashley giggled, "You mean his diaper? No, he peed on the bench. But I know he peed in Aunt Rachel's eye once!"

"Doomed." Nina dropped her face into her hands dramatically.

"Did you know Nina is having a boy?" Rachel asked Ash, and Sasha smirked to herself. Rachel really was a helpless gossip.

"Sweet!" Ash declared. "What's his name going to be?"

"Not telling." Nina smiled.

"It's weird," Ash said, "Me and Lissy and Kat are all girls, and then there's Sam on his own. And the new babies are all boys, so there should be a girl next." She looked at Sasha, "You and Dad should have a girl. Then we'd outnumber the boys in the house. That would be cool."

Sasha's mouth dropped open, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Nina and Rachel reacting in the same way.

Rachel recovered first. "Good point, Ash. It would be nice to have a little sister, I think."

"And she wouldn't pee in your eye." Nina noted.

"Got a date for the wedding yet?" Mike asked Tom, as they continued to slap paint onto the house.

"Got to get the house finished, plus the contractor says another three weeks at least to finish converting the outbuildings – even with Dad pitching in at every opportunity, and his willing helper, Sam. My son has decided he wants to be a carpenter when he grows up. So more like a couple months before we're ready for a wedding."

"If I can beg a favour," Tex said, "Do it before little Jack arrives."

"Little Jack?" Mike frowned in puzzlement, but Tom caught on.

"You're having a boy?"

"Yup." Tex hesitated for a second, which was unusual enough in itself for Mike and Tom to stop painting and look at him. "We thought Jack Thomas Nolan. If that'd be alright with you, Commodore."

Tom looked at his friend in surprise. "That would be an honour." He answered quietly.

"Honour enough to get the wedding done before he gets here to take over our lives?" Tex joked, but he clapped his hand on Tom's shoulder affectionately.

"Aw, look, they're bonding!" Sasha said, watching the men again.

"Come on boys, have a wrestle!" Nina hollered up to the platform, and everyone laughed, everyone except Ashley, who summed up her feelings in one word.

"Eeeeewwwww!"


	35. A Perfect Union

_Author's note: And so we come to the final chapter! Though there is an epilogue to follow._

 _I'll save my gushing for that, and for now just thank you all once again for reading, reviewing, following and favouriting._

 **Chapter 35 – A Perfect Union**

The sun shone brightly through the skylight windows, prompting Sasha's eyes to open. She rolled onto her side, her gaze drawn immediately to the dress hanging on the front of the closet, swathed in protective plastic. A beautiful vintage wedding dress, formed of silk and beading and a little bit of lace, altered to fit her perfectly. Then she turned onto her other side and looked at the groom, his face buried in the pillow against the daylight, one arm curled around his head. She smiled, joy bubbling up in her chest.

They'd finally moved into the farmhouse four weeks ago, over a month behind schedule, and Jed's new house had still been a construction site, so he'd been living with them in the main house right up until a week ago. Even so, the place already felt like home, and thankfully Ash and Sam had fallen in love with it just as quickly.

And now, finally, it was their wedding day. She looked at her sleeping fiancé and fought the urge to wake him. As soon as she did, she knew the schedule would kick in and the flurry of setting up and organising would start. Instead, she wanted to savour these few moments, the calm before the storm… Except it would be so much better if Tom could share it with her. She leaned over and kissed him softly, then as his eyes opened, she placed her finger over his mouth.

"Ten minutes?" She asked, "Before you go into CO mode?"

He nodded, and pulled her close, kissing her hair, and she relaxed into his embrace.

"You do it too." He pointed out quietly, and she laughed.

"I admit it. We both like to be in charge."

"Keeps it interesting." He kissed her hair again. "We do have a lot to do this morning though."

"I know. But the schedule is perfect, and we've got plenty of help." She raised her head and grinned at him, drinking in the handsome face and that special Tom smile. "So we can afford ten minutes." She dipped her face down to his and kissed him slowly, and he took the hint, taking hold of her waist firmly.

"Ten minutes?"

"It's a challenge, sailor. You up to it?"

By three o'clock that afternoon, everything was ready. Rows of chairs on the lawn were filled with family and friends; there was a lavish buffet laid out in the large white tent by Bernie Cowley and his team - who were excused from their duties at the White House for the day by virtue of the President being here at the wedding - and Tom was standing beside Mike in front of the lectern that had been found for the officiating chaplain, both men in spotless dress whites.

Sasha smoothed down her dress one more time, the glowing white fabric sitting perfectly over her hips and slinking down to her ankles, showcasing the pale pink heels borrowed from Rachel. She took a deep breath and Rachel smiled at her.

"It's going to be fine. Just keep your eyes on Tom." Her focus changed to Ash and Lissy, in the simple dark pink dresses they'd picked out. "Ready, you two?"

"Yes." Ash rolled her eyes, "It's just walking."

"Enough of that." Jed said firmly, offering his arm to Sasha. "Shall we do this?"

Sasha nodded, and Rachel leaned in to kiss her cheek before darting out onto the lawn to take her seat next to Mike.

Despite her friend's advice, Sasha didn't only look at Tom as Jed walked her down the grassy aisle. She did, of course, and the look on his face made her eyes prickle, but she couldn't help looking around at their guests too, faces from the Nathan James, from military HQ and the White House, and even a couple from the National Intelligence Service. Her gaze lingered on Mike and Rachel for a moment, on Tex and Nina, and on Sam's beaming face as he sat beside Kat, but then her eyes were drawn back to Tom, and this time she left them there.

Two sets of blue eyes, locked together, belonging to two people who had seen and suffered so much, and somehow found their way back to each other. During the opening words, the vows, the exchange of rings, and right through to the kiss at the end, their gaze never wavered from each other. It was only when Tom took hold of Sasha's hand to lead her back up the aisle that the spell was finally broken, with wide smiles and a sudden peal of laughter from the bride as the groom swept her into his arms and carried her across the lawn.

Sasha was reminded of Mike and Rachel's wedding as the afternoon turned to evening, the way the guests mingled and the champagne flowed, and the food disappeared, except that that day she'd still felt like something of an outsider, and she'd had to expend so much effort keeping up a front of total confidence. Now she felt relaxed, surrounded by genuine friends, her best friends most of all - Rachel and Nina, sat together laughing, Nina's hands cupped around her prominent belly, wincing at kicks.

Tom wrapped his arm around her, following her gaze to Nina.

"That'll be you soon enough." He promised, and she smiled up at him as he bent his head to kiss her.

"I'm not going to give up work though, you know." She warned, and he laughed.

"Never thought you would. In fact, since Mike's taken a step back, I wouldn't mind a conversation about a couple of different Navy roles that you might be interested in, if the NIS isn't working out for you."

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, not right now, but once I'm back behind my desk."

"Honeymoon first." She said firmly.

"Definitely. Speaking of which, when do you think we can get started with that?"

"Any time you like." She gave him a deliberately wicked smile. "But probably best to wait until at least the majority of our friends aren't here to watch?"

Later, Tom stood with Mike, watching Sasha enthusiastically participating in a display of terrible dancing with some of the younger guests, including Lissy, Aaron and Kat, and both of his children. Sam kept trying to teach Sasha hip hop move, and Tom was pretty sure she kept getting wrong on purpose, just to make his son laugh.

"You know," Mike commented, "Seems like just yesterday I was giving you a kick up the ass at my wedding, to go get your girl."

"I never did thank you, did I?" Tom suddenly realised.

Mike waved it away, "You don't have to. The free booze is thanks enough."

Tom laughed, taking a gulp of his champagne. "You okay?" He asked his friend.

"I'm great. Getting it right at last." Mike gestured towards Rachel, who was chatting animatedly with Tex and Nina. "Best thing that ever happened to me."

"I know what you mean." Tom agreed with feeling. He looked at Mike, and a smile came over his face. "Hey, remember at your wedding you made me say the goodbyes for you, so you and Rachel could sneak off home?"

Mike gave an exaggerated sigh. "I wondered when that was coming. And I was so happy to get away with not having to give a speech."

"Come on buddy, you knew there'd be at least one uncomfortable best man duty."

"I did," Mike said, setting down his glass and surprising Tom with a brief hug. The men clapped each other's backs and separated, smiling. "Go take care of your wife." Mike said, "I'll handle the rest."

Tom tried to carry Sasha all the way to their bedroom, but the narrow flight of stairs to the third floor proved his undoing, and he had to follow her instead, finding her stood still at the threshold of their bedroom, her eyes wide.

"Did you do this?"

He looked around at the candles, rose petals, and bottle of champagne in an ice bucket and shook his head. "No, not me."

Sasha turned to him with tears in her eyes. "Then who-"

But he'd already spotted the note tucked under the ice bucket, and began to read it aloud.

"Dear Mr and Mrs Chandler, enjoy your wedding night, you deserve it. Love from all of us." He set it down slowly. "It's Rachel's handwriting."

"Of course it is." Sasha stepped close, laying her hand on his shoulder. "We're so lucky, Tom."

"We are." He agreed, turning to face her.

"Now how about we get lucky, sailor?" She asked, laughing, and he pulled her into his arms.

"You just want to get me out of this uniform."

"So true." She smiled wickedly, "And you just want to see what's under this dress."

"So true." He echoed.

Sasha took a step back, and turned around. "Undo me?"

As he started to unlace the satin ribbons holding her dress together, he paused to kiss down her spine as he uncovered her skin, noting with growing desire that she wasn't wearing a bra, the tight bodice of the dress doing that particular job admirably. When he finally reached the base of her back and loosened the dress to fall in a pool to the floor, he could only gasp at the sight of the tiny scrap of lace that was all she wore beneath.

"Your turn," She murmured, starting to unfasten his uniform with a practised hand. After a second he managed to stop gaping and help, and as soon as he was undressed, he lifted Sasha onto the bed and kissed her, his hands running over her body as he joined her.

"You looked beautiful today." He told her, "But I prefer you like this."

"Oh really?" She laughed a little, and he pretended to think about it.

"Yeah. Actually, no." He corrected himself, "You're still wearing one garment too many." He ran a finger under the incredibly thin ribbon strap over her hip, tracing across the anchor tattoo that matched his own. "If I'd thought about it, I would have figured you'd got this lasered off long ago."

She shook her head as he eased her panties down. "Thought the same about yours. I was so glad to see it again." She was smiling, but there was something vulnerable in her eyes.

"I never forgot you, Sash, and I never regretted us. Not for one moment." He told her softly.

"There was never anyone else quite like you, Thomas Chandler." She touched his face, and then pulled his head down for a kiss, as he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"You're one of a kind, Sasha Chandler." He murmured into her ear, before kissing her again.

She whimpered slightly, at his words as much as his kiss, her legs wrapping around him as tightly as her arms. He'd planned a slow, loving seduction, but feeling her already hot and ready, her slick core pressing against his hardness, he surrendered to the inevitable and pushed inside of her slowly, groaning at the sensation.

Sasha gasped as he filled her, her fingers digging into his back and her heels digging into the firm muscle of his rear. "I love you," She gasped, feeling overwhelmed and somehow almost on the verge of tears. There had been many times like this since she and Tom had found each other again, moments of disbelief and joy, but always tinged with the fear that it might all vanish again. Now, she realised the fear was gone, and the tears that escaped and slid into her hair were of pure happiness.

"I love you," Tom murmured back, fighting tears of his own as he rocked slowly into her, "Always, Sash, always."

She trembled in his arms, clinging to him so tightly, and then he heard her gasp and felt her arch as she climaxed, and he buried his face in her neck and did the same, letting those rogue tears be lost in her hair.

Tom rolled onto his back, keeping his arms wrapped tightly around Sasha so that she stayed curled into him, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Look," He said, nodding towards the skylight windows, "The stars are out."

"It's funny," She said slowly, "I used to see the stars as a reason to keep moving – a navigation tool. But now I don't want to go anywhere at all." She reached up and laid her hand on his cheek, guiding his eyes to hers. "I'm home, Tom."

"Yes, you are," He kissed her gently, "Yes, you are."


	36. Epilogue - Happily Ever After

_Author's note: Arguably this little coda is unnecessary, but I wanted to see babies, so…_

 _I really hope you've enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I truly appreciate everyone who reads, favourites and follows, and most of all, those who review! You have no idea how much it means to get feedback, especially when you're juggling writing with everything else in life!_

 _I also have to give particular thanks to the ladies of the Writers Block Party, talented writers all, who made this story immeasurably better by being around to workshop, chat, and share pictures of the cast with their shirts off. And as always, I have to thank the serviceman in my life, who not only came up with Tex's famous pink suit, but a lot more besides._

 _Next up, I shall be writing a couple of stories for the Valentine's Day Story Extravaganza, if I can get them finished on time!_

 **Epilogue – Happily Ever After**

 _Exactly one year later_

Tex leant over his son's crib, grinning at the chuckling noise emitted by the chubby red headed baby.

"It's very early." He admonished gently, "And you, Jack Thomas Nolan, ought to know better." He lifted the ten month old into his arms, settling him against his shoulder.

Nina had spent the last few weeks of her pregnancy on bed rest, and Jack's birth had added to her scars with an emergency C-section, but the baby had been robust and healthy from the start, and had remained remarkably placid.

Walking to the window, Tex pointed at the two horses visible in a field on the horizon. "See the horses?" He asked Jack, "If you stay nice and quiet while your mom sleeps, then when your sister gets here, we'll go over to your Uncle Tom's and see them up close."

Not long after Jack's arrival, Kat had turned seventeen and headed straight off to the camp for the first stage of her Marine Corps training, and just a month later, Tom had called Tex about a house only a couple of miles from his and Sasha's. It had needed extensive renovation, and would always be a little on the rickety side, but it was home.

"Are you bribing the baby, Kansas?"

He turned to see Nina leaning against the door jamb, hair tied up in a messy knot on top of her head, long legs bare beneath one of his flannel shirts, and to him, entirely beautiful.

"Thought you could use some more sleep." He answered.

"I'm awake." She smiled, holding out her arms for Jack. "One of us needs to sort out Kat's bedroom. It's still full of crap from the old apartment, you can hardly get to the bed."

"How about you make a start while I make breakfast?" He offered. "You know my eggs are superior to yours."

"Sure," She kissed their son's head, ruffling his hair. "Jack and I can do the chores while you whip us up something special."

He wrapped his arms around them both, kissing Nina's temple, then her lips, lingering a little. "Sounds like a plan, Callaghan. Unless you want to head back to bed for a little while first?" He winked and she laughed.

"I could be persuaded..."

A couple of miles down the road, Tom was waking up to the familiar noises of the distant drone of the television downstairs, and the soft breathing of his wife beside him. Smiling, he leaned over and kissed Sasha's slightly parted lips, and as she murmured in response, he gently caressed her breast, then slid his hand down to stroke her stomach.

"Good morning, Mrs Chandler. Happy anniversary."

Sasha blinked and smiled up at him sleepily. "Happy anniversary." Her hand joined his on her belly, "Good morning little Chandlers to be."

"Not so little anymore." He commented, and she laughed.

Sasha had been adamant that they wait as long as possible to announce the pregnancy, but in the event, people had started to guess before she'd even passed the first trimester - something to do with the sudden curve of her belly and her habit of retching every time someone made her laugh. And now at almost thirty six weeks, she was, by her own declaration, the size of a house; hardly surprising given she was expecting twins.

Tom pulled back the blankets and kissed her belly.

"You sure you're still okay for this lunch today? We can put it off if you need to."

"Tom, I'm fine." She protested. "Huge, but fine. Besides, the whole point of today is to see everyone before we disappear into a storm of diapers!"

"Two weeks tomorrow." He said with a smile. "Can't wait."

"You're not the one having their stomach sliced open." Sasha grumbled, "You just had to outdo your buddies and get two in there, didn't you?" But inwardly she smiled. Pregnancy had been just as hard as she'd feared, but also as magical as she'd hoped.

As she hauled herself out of bed, however, she felt a strange sensation in her lower belly, and couldn't suppress a gasp.

"Sash?" Tom was immediately by her side, and she looked up at him with a mixture of fear and disbelief as the sensation gripped her again.

Back in the city, Mike woke up when his wife kicked him gently in the shin.

"What was that for?" He mumbled, and forced open his eyes to see Rachel looking at him with a winsome smile.

"What was what for?"

"You kicked me."

"I did not." She smiled innocently, "But since you're awake, I'd love a cup of tea." She batted her eyelashes, and he couldn't help laughing.

Moving swiftly to surprise her, he grabbed her wrists and rolled her onto her back, pinning her to mattress with his body. "Tea, huh? What am I, your slave?"

She laughed, "If you make me tea, I'll make it worth your while…" She pushed upwards, pressing her hips into his.

"Oh really?" He dipped his head and kissed her, "What exactly would that involve?"

She smirked a little, "Bring me my tea and I'll show you."

Laughing, he surrendered and got out of bed, stretching tall and enjoying the way she watched him. Their relationship had become even stronger over the past year, as they both found the balance between the jobs they loved and the family they valued so highly. It helped that as Jamie grew older, all three of them got more sleep, and the peaceful neighbourhood where their new home was located had helped with that too.

He stopped by Jamie's room on his way to the kitchen, scooping up his son when he saw that the two year old was awake. As he plonked Jamie into his high chair while he started on tea for Rachel and coffee for himself, he heard Rachel's cell phone ringing in their bedroom, and the murmur of his wife's voice as she answered.

A few minutes later, she entered the room, phone still in hand. "That was Sasha." She said, "Slight change of plans…"

It wasn't that they all _needed_ to be at the hospital, though each of them could have found a practical justification for it if pushed. It was more that the idea of not being there felt wrong. And so, while Sasha laboured with Tom at her side, Mike, Rachel, Tex and Nina sat in the waiting room, alongside Jed, Ashley and Sam, and did an excellent job of pretending to read, watch TV, and play with Jamie and Jack, all the while with ears pricked for any sound to indicate that the twins had arrived.

In the event, it was long into the evening before Tom emerged from the delivery room. Jamie was asleep in Ash's arms, and Tex was walking Jack up and down along the rows of chairs while Nina played cards with Sam. Jed was dozing, and snoring slightly, and Rachel was fast asleep, her head resting on Mike's lap.

Tom headed straight for his son and daughter, his face lit by a beaming smile. "You guys want to meet your brother and sister?"

"Yes!" Sam leapt up immediately, his exclamation waking Rachel and Jed, and Ashley grinned, carefully handing Jamie to Nina before she stepped forward to hug her dad.

"Hey Commodore, we all want to meet them!" Tex protested, and Tom's grin grew wider.

"The doctors aren't going to like it."

"I'm a doctor. I'll take them on." Rachel yawned and smiled at the same time. "How's Sasha?"

"Incredible." Tom answered, looking slightly awed. "She was incredible."

The lighting in the room had been dimmed a little, but Sasha's smile was radiant as they slowly filed in. Tom went to her side and lifted one of the tiny twins from her arms.

"Which one is which?" Sam wanted to know.

"This," Tom said, turning the baby very carefully so they could see him, "Is your brother."

"And here's your sister." Sasha said.

Ashley approached the bed carefully, and Sasha immediately allowed her to take the baby.

"Hello Amelia." Ashley said softly.

Sasha felt tears well up in her eyes as she watched her stepdaughter holding her new sister. "What do you think?" She managed.

"She's so tiny." Ash answered. "And so cute."

Rachel stepped close and looked down at the little face. "Amelia?"

"My mother's name." Sasha told her.

"But this one is Amelia Rachel." Ash said, looking up at Rachel. "Sasha and Dad wanted to name her after you."

Mike wrapped his arm around Rachel's shoulders as she fought tears. "Great name." He said quietly, when his wife was unable to speak.

"And this," Tom said, looking over at his father, "Is Jed Kansas Chandler." They'd already discussed it, so it was no surprise to Jed, but nonetheless, Tom could see how moved his father was.

"Kansas?" Nina started to laugh in disbelief and Tex joined in.

"You're kidding, Commodore?"

Tom shook his head. "Not kidding. We figured it fit the pair of you."

"But what about-" Tex's eyes flew to Mike.

Sam puffed out his chest a little, "Samuel Michael Chandler, at your service!" He declared, and everybody laughed.

"I got in there early." Mike confirmed.

Tom looked around the room, at his friends, his elder children, his new babies, and then finally at his wife. Sasha might have looked tired, but all he saw was the joy shining out of her. Perching on the edge of the bed, he kissed her hair, careful not to disturb the baby in his arms.

"I love you, Sash." He said softly, and she looked up at him, smiling, her eyes full of unshed tears.

"I love you, Tom."

He kissed her lips softly, but then the moment was interrupted by the dry voice of Mike Slattery.

"If this is how you celebrate your first wedding anniversary, how in the hell are you going to top this next year?"

 **THE END**


End file.
